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New research shows the value of friendships You probably know most of the "secrets" of longevity: Don't smoke, eat your greens, exercise every day, get enough sleep, relax. But this one may be new to you: Make more friends.  By Colleen Oakley A recent study found that people with a large network of pals were 22% less likely to die early. Other studies show that friends have a positive impact on stress levels and brain health -- even your immune system. (People with more friends have fewer colds). As you age, though, making friends isn't as easy as when you were a -- maybe because there's no adult sandbox to go play in. "Research shows that people make friends through repeated unplanned interactions," says Rebecca G. Adams, PhD. She's a professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. "It's not that we lose our ability to make friends as we get older. It's that we're less likely to be in situations conducive to friendship formation." The key to expanding your social circle? Break out of it. "Making new friends can be similar to dating," says Nicole Zangara, LCSW, author of Surviving Female Friendships: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. "To meet new people, you have to try new activities that interest you. If you like hiking, join a hiking group. If you're religious, try a new church. Get yourself out there."  But that's only half the battle. For an acquaintance to become a friend, you have to open up, which can be daunting. "As we get older, we're less likely to self-disclose to people we don't know well," says Adams, "but for a relationship to get to the next level, you have to reveal something of yourself." At the same time you're making new friends, don't forget the ones who have been there all along. "It can be equally difficult to maintain friendships over the natural transitions of life," Zangara says. "If you find that you're not connecting, bring it up, because they're probably feeling the same way."  I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun. Charles R. Swindoll Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day. Dalai Lama In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. Martin Luther King, Jr. Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us. Let's not be afraid to receive each day's surprise, whether it comes to us as sorrow or as joy It will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity. Henri Nouwen There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first; when you learn to live for others, they will live for you. Paramahansa Yogananda "Think of the blessing and grace you have each day, to walk about, to talk, to share communication on the internet, to have at least one meal a day, to be able to give or share something with another and the great opportunity to work at building friendships" you may not have the biggest home, or a fancy car or money in the bank but you have the grace and ability each day to express and share friendly exchanges. If you think it's not a blessing, think of the bedridden and other medical issues and those who have no means of mobility to do any of these things. Beyondfantasy |
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I guess the anguish in this site is so high, no one is concerned about 'friendship" and the great value it is. I find it amazing, people will fill up sites with bickering, but have so little to say about the virtues of building friends or the value of having them. if you think being friends means someone is to agree with everything you say or do, then you have already missed the understanding of what is a friend.
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