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Do you want a mate: ( for any and all to consider) Many people have far too much fantasy chasing, money measuring and subliminal influences from media presentations to even began to function within a relationship. Sadly, some can't observe the reality around them, because they are looking for excitement and drama... but all they need do is look at older couples who have been together for decades. They are able to do so, because they did not chase every whim of drama fantasy, and they did not get dis-illusion behind the ups and downs of actual living, and they came realize being in a relationship does not mean someone has to entertain them. I feel sorry for many young people today, they base their relations on so many material, fantasy and drama embellished things until, they can't stay together once the Restaurant, and other things fade from being primary concerns. Some look for these story book homes in some story book community and then get buried behind the expense and status obligation they fell they need to uphold by being in these environments. They have to go to the so called " right club", the so called "right stores", and drive the so called "right vehicle" and wear the so called "right labels on their clothes", then they want their to go to the so called 'status school" and be in the 'status programs and organizations".... and they want all of it INSTANTLY!!!! IF we listen to many who claim money is not a matter, but the summary of what they say is all about how much and how many ways money does matter. Honest and free flowing love, does not have anything to do with what one's job title is, nor does it have anything to do with what one's degree is, nor what their profession is. All people have to do is be two individuals, willing, capable and engaged in work, and if they are temp. out of work, actively engaged in seeking work and accepting it when it present. It does not matter who makes more money, if they claim they are in it to share their lives. But this 'barter and buy a mate" madness is at a level of pure craziness. The material measure of individual lives by material standards has made many idolatries of many sorts. Then you got the 'romance novel script" seekers who claim love is gone if no one is on a continual mission to erotically stimulate them with some fancy. People have forgot how to accept and give simply appreciation. In many situations soon as a man is determined to have money, the smile come flowing like water out of a faucet, then when they don't get to spend and waste that money, the frowns are so thick, the bright sun can't even dim their glare. then comes the 'worship me because I have this sex organ or that sex organ.... It's pure insanity. But the sad thing is it goes to absurdity, about the look of 'faces'... when no matter what a face looks like, it cannot and does not and never will be an indicator of integrity and honesty of character and person. A shapely butt might be a lure, but it is no guarantee of anything else, a buffed body might be an allure, but it is still nothing more than a buffed body.... If you are quick to prejudge another and ones self, over a meal, or at a movie, then you just might be misjudging both the other person and yourself. But it is up to each to figure out their own trips, and when they figure them out and over come them, then they might be ready to share love with someone. but getting together with a list of expectations, that ultimately become demands and then those demands seek obligatory conduct and performances... then two people will find a misery they probably deserve for seeking such. None are a Princess, nor Prince, nor is anyone a Queen or a King.... no matter what they conjure in their minds to make them think themselves as being such..... First and Foremost it might be good for people to first simply seek to be a good person in and of themselves, and be open to share... as well as to appreciate the same within another. What people end up doing is chasing fantasies, making babies that result to have to suffer because of the adults fantasy chasing. if you don't know what "marriage is", then stop obsession over it, until you can first see what it is, and then learn to respect what it means. no one owes you a fantasy, and if you seek one for yourself, eventually reality will awaken you, when you fail to do the work to build what it takes to make dreams function and be functional within your life and your relationships. We become too often 'obsessive beings" always in search of something to 'obsess over".... until we have forgotten how to simply appreciate and be appreciated. WOMEN are fundamentally different from men, they focus on the feeling tones in what is said then then seek out the logic... MEN, many times will focus on the logic of what is said and then add in the feeling tones. They are both dealing with the same things, but from different leading perspectives... |
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It's certainly not unique, but it is all too common... sadly it results to produce a great many people who become baffled and some jaded in their thoughts and concepts about love... until they end up loveless for great spans of time. Blaming everything except themselves and then refusing to learn and make the changes in mindset about what is love and how to be loving.
