| Blogs > beyondfantasy3 > Many Perspectives of Attitude |
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If you are 50+ (This questions is suitable for Man or Woman). If you are 50+ What do you think you will get with a mate in their 20's? If you are wealthy, what do you think you will get? If you are an average working person, what do you think you will get? _____________________________________________________________ Do you believe in giving up 1/2 of your life earned resources to someone after 5 or so years of marriage? What happens if a is born? if the relation fails, there is support, and in some cases if she/he does not work, there is alimony/palimony? Perhaps the relations reaches the 20 yr anniversary, What might the relation become when one is 70 and the other is 40? | or, one is 80 and the other is 50? Do you think many people will stick with it or what does the odds present? How much does one consider the relation to be or become when there is an age difference which spans more than 20 yrs. How would you feel being 70 yrs old and paying someone who is 50 yrs old a monthly amount, when they choose a NEW mate who is 40 yrs old but own't marry them so they can continue to get the monthly amount from the 70 yr old?  It's probably true that some people some place in the world, are dealing with these very question today. There is a website called "The Good Men Project" (dot) com it list some success stories and speaks of couples who are happy in these various scenarios. |
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As longs as I've been on this site, most people over the years, avoid "reality based questions", they prefer slap stick things which does not require much in-depth thinking. It's almost as if many talk about depth, honest and all that stuff, but they really just want 'fun and good times" and have no thought of the reality concerns, Then they whine and cry after they run into reality of a broken down situations, and claim everyone is a gamer, but they omit to see themselves as being a gamer too, because they avoided the reality perspective. so many are looking for "fancy', but won't admit it, and they try and claim their infatuated fancy is love, Then when loves truths come to the table, everyone's ready to flee and blame the other. I find over the years, this site to be quite shallow, especially when so many people come here and boast about their level of Education and their Degree. They forget Academic's don't function well to manage a relationship, unless one truly has learned the principles well and abide by the ethic's which support the principle..
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It's great if people can stick with whom they choose. Today, so much things in the media push so much vanity, it takes special people who actually choose because they 'truly care' to stick around. This is true for same age people, as well as people with wide age spans. I always dated younger women, I don't have a problem with the age thing of women being younger, I did learn when I was younger I did notice that the women did not have the stick to it mentality that I preferred. But now that I'm older, a younger woman for me is one in her 40's. With my challenges now, its a bit more difficult to find someone who can have the capacity to understand, But I still like women who are younger than I am. I just don't put any effort into seeking out a mate, because I know me, when I choose I want to stick with whom I choose. I guess one could say, I love deeply. I was never interested in jumping from one woman to the next even when I was young. The main thing that matters to me, is that she is with me because she wants to be. I don't like to try to "win" women, or any of that stuff. I just choose and get busy building from there. I have friends who's women got sick, they stuck by her, and I know guys who place their woman as his number one. I'm that way. So for women who can't make a firm choice and stick with it, do no interest me. The guy who recently offered me a position, is leaving, because his wife did not move here, so he is giving up the job to move back to where his wife is. I watch the senior citizens because my mother is in that category, I know that through life, people are far better off to pick a mate and stick with the mate, because as we get older, that is and will be the one who is and will be there.
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I don't think its hard to really build a good relationship, I think people simply need to be with a mindset that everything is not going to be perfect and each will have to make adjustments. I think it really important to be mindful of what one says when they get angry, because somethings are better left unsaid, until they can be discussed in more reasonable atmosphere, rather than in the middle of an argument. I do a presentation to new hires once a month, I tell them, be careful how they manage their emotions, and learn their co-workers as best as they can, I talk to them about life reality as well as how that translates into work reality, because its all part of the same reality. I don't care for women who like to 'threatened to leave" if she does not get her way, or if I don't give her some particular thing or do some particular thing. Why would I want to be in fear of her leaving because of selfishness?!!! Some of the stuff people break up about, many regret it months and it takes some longer, but time tells the truth and makes the truth come to the surface. It's ones self who has to face and deal with it. So people should be careful about throwing their relations away about situational things. I don't need a woman's money, I work and I don't live extravagant, so that kind of stuff is not important. It's hers do what she wants with it. I don't need a massive house. I'm not trying to impress anyone, I just like to have what I want, a clean place and comfortable with the things I like. I don't have a problem helping her get the things she wants as well. I don't compete with guys who have more material things or more money, because its always someone with more of something. I found when young the best way not to be led astray is don't go out and play with temptations. I don't deal with a lot of people on a very personal level, I have a few friends and I'm not out trying to be "Mr. Friendly as if I'm everyone's buddy". that;'s just not me, never has been. I develop associations easily if that is what I want. but More people are interested in being more closely motivated toward me, than I am toward them. I think making friends is a responsibility that should be two ways and not one of need, greed and such. I don't need anything from anyone, except the mutual social and civil respect. If its not there, then there is no need for me to be there. I like women who are basically happy in the nature and spirit of themselves, who is with social manner and social graces in respect of herself. I certainly like women who present themselves as 'clean" !! Be kind, be helpful and be genuine about how you live. It makes for ones life to be simpler in the over-all.
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Hope you are feeling better. I had not seen any post from you and wondered what happen. Be Well and stay focused on the health. I can understand the challenge to mate finding, its difficult to find people who want to be understanding and make the efforts to be understood. I don't know what is in the air of society that brings such challenges to the something such as what should be a simplicity of building relationships. I think people focus so much on options they can't choose, and they can't find ways to be at peace and comfort with their choice when or if they make it.
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A very good attitude.
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