| Blogs > swallowtsui > Hopping Swallow 鍋爐焰焰 |
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Marriage, what you are for? I. Two reasons for Marriage: Today, the myth of marriage has been unveiled. Its truth inexorably reveals to the married, the divorced, the unmarried. Any need to get married? Yes, here is a precise conclusion by my female friend who has some experience, and I think it has some sense: 1. To marry unless you meet someone with whom you think deserves a lifelong companionship. 2. To marry for the only and ultimate purpose for marriage, as it is designed by society - to have marital and continue your generations. II. Marriage Deserter Deserter fm love is common. Have you ever known any deserter fm marriage, family? My answer is yes. And more likely they are men. Women seldom brave the deserting of , though they may desert their men (like the novel/movie Madison Bridge, she develops a romantic relationship but still stays for the family). I mean those who suddenly disappear and flee from the wives/husbands and , without any notice. They would usually say - leisurely, casually- “I go out to buy cigarette. “ There’s no traceable sign. Then completely disappear, no explanation, no why, no further contact, disregarding all the reality behind. My friend told me of his neighbor’s deserting story, long ago, far away, in South Africa . And only yesterday, I was stunned to know another but the deserted wife and were right in front of me ‒ in the green valley. They are expatriates. I knew the lady some years ago, a single mother w/ two . Slender, she appears to be a little sensitive. But she’s gentle, kind, always with a smile hard to describe. Only yesterday, I knew her husband fled years ago without any trail, the typical kind of deserter from marriage/family. The mockery was: he happened to meet an acquaintance in the terminal port, he told him that he’s going to flee. The acquaintance said nothing to the wife during all the years. Oh, I can say now: her smile is kind-of sad and the ’ expression shows some indifference to the world. In animal world, we know some species will desert their ‒ more a survival choice. The giant panda mother will abandon a baby panda because she cannot afford to foster two babies at a time. How come this happens to man, who is supposed to be bound by human morality and responsibilities? Man may say it understandable that sometimes men get fed up by the wife/family and want to flash away. Is it a sort of mental dead knot? Cowardly action? I wonder. Will the deserters have compunctions? Will they miss who they left behind? So, you should count the deserter into your risks when you decide to marry someone. What can I wish you? Good luck? ----P.S. By quoting this very exceptional issue, I am not blaming on marriage system. Given it a traditional merit and practice, there are still many successful marriages (provided that you don’t probe into and demand much fm marriage, eheh…  pic. I love you - egg hearts, source unkown 
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I have a good girl friend also having this experience at a young age as 23. She loved him and they lived together. She had his child but was aborted bcoz of medical reason. The man suddently disappeared one day, both her and his family knowing nothing. She stayed and supported his mother for some periods, waiting for him. But at last she herself had to leave that sad city for another place in order to forget. The hearty destruction was apparent, she has something unexpected in a 20 sth young woman. They never meet again. But finally, blissfully, she married to an honest guy who loved her (actually it's her took the initial), having a 2-y-o pretty girl.
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8/28/2006 6:04 am |
is it true that in order to know someone else, you should know yourself? how can we know what another person is capable/incapable of, or willing to commit (or refrain from), justifying their actions as they wish? questions lead to more questions. - n
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DVC, I am concerned more with the cause attributing to the deserting of a whole family (incl. wife/children/parents), and deserting of a whole reality, than with the definiendum. What's the worst, they desert secretly without any notice and information, putting the family in a lifelong ordeal of puzzle. I want to probe into you guys' mentality - what's wrong there? Do you read well? Though you are very pessimistic abt the current monogamy, i agree with you more or less. When will we have another option? Or the options are already with us.
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What a heap of lies! Disgusting... Dvc, strong exclamation, desparate. i leave it to marriage happiers to debate w/you. But, here on aff, perhaps nobody is qualified. Did you offend the billions of ppl inside marriage castle by saying so? A drop of spit fm each one would flood you away.  BTW, fight or flight? Romantic saying. Seems the climax of it when they flee.
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8/31/2006 6:03 am |
 Please don't disturb a chicken before he hatches.
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