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Cultural variables to consider... There are other things to consider in the over all.. For example, countries that have a history of selling off the girls babies or young females; or the families that look to utilize the female to pursue a wealthy man as a means to enrich the family line. This may have a lot to do with some of the motivations of women from some places. Because in such situations some of the women may have been groomed to look for wealth before love, and hope that along with the wealth comes love. Some may be taught to not even consider love beyond what is necessary to secure the man with wealth.. In these type of locations which seek to use the females to enrich the family, those situation groom the woman not to care so much about love, but morso about the economic means of the man... Maybe some of the women in some of these web sites may have been groomed under these influences. They are taught to pretend to be loving, but that is for the sake of securing connectivity to the wealth or economic aims. Therefore to them, they are doing nothing wrong, but doing what their family has influenced them to do. Some may even fear being discredited by their family if they don't secure themselves to a man of means. Some women many not even give it a second thought, because that is what they have been taught. some have it ingrained in a way, that it becomes not only an objective aim, but a duty... because the parents will based their considerations of the female on whether or not she attracts and attaches herself to economic means or wealth. Maybe that is why some of the women in these sites, forgo the honesty of love, but choose to play the 'let's pretend to being loving, in order to secure and to connect to the economic means or the wealth. of the targeted man who has such means. It's not the Western general average person format, so maybe, just maybe the western male does not know or think to consider to understand this scenario of influences which may have been ingrained in some of the women they meet... that does not mean he has to accept it,... but it also does not mean that some of these women are not operating under that type of influence. We have to remember, these are elements that exist in the cultural differences between the East and West. not all eastern women are trained as such.. but you never know which one have been trained as such... until you dig deeper into the community culture an family ideology from which she comes. I don't think Ivy8686 see anything wrong with her manner of pursuit, but as so, we don't know what her community grooming and family ideology is, nor what type of pressures that the family unit puts on the females to pursue wealth above the concept of love. Many Chinese women leave the men, if he does not have means, and many of the community cultures, place a high value on the man having a specific spectrum of economic means before the family of the woman will even consider supporting or endorsing the girl/woman to marry him. A great many of the women on this site, have the financial concerns of the man as a high focus consideration.. Remember this country in parts of it being, still have females babies being killed and being sold to benefit the parents... I think for many of these women, they may well be judged heavily by their family based on what the mans financial status is. Some families may even put the guilt trip on the woman and tell her that she brought shame to the family if she does not find a man with means. Remember, this too still is a country where the men don't have a high motivation to want to marry a divorced woman, or a woman with , and in some cases this is a country where men ignore the woman once they get over 40-45.... In some households they concern themselves more with role play and duty of the role they each play and the divide in the way the male role and the female role is to be played.. so.. the daily talk of love and affection is put on the back burner and duty and the execution of duty become the primary focus. It takes some women a long time to break free of these shackles. some Asian women like western men, because it takes her away from these type of repressions and being bound into that cycle of duty, that rules out the warmth of intimate communications. some of their families put so much focus on status achievement, until the pressure can be crushing to even the though of putting love first. As one blogger said: this is a country that people pay to have their go to the so called right school, and may pay to get the so called right grades and pay to push them to the so called right circles. This is a culture and system of governance that does not have the same cultural freedoms as a basic, as does say Canada or the US or some other Western Locations. Still today some of these women can't even tell their family if they are motivated to be with someone from the West or of a different ethnic group or even a different nationality. The guys who are looking for women in these locations have to be mindful that some of these things exist in some of the women they meet, and it will take time to develop a relations that can transcend and be built where they each can grow to become a pair with their own values base of which they build within the merger. It takes the work of communications to develop a relations with understanding and finding its means to build a basis they each can live with. |
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Remember, this too still is a country where the men don't have a high motivation to want to marry a divorced woman, or a woman with children, and in some cases this is a country where men ignore the woman once they get over 40-45.... By the way I really hate these words though I admit that it tells something true in some ways. However as a lady on here said before, it is the UGLY TRUTH. there is ugly truths all over the world, in many western countries, there are women who have baby after baby, and remain purely ignorant to the fact they can't provide for the first one and they go carelessly and hae another. there are many women who can't stay with the father of the child, and many times its not the fault that the man wants to leave, its the fault of the greed mentality of some of the women. Because western women suffer from the same thing you explained about the multiple variables of Chinese as it relates to the female. Many parents try to teach them one thing,but they go in the street and want to learn something different. Today, many western women are so hung up on that thing between their legs, until they think they can manipulate the world with it, as does this same mentality exist in every country. By the time many of them realize that thing between their legs has made them make a fool of themselves over and over and over, and eventually, there is no one left to blame it on, so they try and blame it on the children they carelessly brought into the world. There are countless poorly responsible females, yes, many with the painted face or the so called good looks, can be as nutty as those who may not look the same. Commercial advertisement and the delusion of the media has many women now more crazier than ever before in the history of the human being. Yes, China is changing and rapidly but there are still places that are 30-40 yrs behind, and that same point is a reality in every other country, they too have people that are 30-40 years behind in intellectual development and awareness. In every city and rural area, there are nut cases being groomed this very moment, both male and female. People don't get it, when you forgo dignity and humane regard for others, and become vain and gluttonous and materialistic, it does not matter where one is from, they will become to have less dignity than a wild animal. They become desperate and thus they become vicious. We can't cure them, but we certainly can give the time to become aware and insure that we maintain our distance from these types, regardless where in the world they are found.
