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Women Initiate Divorce More than Men Do Quotes: "The majority of midlife divorces are initiated by women. Don't believe it? In the AARP survey, 66 percent of women reported that they asked for the divorce, compared with 41 percent of men. And men more often than women were caught off-guard by their divorce.." " women file for divorce and are often the instigators of separation..." From childhood little girls dream of some day having a man kneel down on one knee and ask them for their hand in marriage while offering a beautiful diamond ring. They want to walk down the aisle dressed in a magnificently stunning white dress while everyone's eyes are glued on them. For just one day in their lives they want to be a "princess" ________________________________________________________________ Far too often after that,the hell fight begins, efforts go into pursuing and trying to make the marriage fit some fairy tale she has dreamed, which did not include input from the man, it only included her view of him submitting to the role she outlined for him in her fantasy pursuit. They forget, that the relationship is about "two people", and they over look the fact that marriage is not a 24/7 event solely directed unto arousing her erotic fantasies and romantic role play. It is about two people living, working and sharing in the challenges of life, and sharing in the enjoyments of the triumphs within living. These things simply escape the concepts of her fantasy dreams. They are quick to say, "The Love is Gone", when everything is not directed into stimulating and arousing her erotically imagined concepts of self flattering aims. Then when the works of living come into the spectrum, along with it comes the antagonism and anguish from trying to mold and re-shape the man into her idealized fantasy aims. This often times is followed by the incessant consumption with thinking she is missing out on something in the voids of the world. A great deal of effort is put into measuring the man against media depiction, what other women have and what other men do, and pushing antagonisms if he is not pursuing a title, status or making more and more money. It become quickly a maddening situations, where sex becomes nothing more than a bartering tool, and kindness is rationed out based on how expectations are met and filled. Every month it seems articles are written for women giving them tips on how to get their men to commit, propose, or marry them. This is followed by a barrage of articles, on how to make him do this or that. the sad reality is women buy into this stuff. Men must find women, who live a simple life, women who are not driven by the fashion industry, commercial media, TV programming and Romance Novels and Love Story Movie scripts. He also must find a woman who is not driven by measuring her life and relationship by outside influences. It is certain that he must not be caught into situations where the woman is trying to drive and direct the relationship, for if he does it will be one hell of a roller coaster that will probably derail before he knows what happen. Women are very quick to loose the concept and motivation of how to sustain a relationship and keep love alive. For too much is based on her expectations to be patronized. Many women have often written about the insecurities of women, the perpetual want and need of re-assurances. This is a sign of instability to support the choices she made. If she needs excessive re-assurance to keep her from chasing and being enticed by temptations. If we note today, women can't choose and many can't accept the choices they make, for being too per-occupied with the choices she did not make and building fantasies about what another choice might have yielded. Maybe the story of Adam and Eve tells many things of the draw which temptations has within the minds of woman. Men should be of much care in choosing a woman. He must learn her nature and what is the instability points in her manner. He has to learn about her ego and its impact and drive within how she lives. He must be very aware of the pull and push her vanity has within how she lives. Most of all a man need not waste his time "chasing" nor trying to "win" a woman; because such activity will only bring him to do foolish things and chase a delusion he built in his own mind. It takes women a long time to learn to "want" a man through sheer appreciation of him as a person. She first has to get over the external things which attract her, such as money, material things, and looking for 'a security ATM", or latching on to social status or economic status aims. Men don't seek women for these things, he is not looking for money, he is not looking for material things, nor economic status, he is looking for someone who is able to care, willing to share, has kindness as a character trait, well groomed as a self respect elements, and clean and orderly as a house mate, as well as one who can and does share sex through appreciation and desire, instead of bartering and manipulations. Men won't up and leave a woman, just because the money ran out or one or the other is unemployed, or they suffer a business loss or loss of a job title. but these things with many women today, become a big driving force of women rushing to the divorce courts. Marrying a woman is easy, but finding a wife is more of a careful consideration which a man must make. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Accepting a Proposal for Marriage is something women should consider with a broad mind, rather than with a 'fanciful romantic fantasy concept" as the leading motivation. Maybe the best way to learn the value of marriage, is to go look at an Older Couple, who have weather the storms and actually have grown together to appreciate each other. |
