beyondfantasy3 113M
2003 posts
1/2/2016 6:38 am
Very frustrated


For the past 6 months - She has been in the hospital to rehab, to hospital, to long term care, to rehab, back to hospital.

It has been a disaster, seeing her work so hard, struggle and suffer so much. It went down hill after my mother went in for a surgery, August. they damaged her kidney She ended up of dialysis as a result of the surgical damage.

On New Years Eve she passed away, while on the dialysis machine.
.
The day before the first hospitalization in July, she had bought a car, she never got to do anything but drive the car home.

So much happen within this time it is very frustrating !!!!!!!

To each and all, if you have a relative in the hospital, challenge the doctor!!!! don't just accept their vague commentary]. Challenge them to do better! and keep challenging them !!!! Force them to talk, contact patient advocate, and any level of administration, because far too often (except in ICU, but make them also tell you what is happening with "details" !!!!)
In general they seem to just go through the motions and try to talk as less as they can.
Don't accept their vagueness!!!

My mother was my best friend, we talked "everyday" _ its very much a spiritual gap and hole of emptiness the minute they said she had passed. I have to work to fill it with the memories of her life and the good will spiritual nature she always expressed.

jhonny1580 67M
78 posts
1/2/2016 3:22 pm

Sorry very deeply I know how you feel.


beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
1/3/2016 6:15 am

Thank each of you very much, your thoughts, words and feelings are appreciated.
It's an emptiness to deal with the realization, I am thankful she lived 83 yrs, she has seen and at times help care for her Grandchildren, spent time with Great Grandchildren and had time to enjoy them for periods in between the challenges.
She loved to cook for the family. she was grateful for the small things. I will miss our talks and spending time watching old western movies, going to the movies and more things that I can mention.

To everyone, share the time that you can, when and while you can.
Again, Thank you to each of you.


angelspirit48 50F
53 posts
1/3/2016 6:51 pm

Sorry about your lost , my deepest condolences to you and your family .

Do take good care of yourself .


beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
1/16/2016 6:36 am

Thank you each, and my sympathy goes to each who suffered such tremendous losses.
I watched my mother go through the last 6 months of one challenge behind the next. She was a very wonderful woman, and seeing her laying in bed so long was not the life she lived before this. Once she was normally up in the mornings, she did not head back to the bed until it was bedtime at night.
She fought through many many things. My concerns range from the concerns of care by the caregivers, to her mental state of esteem and her mobility to all things concerning her life and my love and care for her.

Sadly, we all will come to a point of death, we don't know how, and we don't get to choose what it entails.
We had the services last Saturday, and now I work backwards from the pains of the recent times, to deal with getting to the many things in her past of smiles, good works, and all the things that made her life.
It all makes one learn and re-learn many things, it brings the things one want to say, but can't, and reflections of so very much.
I can't call her daily, or hear her voice and such. but I can work backwards and remember all the wonderful times of her life and understand even better the challenges she overcame over the many years of her life.