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Matchmaking and the Mail Order Bride... I first heard the term Mail Order Bride when I was a and it had a negative connotation... as though something was wrong with the person who had to resort to shop for one. Maybe it was the extreme situation where a guy was contracted to work for a company in a foreign country for extended operations. He selected his future wife from a catalog! When did Matchmaking start? I say probably near the dawn of mankind. It's in all cultures and all parts of the world and all levels of society. I could envision two farmers meet up at an auction and become friends. One says to the other "My needs a wife... I hear you have a young . Let's throw a party and have them meet." Maybe the father is reluctant to give away his so the other farmer offers a few steers from his herd! That would mean arranged marriages started centuries ago especially where royalty 'kept the wealth' amongst themselves and a poor boy had no chance to win the hand of a princess. 20+ years ago I was dating a Chinese woman who asked me to marry her. One of the questions was "How much dowry to you plan to give my father?" At that point, I realized financial stability had overruled love! She married the highest bidder, a CEO of a strong national business who often entertained her parents and family. Although she really claimed to love me, I didn't pass the financial evaluation. Did professional Matchmaking decline with the age of internet and online dating? Those with a computer didn't need the help of a professional, they could do the research by themselves. Successful if there aren't any language barriers. Extending across an ocean, I found there are several websites where matchmaking in China appears to be alive. Let's face it, if the woman doesn't speak English, she has an extremely difficult time meeting Western men. Some professional matchmakers are directly linked to Asian based sites where they show photos of the translators, and promote their business directly on the website. There is assurance (so they say) dealing with them, the woman you select is a and her statistics have been verified. there is no deception. You know the e-mails are coming from a translation service. Hopefully, if the relationship blossoms, the matchmaker will provide the necessary services to assist the man to travel to China and meet the woman... and pay the matchmaker's fee. However, I have seen them operate on subterfuge on regular dating sites. You may think the woman with 4 or 5 perfect photos and a perfectly written introduction is coming online to read her e-mail when in truth, it's her matchmaker. This is against the rules on many dating sites and profiles reported for doing this will be closed. I understand that rule perfectly. The matchmaker is profiting from the use of a free dating site. What I see is they are running a business of deception right from the beginning. Going to a site run by professional matchmakers is one thing, but going to another site and thinking the woman you are corresponding with isn't, is just wrong. That's my blog for today. Comments are welcomed. |
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First marriage. She was around 40, came from Hong Kong many years before. College degree in the US, sold real estate, parents retired and relocated to the US a few years earlier. Large family who all lives within a few miles of each other. Years later, I had heard (from a reliable source) she was unhappily married living in a mansion near the Hollywood waterway and had boyfriends on the side.
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I don't ever see me paying any dowry. If I want to buy a woman, I can do so , by the hour, or by the day. I don't get the idea of why a family thinks someone should pay them to marry their daughter. that's as close to being a form of P-mping, or they are treating her as if she is a commodity raised to be sold to enrich the family. It's not my kind of thing. But, so goes the world...
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