| Blogs > mistyfern > Dewi Kayangan |
|
Little Dragon Girls Sometimes, I feel amazed. Sometimes, very empathetic. Amazed with the fearlessness, the Mammoth courage, determinations, stoic standing and diligence of the Chinese women from Mainland China who work illegally in Malaysia, in nightclubs, massage parlors, karaoke lounges, etc. Their hardships and difficulties to earn money in a foreign land, only to improve their families’ financial situations back in their motherland China, never once leaves me without feeling disturbed and empathetic. Most of them come to Malaysia via student visas. Using these visas (a violation), they work illegally in the nightclubs and other places where they could sell themselves. The valid period of their visas isn't long, usually 3 months, as most only applied to study the English language here, and not for Degrees or Masters. The locals call them ‘xiao lung nu’ or ‘little dragon girls’. I befriended some of them, though they could be our rivals. Some were willing to share with me their enormous difficulties, here and back in their homeland. They didn’t have ample time, but urgently needed to earn as much as possible before their visas expired. First of all, they had to earn enough money to pay off the amount they owe to their agents and the flight tickets, within the valid period of their visas. These girls could only pocket the money they earned AFTER earning enough to pay off their debts to their agents and the flight tickets. Those amounts were not small. In certain nightclubs or massage parlors, prices for these Chinese girls were lower than ours, the local girls’. There were reasons for that. The Chinese girls AGREED to receive the lower pays. It also meant they were willing to work HARDER, for LESS money. Sometimes the pays were so small, to the point of exploitation, but they STILL allowed themselves to be exploited, so that they’d earned something, rather than nothing. Choosing exploitation over poverty is a real poignant decision. And the condom issue. We local girls never asked, the Chinese girls never told. We only heard the revelations from the . They told us the Chinese girls would agree to offer sex services with OR without using condoms. Not one, not two told us that, but many more. Now, choosing the risk of AIDS over poverty is an even more heart-rending, gravely pitiful decision! To them, taking such deals was akin to gamble with card games. (To us, it’s a Russian roulette, a bet of life or death). If they win, they’d collect their pays with clean bills of health. If not, then it would be an unimaginable horrifying tragic. And to keep on living and working within the short period of time, they’d occupy their heads with the rewards or their earnings of the day. AIDS or Herpes, should never occur in their minds, or should be overlooked entirely. Or anything negative like that would affect their thoughts, and consequently turned down the chances to earn more, which were already difficult to get by. To them, both easy and Herculean jobs seemed to be Mission Possible. They’d attempt the grim, difficult, painful, and even dangerous tasks, only to earn the rewards, considerable or less. Once, I witnessed a Chinese girl who willing to gulp down the entire remainder, almost ¾ of the bottle of Hennessy VSOP, neat, in front of the and us, the rest of the hostesses, for only RM300 (U$ 78.94). After finish gulping all down, the hapless girl collapsed and had to be carried out of the karaoke room. Their great agony of destitution back home, which lead them to brave themselves to go through the risky and life-threatening paths, is unknown to most Malaysians of all societal classes. And the worst, most arrogant and least considerate among all are the trendy YUPPIES, who are very quick to condemn, criticize, hurling offensive name-callings and despise these Chinese girls to no end. (They were born with silver spoon in their mouth, of which they did nothing to earn). These girls’ situations of deficiency and deprivation of even basic necessities back home never spring to mind, and enjoying life is only these Yuppies’ concerns. Hedonistic as it sounds, these privileged people would never learn. They watch TV with great interests whenever there are news with scenes of scantily clad foreign girls being hauled into the police trucks. Later, a ha ha. Well, one’s wealth level, like the rising of a Hollywood starlet, would soar, but later might fall into the lowest pit, like the unexpected declining of fame of the starlet. Serves them right, if that really happens to the Yuppies. With popcorns and Coke, I’ll watch these fallen kiasus, who once enjoyed each moment of showing off their Jimmy Choos, Christian Diors, Pradas and Jaguars, now must struggle to adapt to their newly unfamiliar, bitter and agonizing, miserable austere lives. |
|||
1/11/2006 2:39 pm |
to them.. this is surely a choice they made after weighing many many things, as many know the turn taken, is an entirely different road in life.. It is good some have met you that you may let them beaware of what you can. In poverty, the commodity of sex, is surely a well considered option among many, and there are surely as many replacments to follow the one's who's visa's expeire.. One the indulgence into the arena, it will be a challenge to deal with life differently when they return to their home land. and their life may well be changed forever.. the Yuppies make fun, and taunt, but when they want a night out, where do they go... "to these girls"... I think regardless of the fact the women work in the business, they still are women, and should be treate with some dignity.. they may do any act requested and desired, but they are still woman.. some will find success some will find challenges and some will return, and some will find ways not to return.. It's a great bridge they cross.. and the journey is very uncertain.. organized crime surely has a hand in the managment, and that is a peril that many will have to deal with in various ways..
