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No Jealousy No Love No Jealousy No Love... Do you agree? As it has been, love must be spiced up by some negative emotions. |
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swallow, if he/she trusts the person, there would be no cause for jealousy. But the reason for the so called, "trust" could be numerous; *the person IS trustworthy *he/she is very naive *he/she is confident about him/herself *worrying is not in his/her nature *he/she is hiding their jealousy *acting naive, waiting to catch the person red handed! but alas, humans being, humans, its probably a mixture of the examples. As you so rightly put, showing jealousy or even pretending to be jealous can be used to great effect in spicing-up/reinforcing a relationship.    minnie
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Nam Jealousy is not expression of fear of lossing. It's quite an instinctive feeling generated by love and care. It exists in any relationship, in lovers, friends, colleas. But in love it's more apparent. Mojo Jealousy can reinforce a relationship? explain pls. I just doubt if your beloved girl is flirting w/ another guy, but you dont feel jealous, it w/b one of the scenarios listed by you, or, simply, you dont care and yr love's not strong.
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What can I say, swallow, two great teachers have pipped me to the mark! DVC used the word, PRISON, "Jealousy is the prison of love". Nan likened it to POISON, "Jealousy is like poison"......... and I must agree with them both, jealousy is a poison, that, as it slowly infestates will eventually consume and imprison us and definitely mustn't be played with, as I foolishly seemed to have implied in my comment. But I do feel that, as with most things, however detrimental, they almost always have a good side, for instance, prisons should reform a person and many poisons do have medicinal properties......so must jealousy have qualities which are of value, it cannot be totally harmful. Like medicine, jealousy taken in right proportions, i.e strength and frequency, can be used as a relationship tonic. For example, just as DVC, mentioned that, "[Jealousy] is quite an instinctive feeling generated by selfishness, lack of self-confidence and inability to trust...", jealousy in small quantities will have the exact opposite effect of, unselfish, confidence giving and trust affirming properties. For instance, it makes me feel good, when my gf gets a little jealous. I find her charming, it gives my confidence a boost and it reaffirms my trust of her. So I too, when the timing seems right, light-heartedly, pretend to be jealous of her, to give her confidence and trust a boost.....jealousy can be positive and fun, in moderation. Flirtation is also good for all parties concerned, as long as it stops there. The person being flirted to, usually feels better for it and they will take that joy back to their partner. The flirt is made happy by doing it, and he/she will bring the good feeling back into his/her relationship. minnie
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lol....Yes, DVC, its a thin red line, especially if our partner or we are stressed or tired, a couple of badly chosen words taken the wrong way and, what was supposed to be a tonic, rapidly becomes a scene from Papillion,,,,and I'm no Steve McQueen, lol. minnie
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Great masters Nam, DVC, Mojo, I must say iºve leant something from you. for sure!!!!!!And I am going to change my groud. But when i ran into Oasis, I found we have good reason to believe ºno jealousy no loveº, though i am against no money no love. You can feel jealous in a good way, you can hide it to avoid the 2'hr quarrel. But lack of it is like short of chilly in a plain Thai dish. Maybe mojo is a moderation master in jealousy...
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what i am seeking right now is to ...u know_
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lol, swallow, i'm no moderation master in jealousy, but thank you. Waht I write here on Chinese FriendFinder and what actually happens in my real life are totally different, life is not as clear cut, its a lot more messy! When we are happy, feeling confident, healthy , we are probably close to our ideals, but the real test of our character is, can we be true to our ideals when; under pressure, unhappy, less confident, tired, stressed or ill.....that is something I need to work on because I don't mind saying that, I tend to lose it, sometimes embarrassingly! but it's a goal on page one of my list of, things to do.  minnie
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Nan, you understand me correctly and I understand you too....mo and jo, lol, it is a bit of a Jekyl'n Hyde, lol. minnie
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Waht I write here on Asia FriendFinder and what actually happens in my real life are totally different, life is not as clear cut, its a lot more messy! Mo&jo, Do u mean you are a fictionist on AFF? You can create more messy stories than in life! Re Ideals, means happiness bring about ideals or make you close to an ideal status. I am sure it's an ideal only if you want to retain it even when you are stressed, unhappy, or grabbed by negative emotions. hey, be man, or saint! Nam, To hide a bit our negative emotions and create a happy gathering is also important? No? There s/b a bit sacrifice in a relationship.
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Now i uncover it: I just want my lover to feel jealous bcoz of me or my actions. I want his jealousy!
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Quoting Swallow _____________________________________________________________________ Mo&jo, Do u mean you are a fictionist on AFF? You can create more messy stories than in life! _____________________________________________________________________ lol, in a sense yes, but not, may I add telling stories, as in LYING  On AFF, a lot of the time, I talk about my Ideals and beliefs and how I believe it should be, but in real life, I will be the first to admit, it rarely goes to plan, lol. minnie
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quoting Swallow _____________________________________________________________________ Now i uncover it: I just want my lover to feel jealous bcoz of me or my actions. I want his jealousy!_____________________________________________________________________ Don't over-do-it, swallow, remember what DVC & Nan said, "Prison & Poison" it could spiral out of control and end up as a Tit for Tat. Also make sure before you try-it-on, he's in a good enough mood to have the confidence to take it  minnie
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Mo&JO< You have your reflection on Chinese FriendFinder by telling stories, or double personalities? Hehe...everyone has! Poison is something strong I ought to try.
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LOL, swallow & tsui....errr, sort of an idealistic schizophrenic, as nan seems to be implying by calling me, mo & jo minnie
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12/14/2007 9:22 pm |
Oh bugger prison and poison. Why does everything have to be so complicated??? Jealousy can be felt but not expressed accusatorially or to cause schisms! Anyone who does not feel a little jealous does not value his counterpart. It expresses care, and value for God's sake. Why does every emotion have to be destructive?? Jealousy does not have to mean fights, locking people behind doors, surely those are extremes? All emotions have extremes, Heaven save me from them. Yet a little jealousy is a spice!!!
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