| Blogs > beyondfantasy3 > Many Perspectives of Attitude |
|
Do your really know why you pursue the mates you seek? Do your really know why you pursue Asian Women? Do you really know why you pursue Western Men? It's a simple questions as it seems but it is bigger than one may imagine. Yes, Diversity Mating Pursuits is a good thing, GLOBALLY. But for many do you know what drives your change in cultural and ethnic mate choices. for some it may be money, it may be re-location and such things. But beyond those things, for those who do not have those as driving choices. Do your really know why you pursue Asian Women? Do you really know why you pursue Western Men? Many will probably run from this questions, but you can't run from it within yourself, because you will have to face the motivations that drives your choice at some point and time. The sooner one comes to terms with their motivations, the more positive their search may become. |
|||
|
Life is interesting, I've lived with and shared time with women from many cultures, and ethnicity. As in youth I grew up with my first loves being had and developed with various black women, where I learned a great deal about the feelings, passions and devotions of what is loving. I moved to Los Angeles at 18- and there was all type of diversity when it comes to women, and beauty, charm and all such things were in mass abundance. I learned among any ethnic group one can find someone they like. it's going to come down to what are the character and demeanor traits one likes, what is the integrity factor in the person one chooses. These are a few things. But it also comes to what people find to be the focal attraction with their eyes. I spent time in the Hollywood scenes, I met people in a variety of levels of living, I spent time in the beach communities, and saw every imaginable shape of charm and attractions, and I worked in an industry where women from around the world came through in high volumes. When I considered white women, the confusion became, did I want a blond or brunette. Over time I found that I liked the dark hair. That also fit with the image of Asian women, the Latin Women, the Hawaiian and the women from various places with dark hair. And that became as confusing as any other choice. After meeting women from all these various places, and various categories, it always goes back to the character traits, the demeanor and the integrity. I learned young with black women, about understanding the stability factors within women's sense of self. as well as to appreciate the "can do" nature that is within women among many other things which helped shape the understanding of character, demeanor and integrity. These are things better learned early in any mans life. So when he ventures, he comes from a foundation that helps keep his sensibilities from being overcome by, the flairs of beauty and charms many ways. Next came the fact that I was more attracted to slim women, women with small breast and not very large rear ends. I met women with big breast and big rear ends and they were just as nice and sometimes nicer in general social than some of the thin women. I found very large women to be very friendly and easy to engage in conversation as they were more motivated to be engaging in dialog. All these things does nothing but confound the matters. Although I know that my choice would not be a big woman, I found I had lots of big women as very good and long term friends. It seem their friendship was much more durable than the friendships with thin women and much more durable than friendships with the general full breast, full rear end women. Still I liked the slim and thin women.. So, in the mass of all the options and all the choices, it still came back to the character and demeanor traits and the integrity factor in the person one chooses. The hair color is what it is, and once I dated a beautiful Canadian woman, who had nice blond hair, and one day I came home and she had dyed it a brownish red color. She was the same woman, but her hair was different.. after a while the hair did not matter and it was still just about her as the person she is. So again, it comes back to the character and demeanor traits one likes, what is the integrity factor in the person one chooses. Then there was the allure to the 'thigh gap", well and long before general society even began to pay attention to it. So it became about thin women with the thigh gap and flat stomach, but the character and demeanor traits one likes, what is the integrity factor in the person one chooses. was still at the top of the list. I dated women who did not have the 'thigh gap", but they were thin and had the character and demeanor traits one likes, and the integrity factor that was again, the constant. I watched how women use their hands if they move them with grace, I watched the way the walked and how natural it was or is. and how the demeanor is on a general basis, such as being a generally positive nature and a happy like disposition. Through all this, it's simple now, I like slim figured women, with or without the thigh gap, who have the character and demeanor traits I like, and the integrity factor that is comfortable and constant. They can be from any place, and any ethnic group, as the situation of what the eyes see that pushes attention and communication connects... it either will be or it won't be. I do look at Asian women with high interest, especially if their general demeanor fits with what I like, then I can find out about the character and integrity of her as an individual. I'm not in the lest bit interested in whether she has a degree in anything , but I like her to be a positive thinker and with some self motivation about what she wants to do. If she has a degree I will support what ever her degree is if she has it but it is not a criteria that I focus upon. I don't need a maid, nor a cook or house cleaner, I can hire that if I need it, but I do care that she is neat and order and likes a organized living environment. I'm not into "messy" and "unkept"... the big difference now, after all these years, just in the past year, the most absurd crazy thing was that the surgery