| ||
1/11/2006 3:55 pm |
Happy new year dear  Im glad i have the chance to read what has been written. Thank you for sharing this piece of information. A survivor because they dare to challenge their ways. However, since they have made their decision, then they just have to receive whatever that comes in their way. What you wrote are very true. Let me share another insider information with you. I have known an uncle who has just recently chased out by his wife because this uncle is rich and booked a hotel (bao yi lai) having another woman - a xiao long nu. He is on his way going through the divorce procedure. Sadly enough, his children is only in primary schools.
| ||
1/11/2006 5:24 pm |
Personally, I always think about the ineconomies of scale that drive those less privilaged than myself into adopting desperate means to pay their way in life and provide for their families. Truly I do. I'm a very practical, humble individual, by any culture's standards, and it ticks me off when the overweight girls in my workplace (and culture) gripe about being 'hungry'/'starving' every couple of hours throughout the day, whilst indulging in the excessive, pricey foodstuffs they order in everydayday. As I tuck into my home-made salads, tuna & beans, and egg-whites (for health reasons only, you understand) I think, "Damn, you don't know what hunger is, girl." True hunger, as expressed by someone living in the backwaters of any third or second-world country, let alone China or North Korea, beggars no comparison as to the hardships that people must endure - especially disadvantaged women - trapped in such poverty. It makes me very sad and, in my naive, masculine pride I sometimes dream of rescuing just one of these women from their desperate lives to treasure and protect from all the hardship, but in reality know that my gesture would not make a dent in the desperate need of the many that truly need salvation from their plight. What the hell can we do, Misty..? Having lived in Australia for many years, I did encounter lotsa diverse folks, including sex workers (who have a number of legal avenues open to them over there) and various other outcasts and desperadoes, who gave me insight into the world you are referring to. These people didn't disgust or offend me, as I saw who they were and where they came from. In a lot of ways I had more respect for them than the supposedly free-willed people who flaunted their whares and advantages (who I feel weren't burdened by economic or social stigmas yet, who in truth, acted more like the whores and criminals that society labelled as such within their own culture). To all those poor girls, I'd like to wrap my arms around them and protect them from all this harshness in life, but I'm just one man who can only truly give himself to one woman, and don't have the means or the time to save everyone...  As I say, it makes me very sad, but I don't think there's a hell of a lot that a guy like me can do about it... What is the solution?
