An Elder, a Treasure
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Posted:Mar 2, 2009 12:55 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 11:28 am 11419 Views
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When my friend Esther told me there's repulsive rejection to building a rest home for the senior citizens in a Macau community, I felt it unbelievable and my feeling was hurt.
"Are they poisons? Is a rest home a nuclear plant?" I gushed to my friend, as if she was one of the rejecters. She then pushed me to develop this topic. So comes it.
Firstly, let me ask you, how would you spend your retired time? would you prefer to live with family or idle away in a rest home?
The answer may be varied, depending on your cultural background, or economic background. Many ppl, esp. Chinese ppl tried to convince others that spending life in rest homes is not as miserable as imagined. They say, come on, get rid of the outdated thinking way and keep up with time, embrace the old age years in a rest home. It's a popular concept in the West, when you get old and the younger generation has no time for you, it's nice to hang out with other elders in the well-equipped rest home. You would get good service and treatment (if you are able to pay). Much better than give burden to your or staying alone at home. You would feel healthy and happy there!
Is it true? I have no doubt that the luxury rest centers would treat you well, wishing you a long life so as to contribute to them lifelong, though I ever watched some American soup opera series that they would kill the ailing old guys in some rest homes for the sake of profit. But will you be able to lead a healthy and happy life in an elder's nursery? Think it twice or thrice before you send your parents or grandparents, as well as yourself to the rest homes.
Let's have a look and feel into the rest homes' environment, not the hardwares, but the softwares. Can you imagine an old person being alone in a room everyday, or, a group of old persons being alone in an isolated venue everyday, counting the days left? It's indeed a silver-haired community coz all they see is silver hair, clumpsy acts and gloomy mood of being old. There's no ' shouting, young ppl's laughters, the communication with is extremely limited - they only find time to visit once in a while; if they are far from the rest home, the visit is once and never a while (an audience member phoned in a radio program saying if the rest home is built in a further place like Hengqin - 30min away, they wont visit often as it's too troublesome). No interaction with the society at all, except that once in a while a school visiting or a charity function presenting some spoony shows. For elders ending up in rest homes, the real situation is : growing old and dying fast together without true love and life!
We well understand, human needs stimulus to be healthy. For men, as they said, it's big breast; for , it may be toys or games; for elders, it's the interaction with young people. (That's why Maddona looks so young and energetic, boz her bfs are ever younger and younger...) 'Imprisoning' old people in rest homes is inhumane and bad for them overall. On the other hand, without seniors around, and the young also suffer losses as they cant learn from them their precious experience. As a proverb says, an elder at home is like a treasure in hand.
All said, I object to irresponsibly putting seniors into rest homes. I suggest that elders be treated like ppl of normal age, live together (if possible) with young generation, or, at least, stay as often as possible with the young for positive interactions. Young guys and gals, you shouldn't mind living with your parents and all those trifles. Believe me and trust your dad and mom, they are indeed your treasures and great advisers in everything. So if they advise you not to marry that guy, dont do it otherwise you'd regret it.
It's also our long history virtue to respect our seniors, which distinguishes our culture from Western culture. In China, it's one's legal duty to feed and support parents in old age. I heard quite a lot stories that in today's $-driven Chinese society, many , in many cases a corrupted by a -in-law, just rip off their parents and let them become homeless and foodless. So sad, remember:
The three wants to rest but the wind keeps blowing;
The wants to fulfill his duty but the parents are not there.
Love your elder and treasure them in proper way!
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Evolvement of Chinese Beauty
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Posted:Feb 20, 2009 10:32 pm
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2011 2:29 am 16525 Views
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I am surprised by the image in the mirror these days: the butt is growing horizontally, the belly stretching out, and unwanted meat belts around the waist...due to lack of exercise these days, or natural development of a mid-age body?
Then I came across below article, intersting, just to share with you. Irrespective what's the current standard, I am pitifully out of the scope of beauty! Watch out!!
