beyondfantasy3 113M
2003 posts
11/15/2014 8:21 am
different strokes for different folks, how do you like to handle yours?


Why is it if a man has a job and the woman has a job, why do some men feel they still need to give the woman his money? It's as if he is paying her to stay, or he has to give her a weekly or monthly stipend for her to have interest to stay.

If that is the case, then I think she can leave when she wants to, because If I have to pay, then I will buy one with those 'specific terms", and we both know what the terms are.

I have no problem giving and sharing things with a woman, and if I WANT to give her some money, there is no problem, because its something I WANTED TO DO.

If she NEEDS some money, because she ran short, No problem, but don't make it a weekly or monthly habit..UNLESS she has had some unplanned expense that just overwhelmed her.

I don't care what she buys with her money, but if she has responsible bill in the arrangement, then make sure to cover her bills first. Then if for some reason she wants something and it will consume all her money, but she still needs pocket money, No problem.. But don't let it be a weekly habit.

for the guys who like giving women a weekly, bi weekly or monthly allowance, more power to them.

Now, if a guy does not want the woman to work, that's his problem, then he needs to make sure she has money available to take care of her personal things and some of the things she may want which she could get if she was working. But since he does not want her to work, some of that stuff he might be assuming responsibility to provide.

I'm all for working women. I don't see where I need or want a woman who does not work. it can be a craft, a lucrative hobby or something, but she needs to have something to do that she can invest herself in doing.

If I just want a house keeper, I will hire one. I don't need a woman to be a housekeeper. but I need her to have a mindset that we need to maintain an orderly and neat home, and I'm willing to help with that, because she is not responsible to clean up any messes I make.
I know how to put clothes in the washer, and how to put them in the dryer, and those that go to the dry cleaners I know how to take them there too.

beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
11/16/2014 8:23 am

    Quoting beautifulkayra:
    When I am in a relationship, I offer sincerity and good intention.
    It never be a problem for me who would pay, because I trust the person I dated that he would pay if he had money.

    Even though I am a woman and quite conventional (believe man should pay..)
    yet I do not mind to pay the bills if I have money.
    There were times I paid most of the bills when I dated my high school bf, because at that time he was still a student when I worked already.
    Some friends who I met during my US trip could confirm that I paid some bills when we did things or had meals together.

    What I do not like is when people take things for granted.
    That's why I do not do it to anyone.

    I try to keep myself busy, because I believe we should spend our time wisely.
    Working is my way to thanking GOD for the health I have.
    If I have to choose?
    Rather than ask for money, I would rather give money (for those needy people).
This is the nature of balance that I'm talking about. It's pitching in, not expecting, sharing, not demanding, and being in a relationship with a basis of sharing as a core part of ones self.

Not expecting things and certainly not taking anything for granted nor allowing others to take ones giving and sharing for granted..
Over all will make for a more balanced and mutually respectful relationship.

Yet, being busy with something is a gift, for having the ability to be and do so and actually doing it.


beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
11/16/2014 8:23 am

    Quoting Trusty05:
    Been there done that but not in 20 years or so. I learned my lessons a long time ago. This may be one of the reasons they came and went since.
Sadly, there are a great many who do not grasp the lessons of such things as they move through life and relations.