| ||
1/12/2006 6:29 am |
Hey guys, get a grip...pls stop sounding like wimps. There was one male journalist who rescued 2 girls in Cambodia (journalists are not supposed to be involved with the interviewees) after being sick of reporting all these exploitation w/o doing anything about it. One girl was doing ok, opening a small shop in her hometown - she was said as having returned from 'working' in the city. Another girl, have decided to return to her brothel after facing discrimination by her own family and the other villagers. Mind you, these are some of the families who sell their daughthers to buy new stereos. Not that they have lots of debts, whatever. If you like to know what you can do, get involved with humanity efforts from UN, involved in local charity work, donates graciously whenever you can. Every effort counts
| ||
1/13/2006 6:41 am |
During my visit to Thailand, I would discuss with some girls about business, and what are their aspirations, some worked to take care of childern back in their home area, some saved for business ideas, and some just spent the money as fast as they make it.. some make the job as fun as possible,as some have said they enjoy sex, some resent their job, but respect it because they need to earn a living. Many of these girls are actually smart in various ways, and learn the game of the business quickly or suffer it's perils. I find it very amazing that some of there girls are very appealing, and yet, they are down to earth in the sene they are willing to be various types of farmer's and that was very interesting, because If that same woman was in the states, with her physical appeal, she would not touch a rake or a vegatable garden, unless it was for a hobby..and that would probably not happen until she was a much older and settled woman. Waht I do find interesting too, is when treated good and respectful, the feelings is reciporcated and it's a positive thing for the girls to have respect. I frequently talk with some I've met, they don't ask for money or anything, they just talk..friendly conversation...updates on their progress and etc.. With life... there is so much of everthing ... always present and we never know what conditions other have, what they come from or what they contend with.. But the will to survive is strong, and the willing to do what's necessary is strong..who knows what the girls go thru, before her parents send her out to sell herself and make means for the family.. no one is going to eridicate prostitution, so... what VirgoSerpent, said... is probably the best senario. "What the men can do is, put on a condom before any kind of sex". As Fourtncookie, writes, "Another girl, have decided to return to her brothel after facing discrimination by her own family and the other villagers". Mind you, these are some of the families who sell their daughthers to buy new stereos. Not that they have lots of debts, whatever. So we don't know... many things and factors..and there are probably more variations on values, in various villages about the world, that what we see in one region as being bad, may be common practice in another region.. We read some Chinese women say their values are this and that, taught at home, an then you have homes that teach values that the daughter must sell herself into the sex business,for the family's wants and needs.. so we never know what values are to different people from different places... right or wrong.. in our view, or the humanitarian view.. what is taught and managed in the individual home is still.. with many many variations .. the life in the business, may be better for some than home life.. as again... I agree with virgo.. " use a condom"..
| ||
1/13/2006 7:06 am |
Friends dearest, Thank you very much for all the invaluable responses, of which I enable me to perceive from the double perspectives. You see, I'm in the situation where I've to live a double life ‒ in the day world and in the subtle night underworld. Both worlds are clashing, contradicting, opposing and could be against each other in certain matters. So, I have to switch my mind, front and back all the time, to adapt and to fit into these 2 completely opposite worlds. And that’s not easy to do. Dear dogdarko, Yes, in certain parts of the world, hungry and famine are the major socio-economical problems. But in the extreme irony, in the other parts of the world, hunger is chosen over everything else, a kind of luxury. People spend an equivalent of a GDP per capita of a small nation on diet programs, slimming pills, slimming salons and so on. Also, since I'm having Eating Disorder, I often FLUSH foods into the toilets, an uncontrollable obsessive condition of mine. An even greater irony! So, what the hell can we do? What can I do to myself? (The government doctor said, ‘Why don’t you use your will-power?’. Damn, this shallow-thinking shrink was telling me that my mother was a woman). Really, I dunno. Dear fortune cookies, I beg to differ. Those guys did not sound wimpish, but only to express their candid opinions, from their sides of the world. Yes, of course, in many 3rd World countries, girls are no longer being forced into prostitution, or being sold into. I’ve also read about some very young girls was rescued by some NGOs from the brothels in Thailand. But these girls and their parents were NOT pleased or grateful for that. The parents even rebuked the NGOs for BREAKING THEIR RICE BOWLS! Not long after that, the young girls slipped back to the brothels. Here in Malaysia, no pimps, snakeheads, or anyone else forces any girls into prostitution, but the girls’ and/or their familial financial circumstances do. Apart from the stereotypical reasons like destitution, having to pay their parents’ debts, and other sob reasons; the desires to improve one’s living standard, desires to earn more money to buy assets like houses, cars, or start a small business as their future financial securities, desires to have luxuries that they never have all their lives, even desires to earn money to pursue their education are the reasons for these girls to choose to work as commercial sex workers. Girls can earn FAST money this way. All my ‘sisters’ AND I chose to work in the nightclubs also BASED ON these reasons, mind. But remember, we girls do not want only survival, but a QUALITY life, like everyone else. If a lawyer changes his Honda to BMW, no one says nothing bad, but praises for his new asset. But if a nightclub girl drives a BMW, all sort of negative criticisms would be thrown on her, for being materialistic, a gold digger, lazy to work in the daytime, and so on. But aren't ALL of us, from a reputable heart surgeon, to fashion designer, to taxi drivers to prostitutes have the BASIC RIGHTS to want to have a better life and to improve living standards? Why is such damn discrimination? Very unfortunately, the society would never tolerate anything that they think are negatively different or do not conform. Sometimes the society even equalizes certain non-conformities, example, having many fancy tattoos, with crimes. How ridiculous. And neither it would change in probably for centuries to come.
