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How Envious are you? Many will probably say not very... but upon closer inspection one may find they hold envy in too many ways against too many things. otherwise people would be of joy about the achievement of others. some even envy the expressions of others, down to even simple things of what costume another is wearing. Why so many begrudge so much about others may be more connected to their individuals self dis-satisfactions than many care to conscientiously acknowledge. No, this is not asking you to disclose in this blog what you envy nor how many things you envy... but it certainly is a provocation to bring you to explore yourself to come to realization of the level of envy in your life. Many resent many things about many people, often times that same resentment can be connected to some level of envy one holds about the very same things they resent.  " QUOTE" "some degree of envy toward those who have more or better than us is normal human nature; there is a deciding line, however, between this normal response and reactions which are clearly abnormal to the point of pathological reactions to the better standing of others". Whether the subject-at-hand is material possessions, opportunity, physical attractiveness, health, nearly anything can fall into the category of bypassing normal envy and taking on an abnormal stance of resentment. As concisely described, simple envy is a matter of "I just wish I had what you have," while resentment encompasses an entirely different form: "We wish that the other did not have what they have." The deciding line is the ill-will involved in the latter; and it is detrimental to both the person who feels and expresses such resentment as well as those who are on the receiving-end of it. ( from web-described by Jim B. ) {END QUOTE} Some level of envy can bring people to work on improving themselves in various things. But when it goes beyond the motivation to improve self, and becomes a obstinate and even an assault toward others, then it has reached the danger zone. Sadly in relations people carry many level of envy that ultimately erodes the considerations and then attacks the care of one for another, and they become combative and may even become warlike in how they deal with their mate. Such things is a cause and should be a signal for one to review self, more than to criticize the other person... (The below does not excuse men from being envious nor being with resentments) it may discuss women, but many of the elements may well be true of men as well. the bigger difference why I focus on women, is because society spends far more time grooming females to envy males, than it does for male to envy females. and this in part if because society for many centuries has put constraints on women, that it has not put on men, as well as conditions of social conduct on women which is different from the social constraints placed upon men. It does not in any way mean that constraints are not placed on men, but the constraints placed on men are of a different type than what is placed upon women. Therefore, please read with that in mind... Unfortunately in society and many cultures, this envy is groomed into your females at an early age and they become adversarial with the males, even when they are attracted to the male, they battle within themselves between the adversarial urges and the envy feeling and become confounded by their attractions and like for the male.. it brings nothing but a circle and cycle of 'challenge scenarios", excessive accusations, and even incessant questions. Often time the questions does not seek an answer, it is more trying to re-prove their own anguish, more than to accept the understanding and truth that comes forth. In the society of today, there is so much envy filled with every type of resentment, that has simmered in so many women, they become mission bound, to declare themselves "Single Mom's, as if it is a mission to try and prove to the world and themselves that they can raise without a man. Sadly, many are not only unaware that the animosity they hold toward the 's biological father, deprive the of what she can rarely bring herself to get over and acknowledge the benefit and role of what a father is to a . Instead many women are more driven to extract their envy and its claim of vengeance, by coveting the and making hardships for the father to interact with them. The resentment in some become so dominating, they do all they can to block and tackle any man who approach them, they build up every envy and resentment based scenario they can to discredit any man long before he even say's hello. Societies fail greatly in how it grooms and saturate with the media a false delusion that - being a female will mean that a male is to submit and the assumption that his role is to take care of her and meet her every whim while stroking her ego by patronizing means. None of which has anything to do with 'the realities of appreciations"... when appreciation is given and received, it has its natural way to inspire the ego, and it can and will bring some level of satisfaction to 'some" whims.. but to have an object to get ones ego stroke and ones whim submitted to, is nothing more than a form of coercive manipulations.. and it will never produce any level of satisfaction.. because it does not generate the nature flow of natural appreciation nor the natural acceptance of being appreciated. This bring things to the reality of what is "SHARING"... and it if far more about what you give as well as what your reach a understanding agreement upon... than it is about what you get and what you can get. these are things many women are not taught, and many women sadly by pass in their discussions with each other, they unfortunately focus too much on what kind of manipulations and lure tactic's they can utilize.. more than what they can share and how they can share and more so how to appreciate what is shared with them. It's without a doubt, many women will rebuke everything being written here, because it goes against their thoughts, that 'sex can control everything" ... How do people over come such things. First and foremost it may be to a womans better interest to simply appreciate being a woman, and not try and compare nor measure that against what a man is, and what is a man. cultivate her skills, and invest herself in being a sharing person rather than a persons who is over come by expectations soon as a man approaches her. she may better her situation of self and diminish her sense of envy by being pro-active in expressing her appreciations without seeking and immediate reward for doing so. It may better her esteem to feel motivation to share herself rather than waiting for a provocation to cut a pathway for her to be a sharing person. Even in sex, women envy the man's ease of reaching a climax, unaware the man would be equally so delighted to have the ability to prolong and delay it, while a woman may well want to work and learn how to relax and intensify her self motivation within expressions, which will help bring her to a quicker climax. Sadly.. people are too obstinate and too willing to try and justify their envy and make excuses for their resentment, rather than to learn to over come and dispel them and grow beyond such self confinement. There is a great deal both man and woman can learn about themselves, when they come to terms to address the elements of their envy and resentments, but first many have to acknowledge they have envy and resentment, then they may learn from it and grow beyond it, and some may have to grow through it. If you have a past broken relationship, Until the moment you choose to accept that you were with faults as the other, at that very point, you learn to grow, but if you persist to claim all the blame is always on someone else, then not only are you blatantly lying to yourself, you prohibit yourself from growing from the learning that would expose itself when you face the truths of the self. but the minute you think you are the sole greatest thing living, you probably will take something for granted and over look much that can help you grow. This does not mean dislike yourself, not condemn yourself, it means, never let the foolish pride make one think they are beyond fault and beyond growth and learning. Nor to think one is beyond having reasons to improve on and within ones ways of living. No one can apologize for what thy have not learned something from, if one is adverse against apologizing, they may too be adverse against growing from what they could learn. How envious are you? may well hold the hidden key of understanding why finding a mate is of difficulty for many. It certainly will expose how much resentments one holds that blocks them from not only appreciating others, but equally from being open to accept appreciations from others. It's certainly of all things, a start point to pursuing growth in improving ones living manner.. |
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Overcoming F.E.A.R one first has to learn what makes up what is fear. F= Falsehoods /Foolishness E=Envy /Enmity A=Arrogance /Avarice R=Resentment / Retaliatory To face and over comes "F.E.A.R".. what is left is the openness to "L.I.F.E. L= LIVE I=IN F= FULLNESS / FREEDOM (OF) E=EXPRESSION One is then equipped and capable of sharing the honesty within Loving.
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