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The flip side of jealousy Comparisons can be risky – even harmful – when it comes to matters of beauty, body image, and self-esteem. Comparing your own traits to those of your peers and friends often leads to confusion and upset. Comparing your own traits to those of strangers and celebrities often leads to dismay and disappointment. And just about every time you compare your figure, face, hair, body, or proportions to those of someone you’ve deemed prettier, sexier, or somehow superior to yourself, you inevitably trigger jealousy. Jealousy is awful. It’s an energy-sucking, life-draining emotion that often spawns anger and despair. But it’s also an instinct, and a very strong, natural one that’s nearly impossible to eradicate. Hopefully no one experiences it all day, every day, or feels utterly consumed by it … but I’d wager that most people feel a surge every once in a while. So I’ve been thinking about ways to turn that sporadic jealousy around to make it less harmful and more beneficial. I’m wondering if you’re very, very careful, if you can’t extract something positive from comparison-based jealousy. (from article "The flip side of jealousy" by: Sally McGraw a Minneapolis-based freelance writer, blogger, and personal stylist) It's unfortunate in this site not only is there too much jealousy, but there is too much of many non productive dispositions. People attack each other overtly, others attack covertly and some by resistance to engage commentary on blog post, to the down right insults some may toss around to and about others. It's such an insidious cycle and a negative dis-positional manner, until it often takes more away from the perp, than it adds to them. No one has to like everyone and it will never be a world where everyone likes everyone. but we must know that there are elements that play into it, from resentment to jealousy and many other thing we engage to make our assessments and choose our disposition toward and at others. None is exempt from these factors which exist in human reality, though some may have more or less than others of such, and some may manage theirs in a more non threatening method.... Why these things exist is as many reasons as there are people. But, the better we are at coping with such things, the better we are able to get along in a somewhat congenial humane manner with each other. |
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Beyond, Agree that no one has to like everyone.. What makes different are.. Some people do not say anything when they do not agree or believe what were said. While some others? they laugh, made negative critics to others. I see it is ok for constructive criticism, sometimes it help us to do better next time. Negative critics? I see it nothing except jealousy. But we always have choices.... I choose to make friends with those who bring smile and happy to make friends with me. Those who are not? I will not spend any second for them. Not worth of my time. Nothing wrong with that. 
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I don't use the word friends a great deal, because I value the word so I can't say I have lots of friends. I know I am not one to be motivated to make associations with people who are blatant publicly rude, or people who are contentious and certainly I don't care to purse associations with people who diminish their integrity with absurd acts and actions. It does not matter if people have money or no money, but I do care that they have good character and good integrity within it, then I can associate. I've never been one who is moved by people who have this "suddenly, I'm your best friend" come on. I've met a couple of women here who are good persons and genuine in their individualism and I appreciate them. Some guys who have in the past shared exchanges, maintained the character they first presented as being positive. I'm happy to see others get and have what they want, but I don't cater to buffoonery. I prefer interactive people, who have interest in truthfulness, ethics and such things within their manner and content. I've lived here now 10 yrs, I can count the people who have been to my home, and it was likewise so when I lived in California. I've known too many people who have an angle to want something, or develop envy about something and have a slanted bit of jealousy about something. I was very artistic in many areas when I was younger, always worked to get what I want, and had no problem creating things and simply giving it to people if they wanted and appreciated it. I probably should network more, but I'm careful about my associations, I could be very wealthy if I was more loose with associations, but I'm skeptical of people who have hidden agenda's. I get along well with the people I meet,
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As much jealousy and envy that exist in this site, only one person has the dignity to comment and respond.... Appreciate your honesty "beautifulkayra" not to run from topics of realism.
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Agree, jealousy is a very mean thing within to have to live with.
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No worries, Beyond. Am not a person who is good in saying sweet words. I say or do something sincerely. Am more than happy to share my thoughts with you, as you did mine frequently. Have a good week.
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I hear you, but often times it is not just women who can make a relationship crazy with jealousy, there are many men who can be just as damaging to relationships.
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