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The Amazing thing is: "People" - within the massive delimma about.. "Love" It takes a long time to truly learn people as individuals. beyond our perception there is the facts of whom they are, by what they do, how they do it and the attitudes they hold about doing it, or having done it.. 'what ever that "it" might be. People profess many feeling and make many claims, as long as things are in their upswing favor for and toward them. But when the reality of life challenges comes, this is when the real depth of such individuals shows up. What is often exposed, is the shallowness of what people claim as love, ( because it is too often connected to the ego, material matter and social egoisms). Many claim they have loved or do love. Its far different for those who loose a mate by the advent of death which brings them to loose a love one. But, of the many people who continuously choose to break and throw away relationships, they once claimed they'd be in for the expanse of life. And a few years down the road, not only are they pursuing divorce, they become vengeful and greed driven and driven by a madness of self anguish, they want to rip, strip and take anything and everything from the other. It makes for a sad world when 'love is made into and of such shallowness". what we see is a lot of being produced without a "set" of parents, then there are those who after producing and claiming to love their mate, who spend years and then turn up claiming they are now homosexual. What a trip of a world the "human being" creates. rarely knowing anything about love, except what ' is of selfish satisfactions", regardless to the expense their 'selfishness impose upon others". Some break up and throw it away, because of monetary obsessions, and some even throw it away because of a lusting for "varied" things. I don't think anyone, man or woman should stick around for abuse and brutality. but not all situations are about abuse or brutality. Far too often today, its about lusting for something, be it money, material things, or the bodies of others and the fantasies they build in their minds about those faces and bodies. the end result is, they don't know any more about the persons with the body they lust for, or the face they lust for than they knew about the one they are leaving to chase this new lustful object of their fantasy captions. It might be wise for people "to talk about the things they try to avoid talking about".. as generally it is those things which build the rift, and still they deny it and blame it on everything else because they are not willing to learn, to grow and to develop any spectrum of understanding behind what they hold. some are simply selfish to the point, that "it's my way, or no way", and they become to shut down only after they have expend their manipulation skills to sway things to their way only. It is not wise for a man to be the follower in a relationship, because he may end up in places that is filled with nothing but drama and no reason or substance with the basis of the cycle he may find himself spinning. Various women have posted at various time, about the 'insecurities of women' not just in this site, but in conversation and by other means, about the various insecurities within women's lives, and many have seen displays of the acts of women against men and certainly against other women. All of which tells its own stories. Men may need to grasp a better understanding of what it means to be the head of household. it does not mean dictator, however it does mean that he has to support a system which has a base of fairness but is rooted in principles of integrity. Today too many men are too weak, and become too much of a puppet, and the end result is the woman loose respect for him, because he does not take the lead, nor take a stand upon his principles. when the woman can manipulate the man with sex and manufactured tears, each time she does it and he falls for it, she looses more and more respect for him. No matter how the social scene is made to look in movies, books and tabloids and these dime store magazine racks, It is and continue to be the "man who chooses". too many articles like to promote it as if the woman is choosing and the man has to make all these submission for her to make agreement to share life and times. Those situation rarely ever work out, because he did not make a foundational based choice, he submitted to whimsical manipulation and covert dictations of falling into agreement to be a patronizing provider for the changing whims she has proposed. The men who realize he is the chooser of his wife, then he will understand much