| Blogs > beyondfantasy3 > Many Perspectives of Attitude |
|
Finding a Mate - through attention, awareness and understanding HERE IS THE REAL DEAL.. when you find the woman that does not make a game of meeting and greeting, she does not make it a gambit to see her and she is willing and open to share her thoughts, her time and her real feeling without you having to give her trinkets and favors, and one who deals with sex on a interactive equality level, and does not expect you to become a submissive beggar to share something that should uplift both, if it is real and honest in how the sharing is engaged. If you find her, you have to see her far and beyond just sex, which mean deal with her as the full person she brings to the table of relationships. If she works a job and you work a job, share the chores, if you don't know how to cook, then maybe you may try to learn, if you don't know how to wash clothes maybe you can learn, by this it simply means don't expect that both of you work 8 hr and then she is expected to come home and do all the home duties of life, share in what makes the home relationship function as two individuals sharing a mutually responsible living space, you can divvy up duties by agreement, or what ever pick and choose manner that is desired. but the key is to respect the works of each other in what it takes to make the house and home work, beyond the job. Especially when both work.. If you choose for her not to work, then you find an agreement that works for the two of you. but what you won't find is a situation of a conditional arrangement, because she will have as you will have a mutually vested interest in each other and what it takes to make the relationship work, what it takes to make the house work, and what it takes to make it be a shared home ... If you are not finding this, then you should know when it not right, as well as you should know when it is right. many men get caught by the sex game, where the lure catches and controls him and both find themselves in a world of hells making, because it did not began with a balance of individual respect of and for and sharing respect with each other. Don't make promises to the lure of pretty, and don't make dedications to the shape of an ass... if you don't want to find time wasted, it is best to make relations with understanding leading each step... or you had better stand still and do nothing until you have understanding about what your are doing. fear won't work, bullshit won't work and delusion will make fools of all involved. a lot of women avoid good men, because they are on a mission to tame a bad boy, or they want to be caught in the spin of a rogue.. because they themselves is a rogue. the wise women who know a good man, will reflect with him the good woman within herself. some women have malice deep within themselves, and they will flee from a good man, because they know they have not put to rest the rogue within themselves, so they feel uneasy around a good and honest man. some women avoid a good man, because they know within themselves, they are not able to avoid the temptations to chase a bad boy and play tease games with a rogue. some women lust only after men whom they know are unavailable, and some chase men whom they know will not choose a settled relationship, but they already know these things but they can't resist it because they thirst for an adventure, as if they seek to be entertained and get their high from the drama involved. The one's who make long term mates have found themselves far and beyond these self deluding trip things, to them, loving and sharing comes easy and they don't find a relationship as being a distasteful chore. You will know her by the quality of her character and the integrity she has in how she expresses herself. this has nothing to do with the pretentious costumed fictitious phoniness of media based sophistication nor the elitist dribble of self absorption... It is about a genuine nature that is more rooted in the naturalness of everyday living. Likewise so for women, if she has to look with the thoughts of being a mate, not being taken care of, she has to look without a focus on money, but what of life does she have to share and what of will and determination does she have to work along with her mate to make the house stable, and home exist. When she is looking for a honest relationships, she will dispense with the games, she will dispense with the illusion that she is some goddess, and she will began her search as being a socially interactive human beings who is with a will, drive and desire to share herself with equally efforts, and equal self inspired motivations. The women who over-rate themselves are rarely able to sustain a happy relationship, truthfully, they rarely can sustain an enduring friendship. many women destroy the same love they want, by testing the man over and over trying to see what concession he will give her and if he will submit to a endless array of compensations which she expects to get. he approach is wrong and the result generally turn out to prove it to be so. Men give and do and share because within the nature of him, these things are common under the basis of one with compassion within themselves, and the willingness to be understanding. but so often women take this for granted, many women take the eagerness of some men to share things for granted, they abuse it, mis-use it and become condescending after they have toyed with taking all they can without having to give anything in return. The successful women in relationships are far different than the unsuccessful ones and the difference comes from deep within. Sadly in society, the image of media presentations of women, has in many ways weakened the character and diminished the integrity within women, everything tells her to use sex, use the tease and tempting, and it often times become the same elements that bring the downfall of the relationship. When it over, often times, the women fail to acknowledge her mis direction of actions and conduct. The women who are not out looking for the Cinderella treatment are more than likely better equipped mentally to put in the work that is required in a relationship. |
