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Relationships: Various Scenarios of Realism as One Ages. ( I posted this on a site, where the topic was: The increase of people over 65, getting divorced) As people age, they can and will find what often many won't admit. They should have found the means to make adjustments in themselves, and work with their mate to make mutual adjustments in how they interact, communicate. As people age, they can and will find but often many won't admit; They should have found the means to make adjustments in themselves, and work with their mate to make mutual adjustments in how they interact, communicate and live, as well as make modification to their expectations about what is the realism of their lives at an advanced age. Go to any of many Senior Complex, and take note of the multitude of singles, some due to death of a spouse, some due to life breaks that result from the trauma of divorce, and many many things which bring people to find themselves single at an advanced age. In many the Gusto is diminished in their lives, they no longer have the body image to rely upon, the face has changed, and the concept of sex has met with the realizations of changes that come after the procreation years have come and gone. These are life changes people often omit to give the due regard to consider in the openness of self perspective and perspective of their mate. One cannot go back and re-live their youthful "glory days" of being sexually driven, or absorbed in the vanity of being on the lure stage of appeal and imagery, as it is certain for each and all, the cycle of youthful allure and its manipulative years fade into a realization that as self and individual, it is "the Character", "the personality" and the combination of such in all that makes up the integrity of the individual is what becomes important. Health and health issues become an impacting reality of which non can escape nor get a rubber stamp which omits them from these challenges. This too, is included within the "Vows" one takes. How well is it understood when and as the Vows are being addressed on the wedding day, some may well need to give pause to consider this factor. In your senior years, it is not the who will be by your bedside daily, but it is your mate, who remains constant in the bedside and of daily care with and for you. Often Times, the will have their lives, their work and their many things and some may live in different states, but it is the mate you worked within your life to maintain relation with, who is the one who is there. In youth, learn to be clean, orderly, considerate, responsible, develop a sense of grace, and work to be healthy and with a sane focus to be an honorable individuals, and learn as your age, to be less driven by vanity and vanities expectations. As well one must learn in their years of live, and certainly by the age of 40-50 to put sex in perspective as they age, and realize it is not and never was, nor will it ever be a 'fix all" proposition or function. Thinking and understanding and coming to terms with these things, It just might change people’s concepts and lead to far less of the divorce scenarios, as people must come to terms with what is 'regrets", and realize due to people living with regrets they contributed to creating, but won't take responsibility for their part within what they regret. They will make miserable their own lives clinging to regret. Some even try intentionally to make another life miserable due to the regrets they won't let go of. This is constructive misery of which they work hard to guarantee upon themselves on a daily basis. People need to realize how they drag out misery, Example: "what difference does it make at such a late stage in life, that you did not get a teddy bear on your 5th birthday, is it any reason to make the rest of your life miserable". Every life takes its course, "day by day", Hold on to grudges and anger will certainly make your tomorrows less desirable than it could be, if you let go of grudges and diminish the anger into understanding, then one can have better opportunity to manage their shared day by day dispositions, and one may find their life unfolds with a more peaceful and graceful existence. Many many people destroy their tomorrows, by holding on to things of anguish for years upon years, some develop grudges about what they did not get, or what someone did not do at some long past time ago, until they just continue to make each day more miserable than the next. Some get so anguished, and assume that they can find someone who will submit to their whims, as their concept of a good relationship, rather than realizing, that it is a "give and take, help mate reality, that gives a relationship the opportunity for continuing longevity, and diminish the concept of people being controlled by past grudges and past anguish about something which has long gone past. So many elders long for the warmth of having their hand held, or a hug, or many of the simple things which is often built and made to be part of their aged years, but working to build a sense of longevity which gives and connects their life with another. This can be made and built equally so after one looses a spouse to death or divorce, in working to rebuild a relations which can appreciate the lives of each other in their later years of living. Don't let the delusions about material things bring your world to crash into divorce, nor let the lust for money become the point that drives divorce to overtake your living. Love is always work, and those who embrace the work mutually as help mates, find divorce the least likely thing they will pursue. Its sad how so many speak the vows, and over the course of years, they ignore to remember, as some actually never truly understand the meaning of what they have spoken as to Vows. Marriage is designed to be 'Work", as love is a work of growing, learning and sharing what is one’s life and times, trial and errors and the many things that come and go in the duration of living. Anyone who does not accept marriage to be work, will have a short lived marriage. Anyone who thinks "that work" should end, finds divorce, because divorce is the point where the work ended, to build and grow the love into a mutual unified help mate realization of continuing to build what is the ongoing work of "Loving'. Think AND Grow ... is always an ongoing realization within living. One can fall victim to the new age of thinking one should have a rose garden life, but even if one does think such, they need to realize, roses need pruning, the weed-eating must be done, and all the works it takes to make the garden is the same works it takes to maintain having the garden. If you think it’s someone else job to maintain the garden, then realize it is someone else who will have your mate. DON'T RUN FROM THE SUBJECT, BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE YOUNG FOREVER. |
