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What’s Love Got To Do With It? As the Tina Turner classic says, love sometimes seems like a second hand emotion, especially in on-line dating. I’ve been a member of this site since April or May of last year and my membership is soon to expire. I’m tempted to let it run out. I have conversed with a few nice people online but generally we were not right for one-another, usually because of my desire not to have . Mostly I have run into one scam artist after another, however and it becomes tiresome being bothered by them. Mostly though, I am just disillusioned. It seems the vast majority of women on on-line dating, even American women, are looking for some man to provide a better life for them, and love, well, it really is treated as second hand to the desire to improve one’s political or financial status. I’ve made no illusions about my financial means to the women I have spoken with. While I am not poor, neither am I rich. I live in California just north of San Francisco in Marin County which (from an Asian perspective) is probably as expensive as living in Beijing, Tokyo or Hong Kong. It’s expensive. Half of my take home pay goes to just paying rent. I’ve also made it clear that while I can afford to help bring someone here to the States, and support the two of us for a time while she adjusts to the culture shock and perhaps become acclimated to the society and maybe take some classes, that I could not support the two of us indefinitely. She would eventually have to work. Too often, it seems that many of the women on dating sites are looking for a “traditional” life-style. And in Asian cultures, that means the man works and pays for everything while the woman stays at home and manages the household. There is certainly nothing wrong with that if that is what the man wants and can afford to do so and what the woman wants as well. I can even hear in my head the voice of one member who often posts to the Magazine section that this sort of arrangement is expected and understood and if a man can’t afford to provide everything for a woman, he has no business being with one. So, what does love have to do with it? I certainly appreciate that a woman in a different country is giving up everything to come to a foreign land to be with a man. She is giving up everything familiar, secure and comforting. All she has is the man in her life to take care of her and provide for her, and hopefully be a good human being on top of it. The last woman I dated over a year ago whom was introduced to me by a friend, fell squarely into the latter category. It became clear to me rather quickly that she was not really attracted to me, but was willing to be with me and even marry me all to better her position in life. By her own admission, she was trying to “learn to like me and love me”. And while she was willing to work and wanted to work, she also wanted me to send a little money to her every month to help her with her bills. That was the traditional approach in her mind. I would be the providing male and she would be the dutiful and comforting wife and homemaker. What does love have to do with it? The relationship ended about as quickly as it began. To me, this arrangement was too much like trying to buy someone’s love and affections. If I wanted a , I would hire one. What I want is a woman who loves me, regardless of what I can or can’t provide to her. I have to admit, the older I get, the more decades I spend alone, the more naive and unrealistic this seems. I often wonder how many marriages and cohabitations out there are based more on a desire to not be alone and have a better economic livelihood, than on love and mutual affection and attraction. No, love doesn’t conquer all, but it certainly helps the years pass more pleasantly and happily for each partner. Given a choice I would prefer love over simple tolerance; genuine affection over politeness; desire over accommodation. Read any of the profiles out there and one comes across lists of what their potential mate must have for the person to be considered worthy of attention. Often, catch phrases such as “highly educated” or “financially stable” or “generous” are nothing more than poorly concealed attempts at saying they want the man to be wealthy enough to provide a comfortable life for them. money and economics have supplanted the gods and goddess of Love. What’s love got to do with it? Nothing. And we should all weep for the loss. |
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Today, just as you have summed up, women in general seem to see love as meaning someone is suppose to give them something. If many men pay as much attention, they will find a great many women, think they control relationships, and many exercise that mindset by the way the make relating the greatest hell filled situations one can imagine, with their conditions and expectations, and most have nothing to contribute but a face and a body, which is followed by a mind designed to issue one expectations after the next. Its pure crazy.. Seems the more pretty her face is to look at the more trippy they are, even in blogs and magazine, if one post on their blogs, they want to dictate what you say, and if you don't say what they want the the way they want it said, they block people, if you don't patronize them to flatter their self inflated ego, they either shut down or place blocks on their posting. The good thing about that, is they filter themselves out and in the end result. it save a man a lot of trouble, because if he is aware he can see, she is and will be a selfish tyrant in a relationship anyway, and