--------quoted fm a friend's email, source unknown----
A little time in China will give you the correct impression that what's beautiful to the western eye isn't necessarily so to the Chinese, and vice versa. It's to be expected. After all, western men and women can't agree on who's beautiful. There are those female icons whom only women are attracted to, ala Julia Roberts, and objects of male fantasy, ala Pam Anderson (circa '93), who never fail to draw the criticism of any woman with an ounce of respect for her gender.
Then there's the fact that concepts of beauty change with the times. The standards of feminine beauty have morphed with the ages, and have as much to say about the admirers as the admired.
More than a few antiquated scholars took time off from chronicling dynastic intrigue to describe what constituted true hotness. Confucian strictures and the absence of Maxim made the world a much more innocent place. For the ancient Chinese, as for the readers of Women's Health & Beauty, smooth skin, a slim and delicate shape, shining eyes, and pearly white teeth were all a woman needed to be the village babe. The most widely-quoted description of classic beauty can be found in Shuo Ren, the 57th poem in The Book of Odes:
Her fingers were like the blades of the young white-grass ;
Her skin was like congealed ointment ;
Her neck was like the tree-grub ;
Her teeth were like melon seeds ;
Her forehead cicada-like ; her eyebrows like silkworm antenne;
What dimples , as she artfully smiled !
How lovely her eyes, with the black and white so well defined !
Soon enough, however, a woman needed more than an insectile neck, forehead and eyebrows to win admiration. By the Han Dynasty, a dancing component was required of any woman who wanted to think of herself as truly attractive. Han empress Zhao Feiyan had little of the strong moral sense and virtue expected of a royal. In fact, she was famous for prurient misdeeds, like smiling without covering her mouth, giving all and sundry a gander at her melon-seed teeth.
She made up for such sluttiness with unparalleled skill at the Zhangzhong Wu, or Palm Dance, performed on a crystal plate held by two attendant maidens. Needless to say, the empress must have had a physique tiny enough to shame a gold-medal gymnast. Zhao's -like form impressed Emperor Cheng enough to make royalty of her.
On the other end of the scale stands Tang Dynasty beauty Yang Guifei, aka Yang Yuhuan. A towering (for Tang times) 1.64 meters, a thundering 69 kilos, Yang burst with the kind of proportions that make men drool and make women carp "you should lose some weight". Yang was one of the four legendary ancient Chinese beauties, and contemporaneous poets declared that flowers wilted when she passed by, in deference to her comeliness . A poem describing her love affair with Emperor Xuanzong, Chang Hen Ge, A Song of Unending Sorrow, proves that beauty by no means protects from life's slings and arrows.
Revolutions in turn foment revolutionary perspectives, and China's standards of beauty were turned on their head after the founding of the PRC. Any signs of being a fading lily, whether slender or full-bodied, were counter-revolutionary and to be ruthlessly suppressed. How could a woman concerned with keeping her fingers like blades of grass and her teeth whiter than melon seeds help build a proletarian paradise?
Chinese women from Shanghai to Shangri-la were enchanted. Here was their chance to be as masculine as the folks who had been waving around manhood as the prime virtue, and the prime reason why a woman was essentially a slave. Health and strength became most desirable in a prospective wife. Naturally, any indication of peasant stock was a plus, leading to the trend in ruddy cheeks and stout wrists and ankles. A lucky thing, as that was about all men got to see under the baggy military uniforms their female cadres sported en masse.
China's much over-referenced Opening Up led to a quick erosion of socialist commitment, and its concomitant aesthetics. The West, as one may well guess, was the prime influencer of Chinese fashion in the eighties and nineties. The still jeri-curled heads of many late thirty to forty-somethings have their roots in Jacksonmania, which penetrated to the very heart of theChinese hinterland.
As we rocket into the age of anonymous internet relationships, gender neutral has become the rage, and feminine appeal means always leaving them guessing. Li Yuchun, androgyne extraordinaire and winner of Supergirl 2006, still pulls serious numbers on Chinese internet beauty polls. Most of those voters are probably female, though. Forget East and West. When it comes to describing the perfect female, he is he, she is she, and never shall the twain agree.
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Unconditional Love
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Posted:Feb 1, 2009 10:21 pm
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2011 2:30 am 14897 Views
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Can you love someone unconditionally, without thinking and wanting any repay?