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if men are smart, he will often find, its not easy to trust a lot of these women, especially if the man has a mindset that he wants to be married and is not interested in having a divorce disrupt his life. If you note in this web site, most of these women talk about finding a man as if they are looking for some fantasy illusion, rather than to seek a man and simply invest themselves in building a relationship. but many of them have more "hidden reservations" is why they can't make a choice to be with someone, some put themselves up too high in their minds until they can't choose anyone because they somehow thinks of themselves as being better then every man whom they encounter. They talk about give and take,... but they want the man to be the one giving and she designates herself as the taker. It's really crazy... all the while time passes, she ages more but still thinks of herself as some 20 yrs old spring chicken. I would go to surmise that most relationships that become broken and divorces are driven to that point by the attitudes and mindset of women. If women simply take care of themselves and learn how to be nice without it being conditional and used as some game piece activity, the men generally won't just up and plan to leave. But the same cannot be said for women. It's almost as crazy as teenage girls, who will jump from one guy to the next or which ever guy has the popularity of the moment. They waste their beauty of youth, and then get perturbed when they get old, as to why no one is buying into the illusion some want to push as if they are still some 20 something yr old. Then we get a mass of women always talking about romance, and much of it means nothing but what they expect, it does not entail them giving kindness for kindness sake, sharing intimacy for intimacy sake. it all too often connected to some ulterior motive. Sad that it is so crazy, but instead of it becoming less crazy, it is becoming even more crazy. I listen to the guys on here talking, and most of the regulars are very stable minded men, who simply want a stable minded woman, and the women look right over and past them, because the women are looking for some mystery man or some dare devil type, who will chase her like some dog chasing its own tail. I have met a woman on here who remains friendly for more than 2 yrs, we don't talk all that often but she has not tripped out, nor come with anything crazy and silly. She has said, she simply wants someone to be with. The only issue I see, is she lives in one location and I live in another. If she was close by, I think she'd make a good situations to see how it develops. I see some who have good presentations, but they seem a bit distant when it comes to the concept of relations, now how they would turn out, I don't know.
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many women feel they are neglected by their husband. I think women should get off the self centered cycle, where they think everything has to be about her. If she focused more on sharing, she would not be tripping on all these things. Truly, many women need to grow up and get over this " Poor me, Pity me, focus on me 24/7 and act like I'm the only human being in the world". Once they drive themselves crazy with this self centered madness, they are sure to use it to destroy the relationship. Women too frequently want to be praised about everything all the time. That is not the make up of an adult being in a relationship.
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Beyond...its not about some women being self centered. Taking care the kids, housework, and work...are tiring enough for some women. Yet they found out their husband cheated on them. Others' husband jobless and spent his time in front of compu 24/7. Some men hit their wives when they get angry. Although these women tried to survive, the question is how long till they give up and file the dvc? I have some friends who focused on their families, yet they finally divorced their husbands for many reasons, some mentioned above. Lots of women have less time to think /care about their selves once they have families. when I'm writing which I probably should clarify, is these young single women, who don't have those issues, who just bounce from one to the next in pursuit of vain things.
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Beyond...its not about some women being self centered. Taking care the kids, housework, and work...are tiring enough for some women. Yet they found out their husband cheated on them. Others' husband jobless and spent his time in front of compu 24/7. Some men hit their wives when they get angry. Although these women tried to survive, the question is how long till they give up and file the dvc? I have some friends who focused on their families, yet they finally divorced their husbands for many reasons, some mentioned above. Lots of women have less time to think /care about their selves once they have families. I don't care for guys who won't or don't work and expect to rely on women's money. I've seen guys who date women, and the woman has kids, and the guy has the audacity to go to the woman's house and eat dinner. I think if a woman has kids, if he wants to date that woman, then he needs to figure out first if he is going to regard and help her with her kids. I also don't expect a woman to prepare me dinner and do my clothes and all of the stuff some men expect. I often think, when women get all hung up about a man, she should think carefully about what and how that man expects things, because if he is the kind of guy who thinks a woman is suppose to take care of him, then she needs to be very careful about that kind of choice. Go for the man that helps, and go for the man who is willing to handle his business and be a contributor, go for a man, who is able and willing to see and appreciate the efforts and things that are being done. I also think women should do what they want to do, not limit themselves because some man expects them to. If she has hobbies or interest, then she needs time to invest in those things. I use to tell myself when I was younger, that a professional or artistic type of woman is good for me, because she knows and understand being busy. too many guys grow up thinking a woman is suppose to take care of him, and sadly too many women grow up thinking they have to take care of the mans home things, NO.... they need to share things, and they need to help each other, but also they need to allow each other and themselves to be themselves. Women are very resourceful, they can do many things themselves, but it does not mean they don't want help sometimes. When women feel comfortable to be themselves, they also become more comfortable to share things. anyone, man or woman will eventually begin to feel used and under appreciated if the other person is only a taker, but never giving, doing and sharing in the things that make up daily living. for me, I want to know what is her opinion about things, as well as what is the options she is interested in regarding things. No woman wants to spend her life being the mopping and cleaning Cinderella before she prepared for the Ball, and they don't want to go to a Ball and have to return to being the Cinderella who is just mopping and cleaning .
