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Mr. Passive Aggressive There is the custody court order of August and its admendment of September. My ex and his attorney refuse to follow the amended order even though it came after the original order. The order of court states that I get to take my to CCD class (Catholic class) every fourth Sunday of the month if that Sunday happens to be one in which I already have the . But the amended order states that I get them every fourth Sunday in a cycle. The Church requested I request a letter from the Judge specifying which to follow, but the Judge never wrote back. My ex has since attempted to take both . He stated that he doesn't want to make two trips for them-one for my for CCD class and one for my at 6pm. Then my ex started showing up on my fourth Sunday of the cycle, stating that he's following the court order and not the amended order. He later went to her school and attempted to take her from there. He filed comtempt charges against me. I filed a counter charges. The Judge threw out his and kept mine. I guess that means that I do get them every fourth Sunday in a cycle. But why didn't the Judge just write the letter to the school to clarify the matter. Instead he is putting my through a lot as she is afraid of her father, and now I have to prove this and that at a contempt hearing. Well, my ex again showed up this fourth Sunday in the cycle on my front porch. I told him to follow the amended order. Then I called the police to give them heads up, as he had gone to the school last time. They told me that they couldn't do anything about it until he showed at the school. But said to call when and if he did. He didn't go to the school this time or if he did I got there first. So the are downstairs now playing with the grandparents as I have them both until 6pm. I'll have to get down there soon. But I'm just thinking how he is ruining his relationship with his own by being cruel to me. My told me today that he didn't like his father anymore from what he was doing to my daugher and me. I told him, "He's still your father." The 6 year old replied, "Yeah, but I'm not gonna be like him." |
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1/15/2006 4:40 pm |
Sorry to hear that. Kids are not sophisticated enough to understand underlying reasons for what is going on, but they see the actions of the people around them. They see what is going on & how it makes them feel. I remember as a small kid when my Dad and uncle came to visit, trying to pick me & my brother up from our mother's house. They had driven out to get us, only to be told we weren't there. I heard them outside, and even though I was told to "shut up and get inside" by my mother, I poked my head out the door only to watch them angrily drive away after seeing me. I was punished for that, and still remember.
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Cinderfella, That's a shame that your mother was like that. My kids have got a father like that, sigh.
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MyDoggie, I'm so sorry to hear what your ex had put you and your kids through. Is there anyone that can talk some senses into this guy? Can you ask any close relative or friend to just talk to him and make him understand that he is actually hurting his own kids and also making his kids to dislike him. You are such a loving mom and I believe your kids will understand the situation and they will be on your side no matter what happened. Good luck...and take care. Ash
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Mydogateit, I can feel yr frustration at this situation - moreover, you worry abt the mother-father-fight would affect the kids. Actullay, it's not good for kids to take side. Act in laoszu way: to act by non-acting and minimize the effect to the little kids' hearts. But yr ex should be condemned - he's not a man. Yet this kind of narrow-chest men do exist. I can tell you my sister and the baby girl's story after divorce. If the custody is not at mother's, there w/b trouble. Pls work it in a more natural way n feel easy no matther how. Don't squeeze yourself n keep a broad mind. Good luck!
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1/18/2006 12:51 pm |
"Cinderfella, That's a shame that your mother was like that. My kids have got a father like that, sigh...." Unfortunately, my mother hasn't changed. I've talked to her once...only once...in 36 years. My father got custody of me, and I got an evil stepmother in exchange. Well, really not evil, just Jekyll/Hyde...mostly Hyde. She's gone now, going on 20 years. The x-wife took my girl, who is now 16. I see her very little, and I am NOT on speaking terms with her mother. Holy Jeebus, my fortunes will change one of these days.  Some people like us can use the luck.
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