I only know,
Yes, she can, they can.
And nobody can beat them down.
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And I begin to doubt,
conditional love,
is it true love?
or a drag&pull game?
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Headached by China Rush
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Posted:Jan 24, 2009 3:25 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2011 2:32 am 17708 Views
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It's getting cold (10oc) just two days b4 Chinese New Year (CNY).
But this never hampers the China Rush and Chinese enthusiasm for speed and rush. Everywhere is 'people mountain people sea' (literal translation for ren san ren hai). And 'goods circulate like wheels' (huo ru lun zhuan). And 'exuberant voices and happy laughters'huang sheng xiao yu.
Rush, rush, rush...rush in the shopping malls, streets, workplaces, train/bus stations, airports, residential areas, homes...Oops!
Run, run, run...doing things in such a hurry!
Damn it economic meltdown. Not a bit of sign here in this rush!
But the rush and high speed is tiring and headacheing. I feel it, Doro feel it, many ppl feel it. Some poor guys/gals even need to pack jobs home to work during the once and for all CNY holiday.
What's the price for this China Rush? We no longer have a relaxing life like 20years ago. We are more like a slave. Some Europeans who live by normal pace and in quiet peaceful places, like NAM, only the noise wave will hit them down, not to say the throves and throves of crowd that push you ahead in full gear. But if you dont move, you'll get stomped on; if you dont, you'll never get a place. Be it in a public space, in a Immigration hall, restaurant, casino, bar, disco...even in a workplace, or any establishment that you may not imagine.
I feel so tired, every day looks like a rush! And my great respect to those Chinese housewives who manage well the houses(two+, mother's and husband's), the families(many) and everything well without saying a word.
Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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a Belated Happy New Year and About Forgiveness
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Posted:Jan 7, 2009 6:15 am
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2009 8:06 pm 14366 Views
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Hey friends.
Happy New Year and my best belated wishes for you all in 2009. Wish you could get whatever your heart desire!
We have surmounted two years. What's dwelling on your mind?
These days for me is forgiveness...
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Story 1: I am stolen three times by a same guy in the office, how can I forgive him?
Yes. 1st time, a new Nokia phone, two years ago. He stole from my desktop. 2nd, HKD2000 fm my wallet in my handbag, which i put underneath my desk in last Sept.. 3rd, my whole new Oakley wallet (w/ credit cards and ID cards in) from my handbag put in the same position. (After the 2nd theft, I took cautions and carrying w/ a little chest-bag w/ me all the time, there's only HKD150 inside.)
I was really igitated after the 3rd theft. The guy is a cheap spirit (as called by another gal. Why he always steals on me? Repeatedly? They say because you are so casual w/ your belongings. You should lock your stuff. Is it my fault? What I really hate is the repeatedness and the ruthlessness, even ripping me away my ID Card!
I verified already it's that guy. After the 3rd theft, I dont wanna say a word w/ him. I wanna pay someone to give him a good beat to revenge!!!!! After a while, he tried to talk or flatter me, I still haven't said a word. 'I felt shamed about you. I dont want to speak w/ you!' Even in a moment when he tried to congratulate me for my acccomplishment, I didnt react as I haven't forgiven him! I still need find someone to teach him a lesson.
How easy to commit crime and do bad deeds and how hard to forgive>
Story 2
My friend was cheated away for all his life saving. Almost half a million HKD by some African guys. Since then, he lost hope and became paranoid w/ Africans. (sorry for that!) He even wanted to kill the one/two guys if chance given. Before I persuaded him, now I understand how the flame is inside and how difficult to forget trauma and forgive, especially when it's a hard stroke.
Story 3
TBC
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Body traveller vs body banger
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Posted:Nov 23, 2008 10:58 pm
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2008 2:41 am 14718 Views
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The girl, a siks worker fm China mainland, shrugged at the researcher's question, in a Macau small inn.
"We are free ... travellers, we travel to everywhere...Maylaysia, Singapore, Indonesia...we are nothing special..."
