| Blogs > caragh92 > Art of healthy & loving LTR |
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Searching for the Significant One ‒ Part II: My Stories with AFF (I posted this blog in January, and took off within 24 hours because I felt that I released too much information about myself. After my poll and my previous blog about online date, some people showed their interests in my personal experiences with online dating. Ok, let’s be honest and open, this blog is to support my previously blog ‒ there are many good people on A.F.F., but whether meeting the person will lead a long-term relationship or marriage is still doubtful. I only hope Mr. A., B. C. wont’ feel that I gave out too much personal information about them. At least, this blog could contribute the study of online dating) My journey for looking Mr. Right on Chinese FriendFinder started last summer. Mr. A was my first date over AFF. I thought he was much nicer than the way my ex-husband had treated me. Mr. A was funny and witty. With him, my weekends were occupied by short-trips. I was so happy knowing him until one day I totally lost contact with him. I couldn’t reach him in the modern time with all high-tech devices. Well, he did send me an e-mail stating he wanted space. Mr. A has space issues, whenever he feels the closeness with someone he has to run away ‒ this is called Commitment phobic, which I learned from my reading. Mr. B is a good-looking intelligent young Chinese professional. We share a lot of common things, such as career pursuing, experiences with business school, reading, and others. I thought Mr. B was my Mr. Right until one day he revealed his real “MBA” status indeed ‒ “Married but Available” with no intention getting divorce. Be a third party is not what I want for a relationship. Bye, after two months dating Mr. B. Meanwhile, Mr. A came back from nowhere with more than 10 e-mails a day, phone calls, IM, he expressed his “Love” to me. We got back. My feeling for him was not strong as before, and I had fear about losing him again. After few weeks being together, he started the disappearing game again. After six months off-on seen each other, I didn’t feel this is the man I want. Here comes Mr. C, who is my first Caucasian man I’ve had close contact with. We clearly had so-called “Chemistry” at our first date at the beginning of January. He is charming, handsome, a hard working person. He does have qualities of a man whom I am looking for. We have been causally dating for the past few months. Mr. C clearly stated that he “likes” me a lot but he couldn’t commit to me at this time because he is busy building his businesses with 12-14 working hours on daily basis. Further more, no signs have been shown that he is interested in building up any emotional attachment. We hardly communicate besides the time when we are together. Clearly, this situation can’t fulfill my expectations for a healthy relationship. At this time, I still like Mr. C, but I don’t want to change him to fit my needs. Meanwhile, I can’t sit and wait him to show his love and caring to me. He has his chance. That’s why I am still here blogging. I hope this blog satisfy your curiosity about my online dating experiences, I haven’t dated anyone from other websites. 
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Your Mr. A,B,and C are like the three coins in a fountain ... Wonder which the fountain bless!  But seriously speaking , I think your choosy minded attitude is playing on you!... Just be sure you will not fall prey or be gullible to their ploy. Be safe always...
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Oh! These ABC! Do you see some common syndrome on them? Caragh, thank you for your honest sharing. Keep go and enjoy life, surprise will come when you least expect.
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4/24/2006 9:13 pm |
I noticed in some of your poll's you did not comment on any comment I posted... so I gather that your particularity has variable of filters..that rule out much.. As you note in this blog, that you have a first contact with a cacusian, which I gather to mean that you are not comfortable with anyone beyond your race and ethnicity and thus hae apprehensions. your are very pretty, have a good sense of humor, and a great love of your son.. but as you said in another blog, that you at a time assessed guy's by wether you could consider them for the bedroom.. which may have been a method you useed as a defense tactic.. It's no doubt that you are very intellegent and very professional in your business, and have been hurt and disappointed in things, some by others, some by how you assess others.. but I wish you the best in finding what will work for you.. your charm is delightful and as you said, in a earlier post, that in your youth you were told it would be a problem for you.. I do hope that you have come to manage it , where you actually give yourself and others a chance... just going out with someone does not mean you give them or yourself a chance... it's been a series of observations and caculations of assesment.. rather than just going out and enjoying the company of the person.. has it ever occoured that, the person may be just as nervous as you, and maybe more nertvous, because he knows he's being analized down to the thread count of his shirt.. while you are less nervous because you are sitting in the Judge seat.. Just go have fun... you are beauty, funny, and with a lot to present to share in a relationship... and you seem to be comfortable with your passions, and you awareness of pleasure in relation to your person of self, and you have a very think protection of your heart, but maybe rightfully so, because your consideration of a man, is not just of that man, but of your son as well as yourself.. so you may need to just go have fun with the man.. on something other than a dinner setting.. what's wrong with a walk about the city, and etc..and just see what things you two actually like.. you have so much beauty that it would really be a shame if it's not shared with someone.. we hae our outer beauty that helps us. in attracting other's to see the inner beauty of our soul in the way we express ourselves..
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4/24/2006 11:02 pm |
Pls, take no offense at my posting... I do think you deserve a Great and deep love, that has every dimension of beauty that can unfold into life, as I'm sure, your embrace of it.. will be with a heart that has the strength to reach for the infinity of what loving can yeild..
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