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Naughty Mrs. Clause 12/8/2006
Cheesy Joke:
Q: What did Santa say when he caught Mrs. Claus in bed with
a couple of elves?
A: Ho Ho Ho
Please contact the joke police to report intolerable
"cheesiness." 
1 Comments, 51 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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CORPORATE MEMO 12/7/2006
To: All Staff
Date: December 1
Subject: New "Twelve Days of Christmas" Policy
The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen
have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package
has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they
will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions
at the North Pole.
Streamlining is ...
2 Comments, 50 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Love VS. Marriage 11/28/2006
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener....
5 Comments, 122 Views,
15 Votes
,4.05 Score
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Confession 11/28/2006
Confession is good for the soul,
but bad for your career....
4 Comments, 85 Views,
10 Votes
,2.79 Score
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20 Years In Jail 11/28/2006
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband
was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs.
He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in
front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring
at the wall.
She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter dear? Why are you down ...
12 Comments, 476 Views,
22 Votes
,6.73 Score
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The Race 11/28/2006
Horses Racing Today....
1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Smooth Thighs
8. Big Johnson
9. Heavy Bosom
10. Merry Cherry
Place Your Bets.
And they're off!
Conscience is left behind at the post.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off ...
0 Comments, 60 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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Aliens.!!! 11/22/2006
What's E.T. short for.?????
Cos he's only got little legs.!
0 Comments, 46 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Indian Visits House 11/16/2006
An Indian walks into a house and throws a bag of money
on the counter and says, "me want pussy."
The woman working the counter decides that she wants to
have a little fun with him, and tells him that he must first
fu[kcq]k the big oak tree on the hill.
The Indian replies, "me no want tree, me want pussy."
"Sorry, " the lady replies, "those are
the rules." The Indian goes up ...
0 Comments, 159 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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what is a sellfish people 11/12/2006
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-..people who doest not think about me!
1 Comments, 34 Views,
4 Votes
,0.14 Score
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Sunburned! 11/9/2006
A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets
horrible sunburn. He goes to the hospital and is promptly
admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burns.
He was already starting to blister and in agony. The doctor
prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline
and electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four
hours.
The nurse, rather astounded, ...
3 Comments, 102 Views,
11 Votes
,3.73 Score
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computers 11/7/2006
Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive
virus by
simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." Viruses cause
temperatures in
computers, just like they do in humans. After a while, smoke
billows out of disk drives and monitors.
0 Comments, 19 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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The big game hunter. 11/5/2006
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone
about his hunting skills.
The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute
that.
But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would
recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he
could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what
caliber the bullet was that killed the animal. ...
2 Comments, 66 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score
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The old lady and the bank president. 11/5/2006
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning
with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account
and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because,
she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the
is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the
president's office.
The president of the ...
2 Comments, 72 Views,
10 Votes
,3.19 Score
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The old lady and the bank president. 11/5/2006
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning
with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account
and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because,
she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the
is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the
president's office.
The president of the ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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The Diet 11/5/2006
An extremely obese woman shows up at her doctor's office
crying and claims that she has tried every possible way
to lose weight, all to no avail. She continues to sob,
"My husband won't make love to me any more. My
friends make fun of me. Everywhere I go they tease me. I just
can't take it any more!"
The doctor, hoping to help her, proposes a radical diet, ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Abbott and Costello Discover Computers 11/5/2006
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello,
and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate
this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our
computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello
were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's
on First?" might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
...
0 Comments, 22 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Let me apologize, 10/28/2006
Let me apologize,
I am a hot headed egocentric fool much of the time acting
far to quickly in anger with far too little information..
I want to apologize to SP33DY2 for my insulting remarks
about his postings in this magazine. He is a very intelligent
man with a kind and forgiving heart, fortunately for me.
He could write some very powerful articles in French but
not in English. ...