My friend, a married woman, gasped at the Chinese bold actions to her husband in a discreet bar,
"They treated like I was not there, they condomed up my guy, banging their gorgeous bodies to him...I never experienced this before...They are normal girls with decent jobs...In the times we hanged out with you and gfs in the good old nights, we never did that and see that..."
Is it a female liberation gearing up within Chinese women? I prompted.
"Nooop, it's sooo cheap!" the guy being banged replied!
Theese days I keep thinking about women's role vs men's in today. Then I found "I want to find a wife" - a song written by a Chinese male farmer who remains single for not being competitive in the marriage market.
MMMh...
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How much experiences suffice? How many women/men are enough for you?
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Posted:Nov 21, 2008 8:29 pm
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2009 8:06 pm 15911 Views
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In the old times, our grandparents stayed young and old with their first, last and only companion/love until death.
It's a traditional cherish and classic life aesthetic: "let me take your hands and grow old with thee. "
Last night, when asked "did you ever love someone?" the 79 year old man affirmed with shine, "yes, I had loved".
-"How many?"
-"one." still with assurance.
-"Did you marry her?"
-"yes, she's my wife."
-"are you still together."
-"yeah!" very assured.
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Nowadays, we must have many different experiences. One mainstream Chinese women's view is:
Man should have several experiences with different women, especially an excellent man, he should not be confined to one woman. His creativity must be flared up by different experiences.
It sounds conservative and submissive and smells old-fashioned. Fact is, many Chinese women keep eyes shut to boyfriends'/husbands' affairs if the guys know to return home.
They know to come back to the house, this is the basic rule.
How about we women?
-TBC-
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How Far Is Happiness
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Posted:Nov 21, 2008 2:12 am
Last Updated:Dec 18, 2008 2:10 pm 13001 Views
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How far is happiness?
And how long? how big?
Do you ever think about this?
How far can you go carrying your happiness?
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Apart from reading cele's and great men/women's biographies, will you write up your own biography?
Apart from penning your will not long before you land on another world, will you leave your fortune or leagacy to your , or a fund if you are rich enough, while you are healthy and young?
Apart from setting off a long journey to experience erotism, do you ever notice there are many worthwhile monuments and moments and people right next to you, waiting your approach, conversation and discovery?
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Hooked by Taste
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Posted:Oct 17, 2008 7:52 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2008 7:28 pm 13793 Views
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A girl is pondering to dump her lover for some days.
This morning she is given a curry beef Italian noodle as a breakfast by a friend. Savoring the greenish breakfast, she wows. Then she decides she can't dump the guy, just for his great curry cuisines, so colorful, red, yellow, green. So delightful to the nose, aromatics of nature. So excited to the palate. So much story from its producing land, Morocco, India, Pakistan, Turkey...
Dumping him would mean the loss of all these. So she's hooked by the lustful taste.
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Telling this, I'd like to draw your attention to the law of attraction. Actually, what attracts us in a person?
(I am feeling I am copying DVC's old tunes Those things in him or offered by him that can amuse you, or, in another word, that can benefit you.
It may be distracted for such romantics like Sccip. The so-called love or marriage is but an exchange of interest and mutual benefit. It's as simple as a business. You buy, he sells. When the 'interest' expires, or, it does NOT render such meaning(advantage) as that you enjoyed before, you will shop around to look for something of same or greater benefit to renew it.
....
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From the Clash
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Posted:Oct 17, 2008 7:36 pm
Last Updated:Oct 23, 2008 6:48 pm 12705 Views
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Last night on top of the 19th century fortress, moon shedding light on the highrises-crowded small city, a cool whistle of wind brushes this out of place conversation.
Yes, on such a melting night the topic is the economy recession, noo, economy clash.
The young girl views that Gold is the most trustworthy and safe currency. The more experienced man excuses that he's not worrying at all as he has little of anything. But he highlights the terror of money and stocks' depreciation and devaluation. I am mute, maybe in clashing time, good to buy property. Meanwhile, I am regretting greatly the shares i bought in the afternoon.
Cooling, cooling off, the night, the wind, the ink-like sky, the cannon that is politically wrong being targetting at the direction of China.
If it really clashes, what is still valuable? while everything is battered?
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