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What is most common in long-term relationships? It seems that more often couples that share their core values and beliefs last forever. These would fall under the following categories: Core values: 1) Attitude to raising and to discipline 2) The division of domestic chores and responsibilities 3) Finances – what, where, and how money is spent 4) Cleanliness and living standards 5) Social and family – involvement, activities and frequency 6) Sex and intimacy – who needs what and will it be given? 7) The environment and its protection Core beliefs: 1) Spiritual and religious 2) Ethical and moral 3) Political and cultural What do you think? Would you discuss these issues with a prospective husband/wife before taking a definite commitment or would you prefer to leave things come "more naturally"? Cheers Roberto |
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I'd talk about all of it as general conversational items. I don't want to change the mate, I want to understand them. It's not likely we will see all of anything the exact same, but that does not mean we can't work together and grow and learn from, with and through each other... the whole point of relating is to learn, to grow and, share together.
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At the beginning of a relationship everything is nice. And love has mainly those two phases: the foolish "falling in love" of the first 1.5 - 2 years, and the sweet, caring "simply" love of the years after. In my case, I'm not good to look deep in the personality of other people and identify whether conflict could arise. Sometimes I'm afraid that the sweet hugs of today might become something much less sweet in the future. This insecurity takes me to try to discuss those issues although I acknowledge, as Jennipher says, that some of these should come in a natural way - everything is nicer if it comes in a natural way, but is it realistic for all people? Beyondfantasy, understanding is very important, yes, but what can one understand in the level of cleanliness? I definitely like to try to understand among other reasons because understanding is incompatible with judging, and I don't like to judge the others nor to be judged. Thanks for your opinions
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