more about how to make a principle based choice. Some men become fools chasing after faces and the shapes of butts, and he become "the ass", more than it is about the shape of ass, he has convinced himself to be chasing. Many women have no more concern about her sex organ than she thinks she can use it as a lure to induce a man to chase her. Once he starts the chase, both have already become looser, because there is no winner in that game. You may chase the ass, but its the person you end up with. Therefore, far and beyond the shape and look of the face or ass, it is the person he needs to pay attention unto within his aim to seek a mate. Today, we see how easy it is for some women to become hookers, call girls, pay date , rich mans toys, and the multitudes of these types of conduct, we see how easy it is for women to become homosexual inclined, money chasers, status chaser and material consumed. So, it is evident that men need to pay close attention to the character of the woman he is interested in. Look at any of the shows, "Housewives of _____, Housewives of ____ and etc. no matter how many gowns they wear or glasses of wine they walk around holding or how opulent of the house decor, what we see is a lot of bicker, backbiting, undermining and ego driven attacks and challenges, and rarely anything about the integrity and quality of character that is conducive to raising a family or building a peaceful loving home" Often its about, how to hold on to the life of ease that someone else is paying for, or how to play ego games of keeping up with or out doing the other in some material display, ego outburst, or some excessive spending cycle of material madness. We have countless 'so called" Reality Shows, which is primarily based on , bicker-fest, ego battles, and status pretentions, and delusion of grandeur and followed up with "I'm better than you games". Even their charitable work is done with an angle, seeking status or some ego driven aim. None of them have even anything close to have an interest to work, and if they do, it is displaying them as a 'tyrant" who gets off on putting others down or dominating over others with vanity and ego so dominant they take delight in being mean and abusive and conniving. All of which indicates, that for a man to select he first has to have principles, uphold integrity, and within his seeking stay based in the value of such things in his concept of choosing. Because if he is choosing based on looks and the delusion of some fantasy sex, and overly made up faces. he will find he has pursued his own nightmare, which both of them will wake up surrounded by the monsters of madness. Some men are deluded to think he has to be avarice driven to be a successful person and be a man. These men often find their lives going through one cycle of madness after the next. these men become easy targets, because he is often caught up in Avarice to the point he has blinded himself even of himself. he become easy picking for those who seek him for various material and monetary gains. He has become a fool unto himself and lost site that he is but a mortal man. (Now, let's see if people want to talk about open based reality, or will they run into silence as they normally do). Here is your opportunity to present, or discuss what you can and will bring to a relationship. you can dispel anything written above, clarify any mis construed statements presented, or expand and broaden the view points about any aspect of the roles and position within a relationship. Nothing above is cast in stone, so feel free to treat it apart, re-shape it, re-structure it, re-build it and what ever you think will express what you have and what you see can make relationships function better for men and for woman as a pair. I'd say, dare to assert your own truths as you perceive them to be. . Yes, the intent of the post is to be "provocative of interactive challenge and or input" lets see if people make the blog site interactively exploratory about subject matter of relationships... Since so many come on here talking about looking for a wife or a husband, and claiming they want to be so sincere and want someone sincere. Or is it just the 'scripted fluff and puff lines that we see on 100's of profiles. |
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Viktor Frankl in Man's Search for Meaning: * Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. * The more a man tries to demonstrate his sexual potency or a woman her ability to experience orgasm, the less they are able to succeed. Pleasure is, and must remain, a side-effect or by-product, and is destroyed and spoiled to the degree to which it is made a goal in itself.