she will always assume the relationship is all about her. Many already think, the mans role is no more than to be a servant who functions like a hand maid to follow her dictations. When it comes to the situation of paying, It's far cheaper and less hassle to buy a hooker, the sex is in "some" cases probably is less hassle filled than with some of the women men call wives. one thing for certain with a hooker, she is at least pro-active during sxual relations. in some ways "some" hookers are even more honest and open in how they communicate than a lot of women men call wives. It's crazy because in many marriages when the women don't get the man to do just as she say, she turns it into a sexless marriage, so why would any man put up with that, as if he is blind to the fact that she is being a prostitute in marriage, the only difference she is quoting specific demeans, or there is no sex. By any way a person looks at it, that is just a form of prostitution. Probably the rarest thing on this planet is a woman who actually loves a man and does not expect something. too many men contribute to this social sickness, by promising these women stuff. when men learn that he does not owe her a damn thing, because in her mind she certainly feels that she does not owe any man a damn thing. and the sooner men realize that then he can choose wisely. When women leave relationships, she does not feel she owes the man a damn thing, and most feel they want to collect a sur-charge for every minute she ever had sex with him, as a residual payment she claims is due. Now how is that different from prostitution? Probably the most honest love people can see is when two broke people are in love. or when teen-agers fall in love, they love because they actually like and love the person they have chosen. women are generally groomed to be prostitution by some means, from the family of their mother and father teaching them to pursue men with this or men who have this or that. they push her to look for men with money, status,title and even popularity. Shows on like the celebrity wives, and the Kardasians, show these women are like hunters who seek out wealth and privileged, and the only thing they got to bargain with is looks and sex. many of them have no considerate concern for the man. some whine if he has to go to work, some whine if he has a hobby and some whine if he is not running around doing every little task she assigns to him. There are however some honest women who do know that love is a feeling and it is a considerations to show and share appreciate and there is not fee involved. In these website, many of these women are on the market looking for someone to offer to pay their way in life or let them have access to his financial situations. Most of them can't even engage in a conversation unless someone is nearly kissing their ass to do so. unfortunately the men find out too late that he has been such as ass kisser, and that awareness usually comes, the minute he says, "NO" to some demand or expectations she pushes. Most arguments in the average relationship has its primary roots any time a man says "NO", you can pretty much 100% guarantee it will become an argument that is initiated by the women. sex is conditional on what he gives, how often he gives and if what he gives meet her expectations. That by any summation is again a form of "prostitution". If a man wants a woman, make sure that she wants you more than you want her, and you might find one that has realized that her antics can't control you, nor can her attitudes dominate you. Women since the beginning of civilization has practiced how to manipulate men. they want to control him with their smiles and cries. Generally the most honest for the moment women, are women who are in crisis. or the ones who have been burned by their own game. but one has to be aware that as soon as she gets her ego back on its normal par, she is apt to change like the weather and become like a hurricane from hell. men should listen, when he encounters women who have money and means, the first thing out of their mouth is "I don't need a man".. that should tell a man, that she is a woman who has never learned to want and appreciate a man, because what she is saying is if she can pay her own rent and buy her won stuff, then she will live without a man, unless he promises to pay where she can save her money. if one wants to learn and see how mentally mean females are, just watch young girls, they are very vicious, and they learn this at a young age. look for women who have a basic nature that shows considerations as a natural trait, and you will find there are very few of those. Look for a woman, who does not live like she has a prostitute mentality. Most pretty women are more in love with themselves, and see men only as something to toy with and many feel they are doing the man a favor just by being with him. the best way for a man to find a woman, is first and foremost don't fall all over yourself for her. don't loose your mind trying to convince her to do anything, because if she can't do it because of her own self motivation, then you should not want it. many women use sex, to catch hold and control men. If men pay attention, and think of just how many women you have heard say... Men are fools... these women are telling you, they think they can get and make a man do anything for sex. she is telling him that she has no regard for him, and will play him like a yo yo to see how ignorant and foolish he will be for sex. and if you happen to get entangled in this madness, she will play you until she can use you up, and dump you for the next chump that