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Lunch at Weekends He goes to her house every weekends with things used to be cooked for lunch. She is not his wife now, but was five years ago. She greets him with no special expressions on her face. And then he goes into the kitchen and prepares lunch for the family -- his ex-wife their and himself. She is in the room cleaning and washing. The little girl comes to him occasionally and says something happened in her school. They have lunch together later with a few talks now and then. She seems to have a good appetite for the weekends lunch. They got divorced five years ago. Of course they have dates with other men or women separately. But neither of them has got married again, both keep single, and the weekend lunch continues... It surprised me when I heard of this. I always have this idea in my mind that men and women can hardly keep their relationship as friends once they have broken up, especially when they got divorced. Is it strange? 
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4/23/2006 1:09 am |
This particular situation could have something to do with the circumstances behind the separation. Taking a shared responsibility for the children goes beyond the failed relationship. Many of us, myself included, don't have such a peculiar arrangement.
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Cinderfella, this is really a case amoung the few. I once asked that man when he would stop preparing the weenkend lunch, he replied that he would stop doing so when his ex-wife got married again. It is a feeling that we can hardly understand. Yes, I agree with you that Taking a shared responsibility for the children goes beyond the failed relationship.
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Some do become friends and care exist. If they can't, just bcoz they cant unload the weird thing that they call "love&hate".
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davinci, seems it is the similar case that we can see all over the world that divorces are on the rise. The man I mentioned is not the typical one. The most likely reason for them to keep contact is their kids. Marriage can be failed, but sometimes divorce may be even worse.
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swallow, it seems to me that most of them can not be friends. Yes, maybe you are right in say that bcoz they cant unload the weird thing that they call "love&hate". One question for you: can we love one person and hate the other at the same time?
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Fantasy, I cant answer you becoz i dont have hate for anybody and anything. You can say i dont appreciate sb/sth. I never load hate onto myself. Carrying love is heavy enough, if carry hate, how can we move on w/ that much weight? 
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Ppl w/ open mind, good perception of life, sense of philanthropy, thoughtfulness, for children, most of all, a big heart to contain the immerse universe of LOVE, after divorce should be able to become friends. This applies to ex-lovers after parting. A/c to nationalities, Chinese men are hard to becomes friends w/ their ex-wives after divorce, and it's merely a FACE problem. FACE is a burden Chinese loading for thousands of years. Hoohhoo... Guess it w/b easier for western divorced couples.
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Excuse my long-gas. My questions for you all to think: 1) Did there exist love when they were together? 2) When they thought they loved each other in their good times, were they even friends? I doubt. I doubt. If the answer is YES, there w/b no problem for two divorced ex's to become friends and two separated ex-lovers to become friends.
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swallow, there must be some reasons exist for men and women getting divorced. Most couples get married because of love, and get divorced because of the lack of love. Somehow, speaking is easier than action. Otherwise, we won't see so many unhappy men and women desiring for love.
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