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What makes people "misconnect' Often times its as simple as not paying attention with the open focus !!!! being overzealous trying to win a person who is already there; and understanding they are not wanting to see you go through trips of "i'm gonna win you". They'd rather that you be yourself and don't come off as a patronizer, or a one who has discarded their ability to speak up and stand up, and certainly they are not hung up on you trying to be overly aggressive, and in some cases, being too over eager to want to be pleasing until you don't come across as natural. Many time when men see women who are independent, you can't match with her by trying to suck up to her with patronizing ways. She will quickly discount you as a mate potential. You pose nor do you bring any challenge to her, to work on being and expressing herself in the ways she wants. She will probably not be so motivated to connect. The same with a man, if the woman pose or bring something in her demeanor which is 'swooning like a sick duck, then he finds over time his ways not to want to be with her. Women are watching, if you come with a soft stand which you quickly give up your opinion and start trying to change it to appease her, she will see it. Women regardless what they say, they want to feel challenged enough to make her want to be her best and become better. NOPE, I'm not talking about the challenges of continual jousting, i'm talking about being yourself !!! Not being in some "i'm gonna impress and win you mode". If she is a do it yourself woman, then don't come off like you think she needs you to do everything for her. She will loose interest, because its as important to her to show you that she can do many things for herself. With men, women don't loose yourself by trying to be everything you think he wants, its best to be yourself, then you can be naturally whom you are, Men like telling other men, how much of a can do woman, that his woman is, and women like telling other women, how much he as a man is a can do man. I've seen women in this site, men fall all over themselves trying to prove that he is some Mr. Nice guy. but if you note, women cater to the guy who has some I'm a real person, can be considerate, but can have some I can make it alone as well, then she is more attracted to this guy, because he does not come across as being overly needed. Women want to win you as much as you want to win her, but both want to do it as a whole person, not some simulation of whom they are by trying to fit some image that becomes suffocating after a while. There's a whole lot that goes into the simple thing of being ones self. It makes for a better situation in the long term of things, because you don't have to fight yourself to change back into being yourself. Simple example: when the young women came on talking about a guy by passed her on Valentines day, and everything jumped on the "save the woman bandwagon", and even attacked the guy.. Most ignored what she previously said. She said she just liked the guy as in, a open situation, because she just wanted to hook up with him. but after everyone finished their 'save the woman" attempts, I said plain and simple. Why can't people accept that she just wanted to hook him up, and did not care about all the rest, and the only thing Valentines day did was bring to the reality, that she was not number 1 on the list, but technically she already knew that because he was seeing someone when she met him. No one wanted to accept that she wanted what she wanted, he wanted what he wanted and neither of them made efforts to commit the other to anything. But people go hung up on, Oh she's pretty she can't possible be that independent in her thinking and wants. I see it over and over with guys trying to convince the women they are some saintly virginal I don't want to get any kind of guys. These women did not ask you to come off in such a manner. Nor did they ask you to come off in a "hound dog" manner. they just ask you to be real with yourself and equally so with her, because it allows her to be real with herself and with you. GOOD LUCK IN YOUR MATING AIMS |
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I hear you, I don't play kiss up and kiss a++ to anyone, and I have no need to lie or play games, So, the post is really about letting people view a post about the fact, they don't have to go through any trips to meet, relate and build relationships. Just be whom you are. If someone does not like another, it does not have to become a problem one choose to adopt. Let that person gravitate to what they want and like. I don't patronize women just to be thought of as a nice guy, I compliment what I honestly want to compliment, or I say nothing if it is not a honest compliment. I don't see a need to play suck up or kiss up to any woman under any terms or situations. Hopefully people grasp the meaning of the post. "Just be Yourself".. that's what its about. Often many mis-connects come from being fearful, being less than honest with ones self, and a host of many other things. but for anyone, don't let looks or material things make you think you like what you really don't like, because if you look at the character and the soul of the person, that is what is going to tell you whom and how they are. There are no perfect people, that is a grand delusions, and every life has challenges, some different than others, but there is no life that exist that does not have challenges of some sort. It's good that people put effort to promote their good qualities, because habits make up life, and if the habit is to be and promote the good, that is what their life will shape itself around being, doing and living. We all work to become better in the living of our days, we come to accept things which we may have never thought would happen to us, and we come to learn to live with it, without diminishing the inner value of ourselves as being a viable and individualized person. For myself, in the past year, I faced things I'd never even thought about happening to me, but it happen. I can't undo it. But I also do not let it make me think any less of myself and whom I am. We don't know what the future brings. In the flash of a moment our entire looks can change, in the flash of a moment, our mobility can be wiped out, any number of things can happen. I read recently where people reached the aims of their career choices, and suddenly died. some graduated and reached their degree goal, and died the next day. We just don't know. The time we have, the options is to be expressive of whom we are and to learn and grow. We have those options. We can't fight about last years disagreement, and hope to enjoy this years gifts and blessings. so we have to know when to put things to rest and appreciate what is in the presence of now. If we carry a grudge, it only ultimately denies us things that might otherwise comes and enlighten and improve our life. does it really matter that one grew up dirt poor, if today they have a job and they are covering their expenses and trying to find someone to share the work and life with them. No. It might matter if one grew up dirt poor and they only want to chase wealthy people. That is a problem they bring upon themselves. so if that's what they chose, then they get what they get. Love is love, plain and simple.. one can fight it or embrace it. that too is an individual choice. some try and control it and some try and manipulate, but love being what it is which is love, it will bring those to face themselves and what ever abuses to love they sought to engage. They can't escape that. When they face it, they move along and may do well to find and embrace love, those who try to manipulate and deny such, may find themselves fighting themselves at each turn when love appears on the horizon. What makes people "misconnect"????? Often times its as simple as not paying attention with the open focus !!!!
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If a guy is simply attempting to take a woman to a hotel room and she is into one night stands, then simply tell her whatever you think she wants to hear. After all, the type of woman who is into one night stands is probably as big a liar as you are. Honestly, it does not make any of them less than they are, they just determined that is what they wanted to do, and they wanted to do it without no stings attached. If both independently agreed, then there is no lie, they just told each other and shared what they mutually wanted to do. That has been happening in life since the beginning of life, but generally it does not define the person's whole life. (unless of course, they get aids or something which then aid, become a defining point in their life).
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