comes along with something she thinks she can gain. I personally don't see any reason why any man should get on his knees, and ask any woman to marry him. if he wants to marry her, just tell her that is what he wants to do, don't drop on your knees like some begging fool to ask her to do anything. because she will forever having you on you mental knees begging her to do what she should have a natural inclination to want to do and share. Men see love as a sense of care for someone, women see love as having someone play their personal sucker, who is ready to kiss her ass at a whim. That's why there are so many divorces. because women expect something and throw one attitude after the next when she does not get it. if you got money, make sure you don't flaunt it, because it is not hers and you should not make her think it will become hers by being with you. many women know, all they got to do is bargain for a couple of years and they can up one day and leave and take your money, they are no fools, all women have that capability of mindset to try and rip you clean if the relationships breaks up. you will only find a few who may not engage that pursuit. but the average woman, will take anything she can from a man when she wants to leave. the only men they don't try that crap on, is the men who make it known that he is not he fool for the moment. then she will just get her stuff and leave, and not become embroiled in trying to rip and strip him. They know exactly which men, they can pull this trip on... Look around in this web site, the minute these women get a job and means to pay their rent, they are only concerned with seeing how many men offer to play their personal butt kisser, once they get that ego rush, they are happy.. they don't want anyone, they get high on seeing how many fools will play up to them. you ever wonder why women won't leave a pimp? because he probably is the only man they have met who won't put up with her bullcrap, and in turn she will do anything for him and she will do and come up with any excuse not to leave him. When men see women, who are attracted to the so called "Bad boy", she is less likely to leave him, than the women who will leave a fool that gives her everything and kiss her butt 24/7. because she stays with that bad boy, because he makes her be real, by not putting up with her bull crap.. she will respect him far quicker than she will respect the chump who lets her spend all his money and take what she wants when she leaves. She is not going to try and take not one penny from that bad boy type. people don't get it.. a hooker is a woman just like any other woman, the difference is a hooker will tell you up front what she wants, where some women just wind it into a series of playing guilt games and mind trips and trying to use smiles and cries to manipulate the man to give them what they want. and either one of them will shut their legs, when they can't get what they want. bottom line, is don't put up with BS, deal with women who can be honest people, and leave the leeches alone. remember what is a leech:  leeches attach to their hosts and remain there until they become full, at which point they fall off so make sure the female you choose is not a leech.. she needs to bring something to the relationship for share beyond just her face and body !!!!!!!!!!!!! and that something first and foremost MUST BE A SENSE OF CONSIDERATION FOR AND OF YOU, AND RESPECT FOR AND OF YOU AS A MAN AND A PERSON. IF SHE DOES NOT HAVE THAT, THEN YOU NEED TO GET AWAY FROM HER. remember before you loose your head behind what her face and ass looks like, remember, you can find a million who look like that and maybe better, who will quote you a dollar figure and bang you any way you can imagine. So, don't loose your head over a face and ass... Best advice for any man is be careful in what and whom you choose.
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a lot of women in this site, hate the fact that I call it like it is, rather than get on here with a bunch of patronizing fake flattery. because they look for smitten fools, and they run from any man, whom they know won't become their immediate butt kisser. the big difference with me on this site and some men, is>. I'm not here looking to impress any one, nor am I here trying to put on a pretense to get snagged by some woman, I come here to write. therefore, I could care less which ones like or don't like me, because I'm not going to be their butt kisser just for them to pretend they like me. I'm a nice person because I want to be nice as a human being, I am a considerate man because that is how I want to be as a man. I write about the stuff many are afraid to say, but quite a few think it anyway, and not one woman in this site can toss an attitude and change anything about what I want to say. there are many guys in this site, who are afraid to say what they think, because they want to try and appease the women as if they don't think and see certain things. but reality is simple, if people did not think and see this stuff, they'd already be mated up, both men and women. If a man comes on here with looks and money, women will flock to his post like flies, and if a pretty women comes on people will flock to their post like flies. the tell tale of it all is, eveything most of them post in rebuttal is some patronizing comment, beyond that they have nothing to say. as if they are seeking approval, by being a patronizer... rather than responding with clarity in responsiveness about subject matter. this site shows many things if people pay attention.
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