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"Expectation" "Expectation", kill more love than the natural aging process of human beings. Societies seem to push a delusional romantic fairy tale, that seems no matter how old some get, they still chase it like chasing a rainbow, and no matter how much they go to school, or claim to be learn or how much they grasp for their aims of material success, people chase the illusion, yet, reality stares them in the face day after day, telling them, simply, that love is the work of living, and living within the mindset to engage the work can give one what is loving. But if expectation makes any think its some perpetual glee filled laugh a minute spree, then they are not even real with themselves. If someone thinks it is a situation where they will be pampered and catered to every time they look at each other, then such one may be even too foolish to even love themselves. Something has women and men, chasing these delusions that they are somehow, more special than the reality of life, as if they are above the labors that constitute what loving is, and such one's crash dive and take down others in this delusion chase.. Rather than enjoy the moments you can share, and learn to rely on self to maintain self, but some are so full of 'expectations", they think if they have to rely on themselves then they assume they don't need anyone.. and that tells the story in itself.. they were 'expecting more from another than they were willing to give into the situation or to themselves. so when they have to expend their own effort, suddenly they see no reason to try to love. Such one's life shows much of how they may simply be with some level of selfishness, ' driven by "Expectations", which results to deny even the self, in the psychological mindset of being selfish... 'what a particular damage "Expectations" can do to the individual self, of one who is filled with fantasy concepts of expectations... We must all learn to grow.. we either want it or we don't... if one choose not to want it, that is their choice, but they should not cry and claim that love is not around, but be aware they are the ones who simply decide not to choose one to share it with. That is each individuals choice.. Therefore, one may be of great care before they began to "expect", as more than likely their expectations will bring many to shortchange even themselves, by expecting more than they are willing to give and share with and of themselves. some allow their expectation, to frustrate them so deeply, they can't even function to do what they need to do for themselves. some measure love, by what they expect, and how much the other caters to their expectations, and they engage to find any and every reasons to stop making effort to care or share, and engage to work on crafting reasons to leave. some sadly, listen to their friends and associations who bombard them with 'what to expect, when to expect it, and what expense they expect to be spent to provide what they expect, and become enraged when the mate does not go into a ritual performance to provide it. And..... when it all boils down to the simplicity, is it anything more than a psychological trip one invokes within self? "Expectations".... !!! Many sit around talking about how long they have been without love, and how hard they claim it is to find someone, but in truth, they made these choices, they also engage the denials which maintain them in their mate-less situations. some are proud of thier accomplishment of remaining mate-less, and some even develop higher expectations, as they think someone owes them something because they themselves chose to deny themselves for such a long time. We hear it over and over, people bragging about how long they have been without a mate, as if that means, they should be granted more of something, because they chose denial of relations. It's as much a psychological self imposed trip. If one wants to stay single simply for the sake of staying single, they are probably less willing to brag about how long they have been so, and they are not whining about how they claim they can't find love. Sadly, the claim of "pretty", damage more women than many things, because unspoken, it seems to carry with it, a circle of expectations of what they expect to get. We often see more of the claimed pretty ones who either can't function in a relationship, or they are in and out of it in a flash, when they could not have their way, and get their expectations met at the expense and sacrifices of another. to put it all in perspective. Visit a senior citizen complex, or visit a hospital, or visit a shelter for the dis-advantaged and the homeless- it just might open peoples eyes, to appreciate the simple every day realism, and they may even learn to value what is communicating and sharing. Go and look at some of the very older couples who have been together 40-50 yrs, and learn, but many never see.. all they see is two people who are older- they don't see what these individuals have learned, of how to 'share", how to not be driven by expecting, but they survive and thrive by simple "respecting each other', and that simple things, gives them the want to help, share and care with each other and what life involves for them. It's just the world, youth and physical appeal is its own mirage, because in the end result reality exposes individuals. and every individual has to work to make love work, and loving is not just the ego elation that gives a tingle in the groin, it is a full circle involvement, that learns the value of care, and in learning that value, they invariably learn to "share".. "Expectations", rarely destroy such relationships... |