| ||
1/14/2006 3:51 am |
Actually, not only in malaysia. I saw lots of advertisements in australia stating the price, the phone number, the name and their countries they are from. When asked, they are students! 
| ||
1/15/2006 2:04 am |
Friends dearest, Thanks for your supports agian and the positive criticisms(I still need to correct myself, dont I?). Dear karenmsia, Thanks for appreciating my pieces. It had been a long time before I post this blog of mine. But I'll try to write more as my health condition and time permit. Also, I write lots of my nonsenses in the replies to Advice Line over in Magazine section. Hope you'll read them, and my eccentric sense of humors would lighten up your days!... .
| ||
1/15/2006 7:42 pm |
toukki wrote: "Actually, not only in malaysia. I saw lots of advertisements in australia stating the price, the phone number, the name and their countries they are from. When asked, they are students!..." In the USA, some of them place ads for webcams & joke about being "flower girls". Not making fun of toukki, this is true.
| ||
1/16/2006 3:10 am |
I guessed it happens everywhere in this world isnt it? Sometimes we just close the other eyes pretend nothing happened.
| ||
1/16/2006 5:31 am |
hey...its me loh..strange, i found my way back to blog...somehow i could not get into it but 2day,...by accident through a link in articles.... anyway, good stuff you wrote, said more than i want to say earlier about contract wives.... these girls are real scary...they earn about 400-600y in putien industrial estate...most arrive by the loads...you see them 4x a week offloading from klia...like flesh market...first they get hassle at the immigration, then they get hassled by the pimps who seems to colude with the cops to round them up at the right time. their stay is a month on social pass.....some stay in lockups 14days if no bail. ..if bail then they owe the pimps $$$... It is known in fujian what they went there for....earned a lousy name for themselves....many tiao fei ji....disappeared..mingle with local and became illegals entertainers...then surrender for a ticket back.....they have their network in kl...loose passport then stay 2 yrs and then returned thru back door....get new passport and start again.. take care...and keep writing will you?
| ||
1/20/2006 9:35 pm |
Those men are idiots if they don't wear a condom, for their own sake. Poor gals. I had to take care of a women friend of mine here in the US the night before she received the results of an AIDS test because she was so freaked out about her previous boyfriend's condition. He had visited 3 prostitutes, uncovered, prior to their relationship. She was unwise even to go out with the poor-judgment guy in the first place, but to then have unprotected sex with him..... Anyway---- Misty, good to see you back!!! I try not to use your blogging as a health barometer, but it is hard not to be concerned sometimes. And I am relieved to hear that you are adamant about your clients using condoms. That's one question I've wanted to ask, but never felt quite right about doing so. A question (I do feel comfortable asking  )--you mentioned that the temp Chinese sex trade workers were exploited. Do you feel exploited? I think I know the answer, but your answers often surprise me.
| ||
1/20/2006 9:43 pm |
Wait-- "The government doctor said, ‘Why don’t you use your will-power?’" Ugghhh!!! I wish I could jump in. I wish I could jump in. I wish I could jump in. I wish I could jump in. I wish I could jump in. I wish I could jump in. Seriously, I hope your private psych is more insightful than this example of government "quality" treatment. Goddamn.
| ||
|
mistyfern. I read yr post and pics, I feel u'r a rare woman that wills to expose her power and the truth. Emotionally, as a female Chinese, I dont feel comfortable seeing these girls n the label Little Dragon Girl. From a kid on, we've sung Heirs of Dragon because we are pround of being that. But this label was not strange. I read a novel written by a Chinese lady based on her experiences in high-class prostitution in memory of a loved client in Singapore. They were also called Little Dragon Girl. In China, everywhere, Misses business are booming. From my point of view and understanding, those girls who choose to do this biz is not because of poverty or hunger. It is that most of them want a shortcut to money, fearing of the sweating works in industry n services, while there are still many choices of a hardworking n wage-earning job. They just shrug them off and swim into this deep pool, w/o knowing the bottom. It is a matter of choice, if they can afford it. We do appreciate those work hard to earn their money, regardless of job nature. But, why not be smarter?! Our patrial girls! I do beg ppl not to name it in name of dragon.
|