and dealing with the aftermath of the treatment process, I don't like it, but there's not much I can do about it after the fact. Except file a Suit which I will do. It is not even timely for me to consider selecting a mate until I find out what is the function level, as well as what woman I meet who understand the nature of what life brings in the mix of living. On the money factor, I don't have a lot of money, nor do I care if the woman has any or a lot, but I do care that she has something to do, that she likes doing or keeps her busy. In the level of life I live, it takes working, therefore if we want more than we both have to work more to have it. I've had money beyond what was needed for basic living, which afforded me to do and get many things. but I also found those things get old, they need maintenance and after a while one only has so much time and often not enough time for a vast excess of things. When I had 4-5 cars, it was a trip just thinking of which one will I drive today, and how will I park them to make it easy to make a choice. (that was a luxury problem, more than something that is a real life challenge in daily living). I've never had a luxury home, but an average working persons home. which is what I have today. I have what I want in it, but its not opulent nor luxurious. It has the basic comforts that I've come to relax with. Now I have 1 car, and one bike, there is not much choice about what I drive, except some days I may ponder if I should take the bike or the car. I don't have the accessibility financially to do traveling, but after the past year challenges I've not been motivated to want to do traveling. I work a 8-5 which pays the bills,I'm very good at the work, but as with people and life, I think I should be paid more as I can use the additional income. I can generally eat what I want, repair what needs repairing and working on finding ways to invest something, even if its a small amount, I buy clothes that I like, and I've never been into fancy dining or high expense dining, it just was not something I had much interest in. I do like nice stuff, nice places and I'm not interested in back alley dives and unsafe environments. I don't like crap stuff that does not do what it is marketed to do, but I won't over pay for things just because of name brand. I want it to do what it is advertised as being able to do. I think people have more need to pay attention, than not to be attentive in what they do. I do like to laugh, but I'm not much into just plain silly stuff and I'm not into anything that is death defying stunts like stuff. But, I will face what I have to face in the flow of living. As for aspirations, I have the aim to team-work in building something on the tech side which I think is a good thing. So, in simple terms at the moment, my interest is to get my home office cleaned up of all the paper and bring some order to this room,  so I can think and work on the projects I have interest in doing!!!!!I think good working and solid companionship is a great thing to have. I don't do the "compete" thing, I'm not out to win anything or anyone in that type of trip. So if a woman brings another guy in the picture, then I exit the scene, because he would not be there if she did not bring him. Life is more simple than we think..... if we think.
| ||
|
over the years mostly, I come here to read things people write and to write. People are often less interactive unless its a 'bicker fest", which I generally do not get involved in those. I like writing political stuff, as well as life/relation things. but often times, people don't want to deal with the stripped down reality of that. many talk about love as if its a fantasy sequence, and omit the nature of work and functional engagements that is necessary to build what is a relationship. At one time when I first joined I use to go through profiles and pictures, but that's not something I put much time into. I've communicated with a few people over the years, I found them to be very nice and genuine individuals, who were sincere in their sharing. As time and finances changes, I made no attempt to make it any more than communication, As I think, when one starts taking up another time as if to claim relationship, then there need to be means and modes to visit. In basic, its only a plane ride away. But it takes the expendable resources to do so. My other focuses and challenges did not make provisions to choose that option. I don't put on fronts nor make claims of having what I don't have, I don't waste my time playing 'let's pretend". I'm now dealing with a whole new dynamic of thing, that never was though to be something I'd contend, but I also know none of us in life get a rubber stamp that says we will not face challenges of sorts. I rarely pay much attention to the profile section, which is why I have not considered to do any updates.
| ||
|
life goes in those many pathway, for some it works and some it does not, as well there may be cultural elements involved in the matters of how they make their choices or how they stick or don't stick. I know many people who've divorced, as well as I know people who have long enduring relationships. Recently I was talking with a friend from work, he was telling me he has been with his wife since they met, they frequently meet for lunch, he also talked about finances in which he said. they put their money together, because its important that they trust each other. He talks about when he wants to buy things that he will discuss it with his wife. generally she is in agreement with him and is glad to see him get the things he wants to get, and he feels the same about her. They don't go the wasteful route of trying to impress others, they just want and like what they like because it suits them. It's a good example of how and why people can and do stay together. He takes good care of himself, but he is not going to go chasing other women, because he likes the one he has. They've grown together, without letting situational fancy and temptation bring a separation of what they originally wanted in each other.
| ||
|
that's about how it generally works 
| ||
|
Very good understanding 
|
