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LoVe DeTeCtIve 2/3/2006
A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired
a famous chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch
and report any activities that might develop. A few days
later, he recieved this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house.
He come house.
I watch.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb ...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
6 Votes
,5.07 Score
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OnE aND a HalF FoOt 2/3/2006
On their wedding night, Young Dianne says to new hubby,
If you don't remove your socks, I am not getting in bed
at all.
Hubby is determined not to remove the socks. Dianne argues
he is perhaps kinky!
Hubby eventually gives in, all right he says, I have hid
this from you all through our courting days though. Look!
Removing the socks, one foot is only half there!
I lost it during an ...
0 Comments, 69 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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UnFaIthFul 2/3/2006
Arriving home early from work one day. I heard the wife moaning
upstairs. She must be on the toilet I thought to myself!
Getting up the stairs myself, turned out, she was only in
bed with my best friend, my Next door neighbour, I was shocked,
stunned flabberghasted, choking and stuttering, I cried
out to him How could you, I can't comprehend, don't
understand! I mean I have to, you don't!
...
0 Comments, 69 Views,
0 Votes
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TIME FOR M A R R I A G E 2/3/2006
Victor and Leah were an elderly couple who had been dating
for some time. One day, they decided it was finally time
to get married. But first, they needed to discuss how their
marriage might work. They talked about finances, living
arrangements, health and finally, their conjugal relationship.
"How do you feel about sex?" Victor asked Leah,
with a smile on his face.
"Oh, I like to ...
0 Comments, 66 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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elderly LOVE 2/3/2006
As soon as Ruth hears that her 99year old grandfather has
died, she goes to see her 95year old grandmother to comfort
her.
"Oh Booba, I’m so sorry. How did Zeida die?"
"He had a heart attack on Sunday morning while we were
making love." "But Booba, " says Ruth, "You were both
nearly 100 years old. Didn’t you realise that having sex
would be asking for trouble?" "Many ...
0 Comments, 63 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Visit a PSYCHIATRIST 2/3/2006
Sidney goes to see his psychiatrist. As soon as he lies down
on the couch, he says, “I needed to have this appointment
because I’m sure I’m gay.”
Doctor Myers says, “And what, please tell me, makes you
think you’re gay?”
“Well, ” says Sidney, “my father Hershel was gay and so
was my grandfather.”
“So ...
0 Comments, 63 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Modern DRESS sense... 2/3/2006
Rebecca is 15 years old and tonight she has a date. When she
finishes dressing, she comes downstairs and shocks her
Booba because Rebecca is wearing a see-through blouse
and she’s clearly not wearing anything underneath it.
Her Booba shouts at her and tells her she mustn’t go out un-dressed
like that. She looks like a tart.
But Rebecca walks out the door anyway, saying, ...
0 Comments, 69 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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RULES in handling your...P^^^^ 2/3/2006
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
<br>
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw,
it is not standard practice to come on someone's face.
<br>
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
<br>
5. My ears are NOT handles.
<br>
6. Extension to rule #5 - do ...
1 Comments, 137 Views,
11 Votes
,2.98 Score
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MUST ***The Stages of Life*** READ 1/25/2006
THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE DRINK
17 beer
25 beer
35 vodka
48 double vodka
66 Maalox
SEDUCTION LINE
17 My parents are away for the weekend.
25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35 My fiancee is ...
0 Comments, 204 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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Pretending to be married 1/18/2006
Pretending to be Married
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves
assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental
train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing
a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly...he
in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, ...
0 Comments, 928 Views,
96 Votes
,4.75 Score
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Don't Ask Grandma 12/15/2005
Little Jordan was staying with his Grandmother for a few
days. He'd been playing outside with some of the neighborhood
for a while when he came into the house and asked
her, "Grandma, what is it called when people sleep
on top of each other?"
<br>
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the
truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
Then she explained all ...
0 Comments, 210 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN 11/2/2005
* Wine her,
* Dine her,
* Call her,
* Hug her,
* Support her,
* Hold her,
* Surprise her,
* Compliment her,
* Smile at her,
* Listen to her,
* Laugh with her,
* Cry with her,
* Romance her,
* Encourage her,
* Believe in her,
* Pray with her,
* Pray for her,
* Cuddle with her,
* Shop with her,
* Give her jewelry,
* Buy her flowers,
* Hold her hand,
* ...
0 Comments, 343 Views,
26 Votes
,3.89 Score
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Men are from Mars, Women are from out west 11/2/2005
A woman is driving at night on a narrow country road. At the
same time a man is driving in the opposite direction on that
same road.
<br>
When they narrowly pass each other at high speed, the woman
rolls down her window and shouts - ! Immediately the
man shouts back - BITCH!
<br>
The man laughs. He is proud to have reacted so quickly to
the shouting woman and takes the ...
0 Comments, 207 Views,
12 Votes
,3.33 Score
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the happiest guy 9/12/2005
Two men were chatting inside a room. Then Mr A came in with
a happy face. One of the men asked, ' how come he is so
happy?'. Replied: He just found a girl friend. Mr B
came in with a happier face. One of the men asked, 'How
come he is so happy?'. Replied: He just got married.
Finally Mr C came in with the happiest face. One of the men
asked, ' How come he is so happy?'. Replied: He
just ...
