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My Semi-Closing on A.F.F. My affair with Mr. C is finally ended with a full stop. We fell into each other at the first sight, however, after six months, the mutual likeness never turned into a real romance. We have no common vision about a relationship. I need a break. My contribution to this website is that you’ve found a real person, Caragh, who has sharing her happiness, sadness, parenting stories, short-term A.F.F. love affairs, illness, who is a real person you can site down with and talk about many things. To you, Caragh is not a stranger instead of a live normal woman who’s searching for love like many of A.F.Fer. I thank you for reading my blogs From my blogs, you’ve known I like music, travel, gym, spa, reading, a hard working and independent woman. From reading your comments and blogs, I have known some of you as well. I’m thankful the blog space providing an opportunity for us to learn, share, and obtain comfort. I have known a few people who I’ll keep in touch as friends due to my non-LDR rules. Still, I can’t handle love affairs from long-distance. To me, I doubt “friendship” between a man and woman in short-distance; however, in long-distance, the friendship can be limited only as friendship by uneasy-access sex issues. What do I think about online dating? It definitely gives you a chance to know and meet more people who are on the page as you, and it’s trendy and will be accepted by many singles or non-singles who want to have any kind of relationships. Finding the “one”, it depends on timing, and for my case, location too. Again, no places, including A.F.F., can guarantee you/us a mate. My opinion on my latest poll about past stories telling and hearing is depends on situation and the personality of the person you are dating. It’s reciprocal. It’s not an answer with Yes or No. What am I going to do next? Of course, working and taking care of , and spending more time with him, laughing with him more. One day, my little one asked me “Mommy, you didn’t know would be much fun, huh?” Sure , I've had much fun once having you in my life, I will enjoy each moment being with you! I feel the hunger for improving my taste in arts and exploring cultures; thus, I will take some classes in my local museums or community colleges. There are too much to learn, too many books to read. I need to get back into more inner beauties of human history rather than coldness competitions in the business world. Do I feel lonely? Certainly, loneliness is normal feeling to a normal person. Having a wrong person in my life, I would be even lonelier. I like the loneliness so that it forces me to think to have a clear vision about future. If I can’t avoid the loneliness, I just enjoy it by being lonely. Who would be my next man? Don't know yet. With all my unsuccessfully building relationships with men I still like/love men, still have the hope for a healthy relationship. Without the “one”, my life goes on well and I still enjoy it. Again, thank you for reading this, and sharing your inputs as comments. I will write blogs sharing my thoughts with you, and may not have time to response all your comments, but I’m heartily grateful. On my calendar, June 6, 2006 is another day that I should remember. 
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Caragh, I can relate to how you feel now: tired of searching for someone whom you can share your life with, tired of possible relationship but nothing is fruitful ... I admit, the reason I started frequenting Chinese FriendFinder site was for a project that I have been working on: understanding the impact, meaning and outcome of cyberdating and how people so distant from each other interact, communicate and build that relationship ... Needless to say, I ended up being a good example of my case--I met my husband through AFF. It wasn't a miracle that we found each other because I did send out invitation to people of local. Neither was it my intention to look for any man after the failure of my first marriage. However, we chatted offline, met, dated and married within 4 months we first talked. Our similar backgrounds, same location, and interests have some contributions to our decision to spend life together. Nonetheless, his temperament, understanding and consideration helped me mature and realized I am a lucky woman. Like many other couples, our differences in culture and food preference can be rather challenging at times. However, whatever brought us together still remains strong. We support each other and talk with each other like friends when we are also lovers. When I spoke in Davinci blog that "a smile, hug ..." that a simple gesture is suffice to me, it is because I feel the love from this man. There is no need for any language as we are in sync. Our open communication and unique dialects are skills that I find important to keep things going. While asking questions can clear unneccessary misunderstanding, being honest with each other also play a crucial role as well. This marriage vow has been my motto: for better for worse, for sickness and in health, til death do us part. Therefore, hang on to your belief and hang on to your faith.
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Dear Caragh: I wouldn't classify your previous relationships as "failures". I believe they have been all valuable learning experiences to help you to your next relationship. Whether or not this one will be "the one" is not always easy to determine. I find this to be especially true at the beginning because your judgment may be clouded by being in the infatuation stage. But then again, how will you know unless you try it? Life is a continuous stage of learning experiences and loneliness is a natural feeling to have at your stage now. I felt it too at the beginning but no longer feel it now. One of the most powerful strengths you can have is actually to feel OK when being alone and not dependent on anyone. That way when the right person does comes along you will not jump into anything just because you were lonely. You can make a better decision and better judgment that way. Always keep the faith in yourself and wishing you the best, Russell
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Caragh, You are conscious of all your needs and wants. Great. There are many big things other than Love worth our attention and appreciation, (though having a love one is a happiness). You've figured it out, so go ahead and enjoy them all, may they be human or arts.
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Dont shut the door yet...When the urge to exit is there ,the feeling to return grows fonder...and I feel that you will always be here in this site to share your dailies and your absence will be a big lost to the regulars... But still the decision is yours to make...You'll know the difference of being absent and do feel free to return for the welcome salvo will always be there to greet you... Bear that in mind...pal...I wish you and the kid, the best of everything...
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Caragh, Life often throws us a curve ball when we are least expected, don't you think? No one can promise anyone a rose garden, but someone can make you feel as though you are in heaven. I am not an idealistic nor romantic person, dreams to me are formed during sleeps, not something I will depend on. I also know when I am down, frustrated, upset, or lonely, I will distract myself by doing something different, memorable. And quite frankly, moments like this actually help me realize I am still a living being. There are endless things to see, read about, enjoy and accomplish. Spending more time with your kid at the moment may be one of the best things for both of you as one day you'll look back and say to yourself I sure am glad I did it. Take courses to enrich your inner self, broaden conversation topics, volunteer for a non-profit organization ..., life is too short to concentrate on voids and regrets. Children grow up quicker than we know, isn't it what our parents would often say too? Wish to talk with you again. Take care.
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