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My Father use to tell me, If you want a woman who is looking good for you and doing all this warm and fuzzy stuff, then you also better think about getting some house keeping help, so she can have time to look good and do some of these nice and warm things. I fully understand that !!!! I don't mess up much, generally when the woman comes to do the cleaning, mostly it is dusting, because other than my office, most everything else stays where it is suppose to be, and if I use it, I put it back where it is suppose to be. I know I make a good mate, because of all things, one thing I am, and that is "Considerate". I don't create or play the trip games, and I don't take people for granted. I also don't expect anything I'm not willing to give or do equally so. I don't like flighty women. and I don't like women who have no stick to it, when the life challenges are in the mix. I don't care to argue, because it pointless, if we see things different, go and do it your way, if it does not work out, then we will fix it from there. I'm not going to badger and beat someone down because their plan did not work, We will just fix the parts that need fixing and move along with what we want to do.
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I think living alone has a mix of much. But it would be nice to have a mate. I think in the over-all sharing with someone is a good thing, if people simply can do so without it becoming contentious or overly needy by one or the other. Does anyone remember the old football games, which had the metal tin board, and you set the little figures up on it, and turn on the switch, and the vibrations of the board caused the figures to move, and that was how the game progressed.  It was pure chaos. I don't think that kind of situation would be good in a relationship type setting. But I do think we all needs to have some type of mate connection which is interactive. I think I've gone long enough without being in some type of situation of relation.
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I think if people understand the many variables which can affect the parts of the body often related to the sexual aspects. It might become something to grasp to understand the realism of these types of challenges. Its where people may need to think deeply and build their relationship on the appreciation of the whole person. I noticed an article which was selling a product for women who go through the life change and result to become where sex is painful, as well as men who have the prostrate challenges which can have an impact on the sex life, sometimes for a short duration and sometime it may have long lasting effects. Some in both case may get better and be able to engage. And in some cases it becomes optional for them to adjust to the changes in order to remain together. Either way, health is important as the premier aspect of life, then one has to be of a mindset to grasp a concept of love, which does not smother out appreciation nor is it a single dimensional focus. As with life as everyone age there will be some challenges to face. But in the youth and sometime in the mid age range, people are unaware to consider these things. I watch older people and those who have been together for many years, as well as those who care for each other when one gets various levels of incapacity. These people would never have made it to continue their relationships, if they had not found something deeper in the over all of the whole person, whom they chose to be and remain being with. A lot of young people allow material and monetary things to destroy their potential to have an enduring relationship. some even allow their looks and their body shape to become a destructive elements in their potential for a lasting relationship. today there is so much focus on being pretty and having a gym fit body, until it sometimes comes with its own challenges, which result to be nothing more than how temptations push and pull when the focus is dominant in these physical imagery aspects. I do think good grooming is important, as well as one should try and maintain as best they can the over-all body mass. BUT, I see many people who are very Obese, who still maintain long enduring relationships. I see people with various disabilities who maintained long and enduring relationships. We never know what life will present. Recently we saw an Airplane vanish with many people who's lives simply are no more. We see people have horrific accidents which forever change their life, be it their imagery, their mobility and even their ability to maintain their sanity. It's unfortunate that when it comes to relationships, sometimes we live as if we have forever to make a selection to share living experiences with someone as a mate.
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It's unfortunate that when it comes to relationships, sometimes we live as if we have forever to make a selection to share living experiences with someone as a mate. Sorry Beyond, I do not agree on this.  If possible, I would jump in the plane or get everything done tomorrow to be with someone. But, we all know, nothing good comes in instant. Agree with the saying, "Good things come to those who wait. Better things come to those who don't give up. The best things come to those who believe."
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I think... when it comes to people, life, sex, and relationships. do it while you can! women may create many trips about sex, and come up with all kind of trips after sex. But for her overall living, she is going to be happier when a good sexual sharing relationship exist. don't wait on her to initiate or create it, because they have been groomed not only to lie about having a desire, they will put on every kind of pretense as if they are not interested in sex. It's the stupidest thing ever, but that is how it is. It's in some ways why women like the "Bad Boys", because they already know he is not going to fall for the pretense and the trips of denials, he is simply going to move forth and get some. And when he does he is not going to be tripping on all the on and off attitudes and eventually she backs off trying to play pretend and denials, and when he is ready she is ready and motivated by her own release of self from pretending shes not interested.  
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I wish they'd fix the damn picture so it does not cover up the text !!!!
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