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Learning to Love - are you prepared, but more so ar you willing to face the works of Loves Relations It's less difficult if we first see to share time and space, function, process and engagement of activity. We may learn that each unique individual has special characteristic in many aspects of their make up. But if one is looking and living and pursuing with the eyes of physical make-up of media image characteristic and economic capacity of financial status, then they will not only miss much, but they will miss much of and within themselves and mostly they will miss the opportunity to share.  We each, man and woman, destroy many potential relationships.. with our dire quest for some delusional perfection search, when everything in life continues to demonstrate that to make relationships, one has to have first a heart and mind as well as a character at ease to share, and know that means, to give with the same intensity they expect to receive, and place no expectation on another which they don't want placed upon themselves. issue no ultimatums if they are not willing to receive an ultimatum from another. Be as motivated to initiate as they are to receive, and be of will and want to appreciate what is received as well to respect what is both given and received without measurement and aims to gain advantage. Any relation develops its own brand of seriousness, as well as, it too develops its own brand of sincerity... and trust is made stronger when one is able to give without per-scripted expectations that have fixed concepts of what and how another reciprocates. and morso; when one gives without reservations and/or compensatory attachments of expected returns. No one will ever like everything about anyone, because many individuals don't even like everything about themselves, to seek to like everything about another is as much a delusional aim, as it is an illusion of fantasy. what people can do is, learn better to respect the individualism of another, and work to develop understanding, that they may learn to regard and possible even appreciate the difference of individual. But to assume that how one looks can dictate any level of satisfying expectations, is the fast path to dis-illusion. and is destined to be surrounded and over come by dis-appointment. while it misses out on the uniqueness of what sharing presents to building relationships as two individuals who choose to share the living space as a pair. Unless one is of these mindsets, they become the detriment to their own relations as well as a contributing destroyer of what of relations that exist. The level of difficult is connected to the height of expectations. and many have gone loveless due to the unreal nature of expectations, and result to miss out on the reality of building functional relationships. The fantasy that surrounds the Wedding setting, has taken down many relationship, when the event itself should be understood as a staged event, but what matters is the basic simplicity of two people marking a point, of establishing a setting to publicly declare their agreement to work together to maintain an ongoing relationship. The fantasy and the illusions that surround the occasion is drilled full of fantasy illusions of make believe and perpetual bliss. none of which is real within the duration of what sustains a relationship. the public accolades are for the occasion, but such public support is not a given for the ongoing of individuals sustaining a relationship, because the relations is not only individualized, but it is as much private and often time externally observed with idealized fantasy or idealized conflicts, by those who observe from the outside and result to impose un-due influences within a private relationship. Sadly for some, after the economic extravagance and emotional fantasy of a wedding, many couples head down hill before the night of the honeymoon, when they have to make a mental discernment between fantasy and adjusting back to the reality of daily living. Such as some who were functional for years before a wedding, result to find quick divorce after a wedding, because they falsely assumed, that the event would change how they relate.. and suddenly they assume a stance of ownership of the other, rather than basically understanding, they only made a ceremony of event, around the basic agreement to continue the sharing of living and responsibility of self in doing so. Most divorces, always claim what the other did not do and would not do, which indicates that expectations dominated where understanding should have devised a mutually compensatory compromise to accommodate the individual of each other... thus enabling them to remain being individuals who choose to work together as a pair. Love is work, and work is love and the love of the work, strengthens the works within the love. If one is unwilling - then it become of great difficulty to find and even make agreement to agree to relate. When sex becomes utilized like a gambit and processed like a transaction, not only will both become deluded by the game it invokes, each will become bewildered in their own ability to appreciate sharing the act. When one complains about the work they invest and try and dictate work of the other, they will become at odds and loose the ability to respect the value each other contributes, and may well over value themselves and undervalue the other... and bickering become to lead to the break due to expectations and assessments which is often times traced back to selfish assessments and unfair measurement of one another. When they claim that romance is challenged, they must first come to gather what is the interpretation of romance and then learn of the difference in their concepts, before they fall apart thinking it is a self envisioned fantasy, rather than the make up of two concepts sharing a singular experience. Oh, how we under-utilize the great gift of communication, and wonder why.. love seems to be so distant in our lives. We often time, under investigate the role of vanity and ego, both of which plays upon the other, ego drives vanity and vanity inflames ego, when it is become greater than the ability to use reason to govern our emotions, when such happens, we result to have failure in how we communicate. Relationships are for those who take the dare to learn the works involved to sustain the continuation of sharing. |
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why are people so reluctant to talk ?
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no wonder peoples relationships fail or run into trouble. seems they are relying on some fiction of romanticism,, when life requires one to think, communicate and be pro-active ... otherwise they will wine and complain they can't find love, or claim love is unavailable, and most certainly most will scream with the claim someone did them wrong, when truth may be of fact, they may be their own greatest detriment, with the zipped lip demeanor.
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