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Ultimately it is the consequence of education, including family education and social education. What did she learn from her parents? What did she learn from her friends? What did she learn from the society? I dont think nowadays there are many parents who tend to teach their daughter to pursue wealth instead of happiness. As parents it's easy to feed the kid up and keep her warm, but hard to teach her to grow up to be a person with a correct outlook on life, because it needs a great amount of energy, time, patience, and even the parents have a correct outlook on life themselves. I'd rather believe that most of the time it's not the parents that teach their daughter to pursue money by taking some so-called "shortcuts", but they don't give her guidance at all. The girl is never taught in a positive way, thus she has to learn everything, to build her own moral standards by observing her parents' behaviors, her friends' behaviors, and will be inevitably influenced by the social conduct. That's why we always say one is easy to change by the situation or the people around him/her. Keep an eye on those who are around you, make friends with those positive people but be far away from the negative group. As for the one child policy in China that most westerners can't understand and severely criticize all along, as a Chinese woman, a mom, according to the level of China's economic development, I do think it's a necessary policy , to help us to provide one kid good education, take good care of her and concentrate on teaching her to be a good and helpful person. Just imagine a woman has many children but neglect them, this too is meaningless. Of course this is another topic has nothing to do with what you are talking about on here  .Today, we have all kind of unheard of things, such as women having babies and leaving them in trash dumpsters, to disposing of them by a variety of means. There are women who have situations where they produce three or more babies in a row, some with different fathers, and in some situations none of the fathers are around, in some situations none of the father care, and in some of the situations the women bounce from man to man, until none of the men trust her enough to want to deal with her. some of the women get caught in the fast lane game, of thinking they can have every man or any man they see, and some result to have a variety of babies, and she probably does not even know the father's ( parents name.some have babies, because it means another public service check, and it gives them another excuse not to work or develop a skill. People try to push this off as a ethnic things, but fact is, in America, the people who rely on public services is far different from what the media push. The use of public services by white people is 4 times higher than the use by minorities. This is something the media rarely will present. But the reality of this is widespread on many parts of this nation. couple this with the many various schemes people infuse in their ways of living.. it makes for a very challenging situation especially within building relationships and raising a family. there are so many people who don't invest the time an thought into what it takes and even then there is absolutely no guarantees that the offspring will work out progressively or that the relationship will flourish.
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I think China is many things in many places across its landmass. Re: Web data Moreover, the population density is high, with 133 people per sq km. This population, however, is unevenly distributed. Along the densely populated east coast there are more than 400 people per sq km; in the central areas, over 200; and in the sparsely populated plateaus in the west there are less than 10 people per sq km. The following table gives an overall view of the composition of the population of China: Composition of Population (  Sex male 51.63 / female 48.37 Region cities and towns 36.22 / countryside 63.78 Age below 14 years old 22.89 / 15-64 years old 70.15 / above 65 years old 6.96 [end web data] China, however does have a great many traditional components within its long history. but as with many places around the world, one might go a few blocks from a very nice section and find an area that is quite different. The gap between very wealthy and very poor is a very very very large gap. The levels of life and the spectrum of challenges are many, when a population density is this large in the metro's, and even in the smaller undeveloped areas the challenges have their variables as well. Trying to put a picture in a box, would be the same as assuming what ones see's on Western Tv is the life most live, which is VERY far from the everyday reality of people, life and the variable segments of the city. You can take a snap shot of any city from a Helicopter and it may look idealistic, but once one is on the ground a whole different reality takes form. the people who live there all their life know a very different image and view from what foreign visitors may see. The other matter is generally the visitors have expendable cash flow, which influences what they see and many times how they view what they see. But .. now, imagine that one was living within the economic framework of the average citizen, then the view and what one views may change drastically. Any time I travel,I try to extract my mind from the 'rose tinted tourist view" and see and fell the everyday life pulse of the place I visit. most of the people I've met, whether they have economic means or not, they want a foreign person to have a positive view of their place, but they also will be open to inform one of are that it is best not to linger as well as what type of things to be on sharp attention to look out for. I've met girls in places who spend a great deal of time after work, to make sure that I enjoyed their city, but they also talked to me about the challenges they face both at work and in various other ways. They don't dwell on the negative, but they don't pretend that it does not exist either. I've talked to women on this site, who are good at their jobs, but they have the threat hanging over them that a younger pretty face girl could displace them just because the boss likes looking at her. But I also talked with one woman who is very open and honest about things, she seems to do well, I don't know anything about her income situation or her family assets or any such thing, because it does not really matter. But surely many have very humble situations as well as some have very luxurious situations. We can't forget the fact there is no such thing as a place of ease and glee, for the people who have to work for a living. many of the pictures one poser uses are models, being directed by photographers who want to promote the delusion of playful sensual images as if giving pleasure is the woman's main focus. but many a foreigners have found that not to be the long term reality that comes into focus.. It's like many young women may promote themselves as nice to play with sex toy images, and then the hell fury comes forth when that image no longer gets her whats she wants. The reality spectrum will always come to focus given enough time. and what that becomes depends a great deal on the character of the individual as well as the real character of the man as well.
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