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Chinese and other Sinic cultures - Re: Love Two philosophical underpinnings of love exist in the Chinese tradition, one from Confucianism which emphasized actions and duty while the other came from Mohism which championed a universal love. A core concept to Confucianism is Ren ("benevolent love", 仁), which focuses on duty, action and attitude in a relationship rather than love itself. In Confucianism, one displays benevolent love by performing actions such as filial piety from children, kindness from parent, loyalty to the king and so forth. The concept of Ai (愛) was developed by the Chinese philosopher Mozi in the 4th century BC in reaction to Confucianism's benevolent love. Mozi tried to replace what he considered to be the long-entrenched Chinese over-attachment to family and clan structures with the concept of "universal love" (jiān'ài, 兼愛). In this, he argued directly against Confucians who believed that it was natural and correct for people to care about different people in different degrees. Mozi, by contrast, believed people in principle should care for all people equally. Mohism stressed that rather than adopting different attitudes towards different people, love should be unconditional and offered to everyone without regard to reciprocation, not just to friends, family and other Confucian relations. Later in Chinese Buddhism, the term Ai (愛) was adopted to refer to a passionate caring love and was considered a fundamental desire. In Buddhism, Ai was seen as capable of being either selfish or selfless, the latter being a key element towards enlightenment. In contemporary Chinese, Ai (愛) is often used as the equivalent of the Western concept of love. Ai is used as both a verb (e.g. wo ai ni 我愛你, or "I love you") and a noun (such as aiqing 愛情, or "romantic love"). However, due to the influence of Confucian Ren, the phrase ‘Wo ai ni’ (I love you) carries with it a very specific sense of responsibility, commitment and loyalty. Instead of frequently saying "I love you" as in some Western societies, the Chinese are more likely to express feelings of affection in a more casual way. Consequently, "I like you" (Wo xihuan ni, 我喜欢你) is a more common way of expressing affection in Chinese; it is more playful and less serious. This is also true in Japanese (suki da, 好きだ). The Chinese are also more likely to say "I love you" in English or other foreign languages than they would in their mother tongue. from Wiki- en.wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Love
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I find it amazing all these people talk so much about their education level, but when it comes to matters of life and the realism's within relationships.. None of them have anything to say.
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when has anyone heard many or any of these women talking about what they can contribute to maintaining the expense of a home and herself and sharing that responsibility with a mate. Most have this aim of 'as they say", a financially secure man, and the 'well educated, means - a degree" by which they expect him to have a "high paying job". they could care less if he is actually intelligent or not, because he may have been a C- Student, with low performance and skills, because today, 'with Universities more in the business of selling degrees, than they are into educating people with specific goals, therefore anyone who accumulates the number of credits and pays the tuition will be given a degree. Ethics is the last thing of concern in the University degree sales game in this day and age. Now they have figured out they can sell 10 times more degree with online businesses, until now, they don't promote anything but "masters degrees', because it means "the university makes more money". Look at the basic logic of realities systems today. "everything is failing", except the 'stock market, and its only rising because of over speculation and playing trade games so far beyond the companies ability to earn, until its a pyramid scheme destined to collapse and cave in on itself to one degree or the other. Hedge fund managers buying $140 million dollars houses. that money is drained off and people seem blind to the fact that its not backed by anything, but speculation. It's about as fragile as the BitCoin, and we see how quickly it fell off the map. You practically can't give them away now. They Baby Boom generation screwed up everything, with greed chasing, avarice and they taught their kids the same, now their kids are running the show and doing everything they can to strip away everything the baby boomers greed collected, the Generation X want it all right now and they don't care how or what they have to do to get it. People Treat Relationships like they treat chasing a business deal. They come with the hype and drama of a Hedge Fund Manager, and they conduct the relationships like a group of speculators trying to drive up the price of a stock so they can cash out and let it collapse. Then call themselves smart by claiming they got out at the right time. never realizing to face the fact they used deception and divisiveness to play in the pyramid game which is all about self elation and greed gains. They will walk away from a relationship, as quick as those who walk away from a stable stock, simply because it did not have a spike in profit in a short span of time. they could care less about the stability, they only look for the wild spike in gains over a short span of time. When you read all these trips, of " I'm so romantic, I like to walk on the beach, I like to watch the sunset and all of the scripted lines. its like people chasing fantasies. Most of them could not even sit with a mate in the back yard at dusk and enjoy the softness of the sunset or the light glow of a rising moon. without expecting someone to be patronizing them by some means in some way. Generally, all that romantic talk is about some aim of seeking some self patronizing stimulation for their erogenous concerns and interest to be met by someone, Only if that someone is willing to pay for them to live free. , but then they are the first to claim that sex is not their aim, but behind the scenes, money, material things and getting patronized and stimulated to arousal is their basic pursuit. along with trying to get someone to pay their way in life through the bartering of this self centered aim. It's insane.
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I don't disagree....
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