0 Comments, 240 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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What are you going to do if the guy is playing with you?? 8/31/2005
Most of the girls falling in love so fast with a guy, but the
guy doesn't feel that way, they just want to play around
you. Seem's like they doesn't care if you like
him or not. However, they will talk to you or call you only
when they need you and when they got bored. What kind of guy
is this?
3 Comments, 419 Views,
17 Votes
,3.97 Score
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Trust A Friend 8/28/2005
A man leaves home to go fight in the Crusades and decides
that his wife should wear a chastity belt in his absence.
So he locks her up and gives the key to his best friend.
He tells him, "If I'm not back in four years, unlock
my wife and set her free to live a normal life."
<br>
The husband leaves on horseback and about half an hour later,
he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He ...
0 Comments, 253 Views,
9 Votes
,4.07 Score
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What Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman 8/28/2005
If your wife or girlfriend is pregnant, you might want to
avoid saying these:
"Sure you'll get your figure back. We'll
just search 1985 to see where you left it."
<br>
"How come you're so much fatter than the other
chicks in Lamaze?"
<br>
"What's the big deal? If you can handle 'me'
going in, surely you can handle a baby coming out."
<br>
"Hey, when ...
0 Comments, 291 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Washing The Clothes 8/28/2005
John and Claire are newly married. They are still a little
shy about doing the wild thing, so they decide to just refer
to it as "washing the clothes." One night, Claire
invites some of her friends over for dinner, but John is
really horny and doesn't want to have to entertain
their guests.
So, as Claire is serving the main course, he whispers in
her ear, "Let's go wash the clothes." ...
0 Comments, 304 Views,
9 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Love Potion 8/28/2005
A guy goes to a pharmacist and says, "Listen, these
two girls are coming to my place for the weekend and they
are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going
all night? It's going to be one hell of a party."
The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an
old dusty bottle and says, "This stuff is very potent.
Drink only one ounce of it and I guarantee that you will be ...
0 Comments, 342 Views,
13 Votes
,4.32 Score
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"Old" Is When... 8/19/2005
I got this funny article  wanna share it with you lolz.
<br>
Your woman says, "Let's go upstairs and make
love, " and you answer, "Honey, I can't
do both!"
<br>
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot.
<br>
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens
the garage door.
<br>
You don't care where your ...
3 Comments, 181 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Oh Baby! 8/19/2005
A sexy housewife was built so well that the TV repairman
couldn't take his eyes off of her. Every time she came
in the room, he'd just about jerk his neck right out
of joint looking at her.
When he finished, she paid him and said, "I'm
going to make a... well... an unusual request. But first,
you have to promise me that you'll keep it a secret."
<br>
The repairman quickly agreed ...
0 Comments, 153 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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Nervous Groom 8/19/2005
The best man explained exactly what to do, but the groom
still lacked confidence, so he asked the best man to wait
outside the hotel's bridal suite and prompt him if
he got into trouble. The best man agreed.
When the bride and groom were in the bridal suite, the groom
decided to get changed in the bathroom first, but got so
nervous he couldn't bring himself to come out. His
bride knew he ...
0 Comments, 165 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Why men lies 8/19/2005
One day a woodcutter was cutting a branch when his axe slipped
and fell into the river below. He fell on his knees and prayed
and the Lord appeared.
"Why are you crying?", the Lord asked. The woodcutter
replied that his axe had fallen into water.
<br>
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden
axe. "Is this your axe?", he asked.
<br>
"No", The ...
2 Comments, 258 Views,
7 Votes
,4.31 Score
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High and Low Voice 8/13/2005
"Can you explain to me what the difference is between
a high-pitched and low-pitched voice?"
"A high-pitched voice is when my father scold me;A
low-pitched voice is when my father speaks with his boss."
0 Comments, 167 Views,
0 Votes
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Mask 8/13/2005
Jim: My aunt was very embarrassed when she was asked to take
offf her mask at the party.
Mary:Why was that?
Jim :She wasn't wearing one.
0 Comments, 201 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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Essay 8/13/2005
A teacher had assigned his class an essay entitled "A
Game of Cricket", After two minutes Simon Steel
handed in his paper and was allowed to go home.
His essay read:"Rain stopped play."
0 Comments, 91 Views,
0 Votes
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Supper 8/13/2005
"How wa the dinner yesterday?"
"If the soup was as hot as the wine , the wine as old
as the chicken , the chicken as fat as the hostess , we would
have had a good time."
0 Comments, 193 Views,
0 Votes
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Funny jokes (relationship) 8/5/2005
Your woman says, "Let's go upstairs and make
love, " and you answer, "Honey, I can't
do both!"
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot.
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens
the garage door.
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long
as you don't have to go along.
You are cautioned to slow ...
0 Comments, 179 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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Yet another wife joke 7/19/2005
Man driving his car, sees the flashing lights in the rear
vision mirror, in a moment of poor judgement he decides
to try and race off to avoid being stopped by the policeman.
After several minutes of rather quick driving he comes
to his senses realizing that he cannot and should not out
run the policeman, so he stops the car and waits for the policeman
with his heart racing very fast as he ...
0 Comments, 348 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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joke 7/15/2005
A couple, both born the same year and month, were celebrating
their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy
appeared and said that because they had been so loving she
would grant them each one wish.
<br>
Very excited, the wife said that since she had already visited
most of North America in her RV she would like to visit Europe.
The fairy waved her magic wand; airline ...
0 Comments, 302 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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