beyondfantasy3 113M
1991 posts
2/6/2016 11:27 am
What do you think about "Money"

Do you think your attitude and thoughts about money stand in the way of mate selection?

((Many will probably say not, but think about it in the real terms of what your ideals encompass, and then respond.))

Around the world there are many income level, who knows where you fit except your own self. It's probably not advisable to disclose what your asset value is in a web site.

When one see profiles which speak about like to travel and various other things, that is something that is secondary to the monthly expense of living. Then there is the basic's of expenses, be it car, utilities and other personal use necessities in the climate of many lifestyles in many places. (Though there are places where people don't truly require a car, especially when public transportation is with good design.

1. When seeking a mate, for women, do you factor in your income as a contributing element to provide the lifestyle you seek, or do you look to the man's income to provide you the lifestyle you seek?

2. When seeking a mate, for men, do you factor in your income as a contributing element to provide the lifestyle you seek, or do you look to the woman's income to provide you the lifestyle you seek?

Are you the type who considers both incomes to be part of making the lifestyle you seek to live?

Are you the type who is seeking someone to take care of you?

Across the world there is much talk about "stagnant wages', in some places with economic challenge, there is the "Pay check" to "Pay check" living situations, If you are in such a situation, will you choose a mate who is in the same situations?
If such a situation exist, are you willing to work with a mate to combine incomes to make it better for both in the relationship?

Do you pursue "high end goods and products"? Or do you pursue products that "fit your budget and provide the function you seek"?

These are many question that become REAL in relationship, and often times they are as real in high income relationships as it is Real in lower income relationships?
"money becomes a matter in so many relationship, even when people don't directly make the verbal expressed statement of money being the matter of discord".

When relationships break up, if one entered it with no money, and the other has money, do you think the one who entered it with no money is entitled to money from the one who has money at the point of break up?

Are you as motivated to share bedroom activity when the money issue is present in the same way you would share it when there is available money present in the relationship?
Do you get more involved in sex when it's close to "pay day", and less involved when it farther from "pay day"?

It is better each person become real with themselves about money as it relates to relationship, than to pretend it is not even a vague thought.

Some couples share fully and some do not, long term couples who build their resources together, often communicate about their expenditures before they go out and make them, they over time learn each others habits as it relates to money and the expenditure of it? For some it makes the relationship solid and trusting, and for some it makes the relationship fragile and un-trusting as it relates to money and the over-all relationship?

Do you give yourself an allowance, or do you just spend until it becomes a concern?

Not only people seeking relationships, but even ones must learn what their attitude and disposition is with regards to money.

What is your thought about a "Challenge Situation Fund" for some they call it a "Rainy Day Fund"....?

Do you choose your mate based on their financial standing?

Do you think that money situations change? are you prepared to work with a mate if the relationship experiences a sudden change in fiscal resources?

1ClassyLady 68F
3289 posts
2/6/2016 8:42 pm

I like the guys who have "Knowledge" how to manage money and like to travel. I am very lucky to have a daughter who is in a post-graduate medical school out of California and met a banker CEO/President/Chairman who taught me a lot of knowledge. I am a "doer" not a "talker".

I am a retired pharmacist since July 2009 in order to take care of my mom full time who had osteoporosis, spinal cord surgery, multiple bone fractures (ribs, hip, pelvis), rheumatoid arthritis, ... It was tiring to take her for doctor's visits. I had to put her wheelchair in and out of my car many times, feed her food/meals ... later on, even changed her diapers. The banker told me to hire a Filipino to take care of my mom and continued to work as pharmacist, but I felt nobody but me could do the best for my mom. I am the only child and obligated to take care of her. But my mom passed away on Sept 20th, 2013.

The banker couldn't persuade me from quitting my pharmacist jobs. He said "prepare for Retirement". He told me to sell house in early 2007, so I did sold in June 2007 one year after I have known to him. I trusted him. I went back to Taiwan to sell my family house in Jan - Feb 2011 and wire the money back to USA. I asked the banker how and where to invest in Aug 2011. He said "Now and in Las Vegas". Because casinos open 24 hrs and have 3 shifts for many jobs and those workers need a place to sleep. So, I went to Vegas and bought 5 houses in 2011 and came back and emailed the banker. He said "you are the queen of Las Vegas". I sold two out of five in March 2013 (6 months before my mom's passing, so that I could pay for her funeral and medical co-payments and bills).

