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"don't claim loneliness" - " change it !!! If you claim loneliness, Not only will you feel that way, but even if you find someone, you will continue to feel like searching and continue to claim loneliness the minute the person has to go do the things that make their life function. How often are we willing to look at the hard things which can help us grow? how often do we fade away form that which challenges self to become more empowered to be expressive as self ? Do we fear these challenges in words and thoughts ? always does self reflection help us grow when we learn to look to grow and not to condemn and deny. but to face these hard things, and seek ways to grow... One first has to get over the sense of loneliness within yourself, "don't claim it" because to make a relationship... you have to bring more than a sense of "need" to resolve some self concerned matter of which you have full control over.  you have to bring the joy that you seek to find, then you have something to share. You have to bring the feeling of love as well as the feeling of loving, that you have something to share. If you want someone just to entertain you, so you can claim that relives your loneliness, then you will be ready to leave the minute you no longer find them entertaining or they don't entertain you with enough to over come your own lack of being self inspired and self motivated to share something and self. Loneliness is a choice of misery, and misery loves company, it may be that if you claim so much loneliness, you may be trying to attract someone into the same sense of misery. it might be to your advantage to live with a spirit that you have something to share, you have a want to share and you make efforts to share, and you expect no more than you are willing to give and share. You might want to learn not to smother another by your expectations, and you may learn not to suffocate another by your claim of loneliness... by putting conditions and criteria as if their sole job in life is to cure you of something only you can cure yourself of. invite someone to a move, out to the park or just a drive or walk to some place general and public.. and don't wrap yourself up in terror thoughts about whether they will enjoy it, and don't ask them 20 questions about whether they enjoy the outing.. just share your feeling and thoughts about what you are doing and where you are.. as well as the appreciation of and for the person who is sharing time with you. but if you spend the time, worrying about if they are having fun, then you will come away not only feeling tired, but dis-enchanted too, and you will have made your joy dependent on their response, .... that is self destructive. go with joy to share, and while there, share the joy you feel about life and what you are doing. then you are giving naturally your real time life expression and experience. If you are standing watching the waves crash into the shore, share your joy about the viewing and your thoughts about life and the point you see to appreciate... you may find that the experience will resolve into a delightful sharing by two people about life and what they think and feel.. Measure less, and enjoy more, measure less and appreciate more, measure less and respect more.. Stop trying to label every person you meet as a girlfriend or boyfriend, or husband potential or wife potential.. and simply be friends enjoying sharing time. Everyone you go and do stuff with, there is no requirement that you must put them in some box, as if to label them... and stop trying to marry everyone you speak openly and freely with. The desperation of seeking and measuring everyone as if you are desperately seeking a husband or a wife, is probably why you have not found one. Probably some of the biggest problems many have is they measure others too much by the wrong things.. some measure that this or that person does not look good enough, that this person or that person does not have enough money.. or they don't have a title, or they don't earn enough income. All of such things, only demonstrate the vanity of the individual making such measurement.. It demonstrates the self-centered and expectation filled mindset of the one making all these measurements. When people look at their own obsession with their own vices and vain pursuits, and choose to let them go, they find not only are they not lonely, but they make friends easily, find more to smile about, and they are generous in the spirit of sharing as a person. Self discovery is a ongoing process... if people allow it to be so.. you just might find that love is ever-present in your life and it is then far easier to choose someone to share it with. as with most of such type of blogs... not only will it be ignored but few will explore to expound... such is the commonality within this site, but so too within the living of life.... by many.... Still there is much of claims of loneliness and a great many fears of many sorts about the social factors of living. Always , the challenge is within self.... to grow.... if this blog makes you run away... then the question is - "why" |
