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What are "some of the things" which challenge you most about love. For me, I think the one thing is, trusting that a woman has the will and focus to stay invested in the relationship by her own self motivation. I don't like the idea of women having a list of duties they expect men to perform, or thinking that he owes her something just because she is there. ( in the sense that he has to be on some perpetual buying mission of things), just so she will smile and be a happy spirited person. It was far better when women appreciated the things the man did give, because it was something he wanted to give by his own desire to do so. Life was much easier for love, back in the days, before shopping and commercials dominated the lives of people. they focused more on their needs, rather than their whimsical wants, they were pleased to have the basics without requiring designer name labels to be on everything. Home was appreciated as somewhere to live, rather than trying to see who can have the most luxuriously (mostly unused) huge houses. They did not need to change cars just because a new model came out. today, people can't even be comfortable with things like cell phone, because now days people go stand in line every six months to buy the next Iphone. I truly dislike the fact that women think they control sex in relationships and try to use it like a bargaining tool... that is probably among the worst of things, and is a sure fire way to destroy the intimacy and eventually destroys the trust in person. |
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10/21/2013 9:13 am |
It sounds like there are reoccurring problems with the women you meet. As the definition of insanity from Einstein is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". Maybe look for a different type of woman?
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I'm a realist... the Quantum spectrum is quite fine with me, as "timing" and "conditions", "situations" and "circumstances" has a great impact on "like variables" interacting and producing different reactions.  I'm not saying these things happen to me personally, these are just things I don't like. I'm a very creative person, in my past with women, they get afraid that I will out grow them as they say, or some hobby that I'm doing will become something more and that I will find someone else. A woman friend of mine who is a relationship counselor among other forms of counseling she does. Told me that women are probably intimidated with me, because they can't use sex as a barter point, and I am not devastated by their antics... and they can't manipulate me with their tantrums. I've had women who have told me that the way I think makes them fell less smart. Such comments I think are ridiculous, because mostly i want women to say what they think, do what they want to do and be self motivated about what they are doing. When it comes to sex, I have not had problems with women not wanting to do stuff sxually, nor to do creative stuff sxually. I have however seen some of the stuff I write about happen to many many guys.. many women are "use to" guys doing all kind of stuff to win her and making a mission of trying to get her in bed... I don't do that.... if she wants to we can, if she does not want to then we don't... I'm not going to make it some ritual program to try and convince her... I have various women at my work whom I know I can get with, but I don't chase them, I don't hit on them and I don't pursue them. When I see a woman I want... I simply tell her and I will let her know that I'm not interested in tripping, either she wants to get together and go do something or she does not. she has a choice. I'm not going to call her every 10 minutes, and I rarely ask for their number, I will give them mine, and I have no problem telling them, the reason I don't ask for their number. Because I'm not interested in hearing any excuse. so again, she gets to have the choice .... if she is not woman to act on the choice, then we simply don't communicate, then if she wants me to call her she will find a reason to give me the number to call her. chasing and heavily pursuing women is the worst thing a man can do... it send the wrong message... because over time he knows the chase game will cease and the problem is she may still be expecting it. but its also the quickest way to get played. Nope... we meet in the middle as two adult individuals. Once we make contact, then I have no problem calling her, and she should feel free to call me... But the matter is> Take the game out it from the start and there is no game. I'm not trying to win some circus prize, the whole point is to relate with a woman who is an adult individual. There is not need to start a bunch of rituals, that I know and she should know that the daily reality of work and life will not sustain those rituals. Start it like you want it to be, and you don't have to worry about trying to fix and change it later to adapt to reality. I'd never been one of those guys talking about, "yea, man I was trying to get her for xx years"... that's silly to me. and it is a game best left for those who like to play it. I'm not going to make some 15 minute later commitment after I meet a woman and I don't want her making any 15 minute later commitments to me. Let's go do stuff and share some time and find out how much more time we want to share with each other. It will become what ever it