0 Comments, 26 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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This is crazy to me… And I am angry about it 10/28/2006
This is crazy to me… And I am angry about it
There is a man on this site who posted 10 articles saying
nothing but “Hello I’m Here”. He has a new article out now
that says, “Maybe” and that is it. Now he holds the rank of
3 most contributing writer in this online magazine. I am
outraged by this because there are many serious writers
here ...
1 Comments, 26 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
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en français 10/27/2006
Un condamné à mort s'évade d'un pénitencier où
il était reclus depuis 15 ans. Dans sa fuite, il arrive près
d'une maison. Il y pénètre à la recherche d'argent
et d'armes. Il trouve un couple au lit. Il vire le
gars du lit et l'attache sur une chaise. Puis, pendant
qu'il attache la fille aux montants du lit, il en profite
pour l' embrasser dans le cou. Il se rend ensuite dans
la ...
0 Comments, 5 Views,
0 Votes
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hello 10/27/2006
i'm here
1 Comments, 25 Views,
2 Votes
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Blonde jokes ...... OMG too funny!!! 10/25/2006
BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........
and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think
is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says, "Hellooooo, can
you see Florida...?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works ...
2 Comments, 69 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score
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I won't sleep with you tonight! 10/20/2006
A guy goes to a bar. At the other end he sees a pretty woman.
He is so shy that he need an hour gathering up his courage
to go over her and asks, "Would you mind if I chatted
with you?" She suddenly yells to the top of her voice,
"No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" All
people there are staring at them. The guy is completely
embarrassed. A couple of minutes after he sit back to his
table, ...
4 Comments, 284 Views,
25 Votes
,4.68 Score
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Relationship 10/19/2006
A RELATIONSHIP that grows from
mutual Love and Respect, Kindness, Understanding and
Compassion is strong enough to last a lifetime.
-Knightmate
The Perfect Relationship
is more then finding the right person.
It's BEING the right person.
-Knightmate
0 Comments, 21 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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The gift 10/15/2006
A man asks his wife what she would like for her birthady.
Whould you like a diamond ?
No I don't need any more diamons.
Would you like a yacht ?
No I get sea sick.
How about I buy you a jet ?
No I get air sick.
What do you want ?
I want a divorce -
Hell replied the man. I wasn't plannning on spending
that much.
0 Comments, 55 Views,
7 Votes
,3.04 Score
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Faith Healing 10/12/2006
An old couple, were sitting in their living room on a Sunday
morning watching a religious program. The preacher on
this show would go to all the people in the audience and asking
them what they wanted fixed, then he would have them cover
the part of their body they wanted fixed. Many of the people
were elderly so they were covering their eyes and hearts.
Then the preacher said "Ok now for ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
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Air Love 10/7/2006
What can we do during a twenty-six hours flight ?
0 Comments, 36 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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Dogs letters to God 9/30/2006
Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell
one another?
Dear God,
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the
same old story?
Dear God,
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not
ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around?
We ...
0 Comments, 33 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
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When flirting becomes too personal ! 9/24/2006
What is the difference between flirting
and hitting on someone.
Flirting is like dancing around the subject.
Hitting is like stepping on its toes. In other words, you're
hitting on a woman until she flirts back. Flirting has to
go two ways. A woman has to realize what you're doing
and give you the raised eyebrow and welcoming ...
0 Comments, 31 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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here is a nasty bar drink 9/24/2006
this is a true story but funny. me and a friend were in a bar
a couple of weeks ago and he wanted a shot of tequila. so the
bartender says to my friend take it like a man, and we say
what. then he says instead of licking the salt snort it,
instead of sqeezing the lemon into the drink sqeeze it into
your eye, then drink the shot. i say no way but my friend goes
sure why not. he does it ...
1 Comments, 76 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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The Angry Preacher 9/21/2006
The preacher rose with a red face. "Someone in this
congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K.
This is a horrible lie! A God fearing decent Christian community
cannot tolerate such slander. I am embarrassed and will
not accept this. Now I want the individual who did this to
stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family!'
No one moved. The preacher continued, ...
0 Comments, 32 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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