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I don't have a single things against Money.... I need it too..  what I'm discussing is that when it comes to choosing a mate... Money should not be a measuring element of the mate.. I do think people should make sure their selection of mate, is willing to work and be a contributor.... unless they can finance living for themselves and their mate and both are satisfied with that. Yes, there are those who have the unlimited cash access... But even Bill Gates and other wealthy people said, they will not leave their kids crazy sums of Money, because the kids need to learn to respect life and be motivated to be working contributors. For me personally, I don't care if a woman has absolutely no Money, If I care and want her, her financial status has nothing to do with me wanting her. I don't think women look at it in the same ways as men do, generally women with Money want someone with equal or more Money than she has.
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After all; who upgrades a rental? Perfect comment. I never have liked the idea of women who expect as guy to spend a lot of money dating them. It's not a problem to go places and do things, but I have no affinity for the women who want to measure how much money was spent on a date, or whether or not she was taken to some marquee place. My Stepmother told me when I first moved to LA. She said, if a woman can't come by, relax and be social and enjoy the simple things, then don't waste my time. She said, if every-time I see her, I have to take her some place and spend money or continually have to give her gifts and money, then I don't need that kind of woman. I never forgot that. I see a lot of these women, talking about degree'd men, job titles, and generous men, and etc.... I am not motivated behind those type of women. I work, and have worked my entire life to take care of my living expense, I have had the million dollar asset value, but I don't have it anymore, and what I found, was that I am the same person. I had all the nice cars and still I am the same person. So, I don't care for these status chasing women. It['s nice for people to be able to simply work and plan to get things they like, but they need to understand, "it's only things" some provide convenience, some provide fun... but they will not make a person a better individual in character and integrity, those are qualities within the person. I know people, who actually share, they put their money together for vacation, they put their money together for home maintenance and upkeep, and they share what they want to do and the cost. I just don't get these women, who thinks someone has to be spending money just for them to feel and acknowledge that the man likes them. I see why many are single and can't make relationships. Then there are the achievement junkies, who will never be satisfied with a man unless he is continually trying to climb higher and higher on some status ladder. No one wants to live in destitution, nor should they, but people simply have to be motivated to work, and then understand how to live within the means of their earnings. If they want more, then plan together how to pursue and have more. but don't beat each other down with some expected achievement aims. It is good to motivate each other based on the things the individual desires and aspires to, but some people beat the other down, based on what they expect the person to do and be. I think many young women today, don't have a sense of dedication to a relationship, many have a "open reservation mentality" hoping to trade up... they will walk away from a relationship in the blink of an eye and come up with anything they can to justify it, so they can claim to be innocent of having held on to an "open reservation mentality" to trade up. Some just want a temporary cure for their loneliness, and when they feel confident, they have focus on that 'reservation" to start seeking new mate options. Then there is a mass of women, who listen to the madness of girlfriends, always telling them, they should have more and seek more and judging their man as if he should be her servant to provide more. It's almost crazy.... the result generally is, people throw away relationships and time moves along and find them older and older, whining about the same thing, over and over. If you note, within this website, the women by pass the men who are common contributors, it appears some of the women, are searching and waiting on some mystery and fantasy... Yet, the guys who contribute are open and expressive and many speak about their values and their sense of care... guaranteed that even within their physical environments, there are men who seek them out, but they by pass those men. some won't even consider them, because they have that "mystery seeking mentality", which blinds them from the men who are openly expressive and honest without all the fanfare of exaggerated infatuations. If you listen to many women, they are not 'good choosers".. they often go for 'fads', and become so strongly influenced by what the media promotes or what some scripted composition tells them is the next things of the season to pursue, until they can't see the men in their presence. It's quite likely men too are afflicted by the same issues... for men and women both, with the wide array of faces in the web, it's like putting them in a store with 100 or 1000 different types of candy, the kid becomes confused and can't choose and no matter what they choose they become agitated about all the other brands they did not choose.
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I think most of these women could easily find a mate, but not sure they are really looking for one. I've never understood any woman claiming she could not find a mate, for guys its a bit different because he has to wade through the indecision of the women.... and then dealing with all of the 'current focus on financial status stuff". It's amazing how society claims people in general are more intelligent, but when it comes to mating maybe people have become less intelligent, to the point they outsmart themselves with the criteria and other things which seems to be more confounding than it serves to be more clarifying. But, beyond all that, I do wish everyone success in making relationship connections. I would hope that everyone who seeks a relationship find one they are willing to value as a integral part of their life.
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