is to become. I simply have not seen anyone that moves me in my physical circle who moves me to want to make a connection... I did not grow up during teen years dating, I worked... I had a girlfriend, it was not chase involved in it. we just wanted to be together. I did not play into the dating thing even later... If I saw a girl I wanted to be with, I let her know and that is what it became. I don't like the dating ritual game as its scripted. I've never liked it and at my age I am not going to start liking it. It's funny even on vacation, during my time in Thailand, I saw many many pretty women, but I waited until I saw the one I wanted, and that is the one I got with. It was no trip about it. If they start to act crazy, if I like her I will tell her so, if she insist on acting crazy, then after I've done my best to let her know i like her, then it does not work... then she can go about her business. It may be not comfortable and it may even be painful, but trying to chase and force her to stick around is not a good thing. I always know, that over time... when she goes she will either do well, or fall flat. I've seen that happen as well. I enjoy the delights of being with a woman as well as working with a woman to meet the goals and challenges she may have or that we may have... but this trip playing is not a good thing. I've been with women in the house at 4am... and I let them know they have as much right to initiate something as I do... some have played that hold back, I'm a girl pursue me" and they left and nothing happen, later I've had them to call me back, and say... You know I was ready"... we laugh, and one I simply said, Ok, take off everything, put on nothing but a shirt, and come and answer the door... then we do what we do and have a good time, with laughter, but she then knows that she is free to bring her creativity into the mix. there's all kinds of ways to bring reality into the mix without playing the ritual script game. That's one think I like about bar girls, they don't trip, they just get ready to get busy and they will initiate stuff and respond to things being initiated. I've met women who are as comfortable who are not bar girls and we have gone on to have very good relations... Some men have to woo and win their woman every night, and that get's old and tiring ... many of such men, soon get tired of those women because he is always doing all the work to get it started and he is doing all the work in the bed. These men began to quickly feel these women are not as desiring of him as he is of her, and eventually his desire for her will diminish. In this web site there are a couple or so that I think would be nice to relate with, but I don't pursue the issue, because I know I can't at this time cover the trip to go there, nor can I afford to stay there any length of time and certainly can't afford to repeatedly go there. So why try and get with her when the conditions of the situation is not functional at this particular time to get together. I'm not into some email love affair, that does not suit to satisfy me or her. Its just not my idea to pursue in that manner. Friends, is great.... then if time find the options to make ways to meet, then we will figure out what is what.
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I think many older women are more direct about things in the meeting and greeting arena... the challenge point is, sometimes they want an instant level of commitment, (not a marriage proposal), but they do want to know that you want to spend time with them. It would be much better if they simply relax and don't per-script in their minds any committed imagery thoughts. Just go do stuff and enjoy and flow with the situation. Most of the older women are not going to run home and jump in bed with guys soon as they meet him, because as they become older, its just not what they do. Although, they are far more capable of handling it if that is what they choose than young women handle it. Because the older woman may well be stable in her own right and not trying to get anything other the sharing of the situation. But they are not going to set themselves up to have their reputation put in a ringer. I think women in their 40's who realize they are no longer the miss hot teen and they know they are not going to be 20 again, and they have got past that 30's age where they want to control everything and think they can outsmart the world. They have come to a point, they have learned more of how to understand sharing. Probably the thing that they could consider and learn a bit more, is to not get with a guy and start trying to issue him a list of duties. Maybe don't get too high on the ladder of trying to make her sex into some "worship organ".... and just let it be what it is, once they find the situation they want to indulge. Probably the biggest challenge women in their 40's and 50 have is: one, if they let their bodies get too out of condition and their attitude too anguished, and/or they start laying out a criteria list that is longer than a grocery list for a family of 4. Some just loose that sense of fun, and have a duty bound mentality, which become a hindrance to making relations flow smoothly. Its far better to relax and be a enjoyable person.... by that age, they should know the difference between fairy tales and reality. By goodness they certainly should know that sex has no place for bartering games.
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