beyondfantasy3 113M
2013 posts
9/7/2015 3:28 pm
The vanity of youth.


One would need to spend time visiting a rehab facility or a nursing home, then they can grasp what is more important than vanity. Old people struggle daily, just with basic health and mobility matters, they learn to live from within themselves, not what they think vanity can delight them about.

Most have no idea what as individuals we take for granted, until you see a volume of seniors who have lost many attributes and mobility factors as well as their basic sanity. One would need to see the fear of lonesomeness that invades their days and how their nights are not spent fully sleeping as one would think about in their youthful times.

One may even find out that sex, of all its time consumption in the younger years becomes something far distant in the concept of a day and what is the life within ones days.

Of things, since I had the surgery and it affected ED, that too, has presented a focus that does not readily go to the sexual aspect of living, but in the values of integrity, character, skill management and working on living healthy. It brings an awareness of the fragile nature of people, especially those whom rely far too much on sex, the lure of sex and the pursuit of sex. Many forsake so much within their lives all about sex and its pursuits and self assessments, and they never can know fully to understand what they forsake until they reach a point that it is not the driving force of their days and interactions.

One would need to review deeply the word "Vanity" to grasp what it encompasses and how much of ones daily life it consumes.

1ClassyLady 68F
3289 posts
9/7/2015 8:46 pm

Time waits for no one. We will be older and weaker by time.

My mom had been in and out of hospitals, nursing homes and my home numerous of times for her last 3 years before passing. I know how "old age" can take away a strong person's pride.

About 1.5 month ago, my banker friend had a cataract eye surgery. The eye doctor done the surgery fine, but the anesthesiologist said his heart beat irregularly and sent him to ER immediately and he stayed in ER for 5 hours. ER did EKG on him and told him that he had irregular heart beats and advised him to see a cardiologist. So the banker went to see a cardiologist and been diagnosed as "Atrial Flutter" and probably needs a pacemaker in the future. After those things happened, he emailed me the whole situation. I called him up "Why didn't you tell me you gonna have an eye surgery? I could drive you to hospital and take you home." He said "you are too kind. I didn't want to tell you because I don't want to show you that I am a sissy." He said he didn't go to work for couple days. I told him to retire, he said he might think about it and will reduce workload.

Getting old is frustrated but nothing we can stop the clock. So far, I don't have cataract eyes yet. The banker is 7 years and 2.5 months older than me. He used to be very healthy and eye sight was 20/20. Now one of his eye has been covered after surgery. He said his eyes are fine only a little discomfort. The big problem is his heart. The cardiologist prescribed him a new "blood thinner" drug called "Xarelto 20 mg", but he refused to take it. He said he is fine and needs to go to Spain for his older sister in Spain to celebrate her 70 years old birthday. So, off he goes to Spain.

He told his cardiologist that he has ran L.A. Marathon for 3 years in the roll and already paid for 2016 marathon. The cardiologist told him "don't run marathon anymore". He maybe will quit running marathon.

He has his freedom and won't want to have another marriage. He emailed me "you are very smart and I like to keep in touch with you." "But I enjoy my health and freedom. I still have many things need to do and places to go." However, he encouraged me to buy a Mercedes to enjoy life that I hard worked during youth. He has driven all kind of fancy cars before, now is my turn to enjoy some luxury things.

Unfortunately, the stock market plunged lately, my money has stuck in stock accounts. This is NOT the time to sell, I don't want to sell at bottom. I still have some money to buy stocks or hold. So, a new Mercedes has to wait for a while.

I don't have vanity for luxury things but I know I am NOT getting any younger and I still can enjoy the rest of my life. I saw my mom die and she couldn't take anything away (she saved money like most of Chinese). I still have time to enjoy something I never had before. We all have HOPE, don't we??




Honesty is the best policy.


beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
9/9/2015 5:21 am

Even before the surgery, I went many year without pursuing or engaging sex, it was a conscience choice. As Woaini said, I realized early all the turmoil that pursing sex, without truly getting to know the woman, would and could and in some cases did result in unnecessary challenge. I chose that If I could not appreciate the woman as a whole, then I'd not pursue her just for sex. When I'd travel, I did stuff, and it was done with clear understanding that it was what it was at that time in that situation. I never had a problem with potentials women being interested in me, but I also know that it is important to be wise in selecting whom one invest time with. that few minutes of pleasure can result to many months of trying to fix what was not fixable.
I'm content with myself. I did not go into a major tail spin of despair or any of such things. I tried to have nerve sparing surgery, but they waited too long to do the surgery, and it led to nerve damage and then radiation also added to that. I have a pending suit for negligence.
I've continued to go on doing what I do. recently i presented some project concepts, which led to the local officials recommending me for a position change, I met the new director who offered me an opportunity.
I was never a woman chaser anyway- so nothing is really different about how I live. I like women who are considerate, graceful and who are self inspired about how they live and involve their lives. I think its such a beauty and it is a good sign that one can have a more depth built relationship.

My big concerns is my mother, we had been to the hospital every 2 months with her illnesses, she is now in a rehab due to a recent stroke, which caused her eyes to get out of alignment, where she was seeing doubles, THANK GOD, her eyes have mostly re-aligned. She has lots of medical things over the years but overall she is doing much better. I'm trying to get her to move in with me.


beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
9/12/2015 8:45 am

I could share some info which would be good for guys and women to know.