My daughter has "scholarship" and saved me $70,000 per year tuition. But I still need to pay her apartment rent and give her allowance to live. I also pay her car insurance (family plan) and cellphone usages (family plan). I am a very lucky mom to have a daughter who will be a MD in a little more than 1 year. She will start to make some money when internship and residency. It is a very long journey to be a MD. (She got double degrees on psychology and neurobiology for her pre-med on 3 scholarships)

I found out pharmacy won't hire me back since my mom's death. I have lapsed too many years and no longer young to practice in pharmacy. The recruiting personnel asked me "where did you work for the past 7 yrs?" I can't give him a good answer.

The banker said "Las Vegas is too far, buy property in Los Angeles". So I use the sold proceeds from two Las Vegas houses to buy two in Los Angeles. Now I have stable income from rent. Real estate investment has been good for me.

Stock market is volatile and unpredictable, sometimes very scary (like this year). OMG, it has been down since day one of 2016.

We all need money to live. It is a necessity of living. I don't have pharmacist stable income anymore. Investment has risk and reward. I have a daughter in medical school and a son in college. I still have my responsibilities to help them.

I went to some seminars to learn about "Retirement Plan", "Social Security Income". I am thinking to take my Social Security check by 62 or 65 (more money) when my age is there.

BTW, my banker friend just retired this year. He has more time to email with me. We talk about election, politics, stock market, the economy, .... He knows much more than me. I told him Joe Biden decided NOT to enter to presidential election, so I quit to vote for anyone else.

Honesty is the best policy.

1ClassyLady 68F
3289 posts
2/6/2016 9:00 pm

I have NEVER got money from a marriage, I gave away money. However, nobody will get my real estate properties because I have "living trust" for my two children. Pre-nap is a must. I made one mistake before and learned from it. I posted a blog about 50 / 50 relationship as my neighbors. They each own their properties, but pay 50 / 50 for living cost in a join account to pay mortgage, utility, property tax, insurance, .... If divorce, one get 50% fair and square. If one died, the survival gets ALL. They each has "Will".

Honesty is the best policy.

beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
2/14/2016 12:50 pm

I think money is a great tool, one of necessity within the world we live, as well as one that has the means to provide a great many conveniences. It allows us means to do many things.
I think it less desirable for it to be used to infer status, or expect it to give us privileges over and above others in the concept of being respected as individuals; ( sadly in a material and vain world it sometimes has such effects).
It can be a detriment if flaunted and abused, or used as a magnet to attract the undesirable, but it can be a wonderful thing to help bring comfort, joy and even conveniences in the lives of others.
I've been without money, with money and with what I need to cover myself. Each category, I've found that I have to be myself, with or without it.

Usually, when I put money in my pocket, I end up using it to buy things we all can use at work, or giving and using it to help someone in some way, buying lunch for the women I work with, and just going to the store to get various things I feel want and need for daily living.
What I learned is, to manage it, to allocate it with respect to what I generally do with it, and not to go out and buy things I can't truly afford, or to waste it on thing that I probably won't have time or use for on any frequency to justify the expenditure.
I went from a point of over spending for the lifestyle here the first few years I was here, now I understand better the cost of living, I have one car rather than multiple cars, Its older buy I like it.
I buy movies, shirts, slacks and shoes, as a treat for myself, but I have filled up the closet, so that's not a big thing at this point to have any urgency to do.
I do sometimes wonder, how does it get away so quickly, but in truth I know, but it still seems sometimes an oddity.
When I had lots of money, I also found much envy from people, not that I told them anything about the money, but they assumed much. When I suffered many losses, those same people seemed more happy about it.
I'll get lots of money again, its just how life is.
I don't deal with lots of people anyway, and those who had that on and off attitude I don't see them frequently.
I think people with money need to be aware and not be gullible, nor should they be hoarders either.
I don't think its good for a man to overly give women money, nor for a woman to overly give a man money. It's best not to become a lending institution, and certainly it is best to not gloat about it.
money can cause people to create many assumption about the one with money, so its not something one should go around telling others they have.

Today, life is taken by others over simply a few dollars, so, it certainly is symbolic that it can become a reason to guard ones living and be with open eyes when and where they go about.

(Recently in the News, a man approached another at a gas station and asked for money, the man said he did not have any, and the criminal, stabbed him anyway).

I like having some more than I like not having any.....

1ClassyLady 68F
3289 posts
2/19/2016 12:20 pm

Money is essential, necessary to survive, to live more comfortably. I still have responsibilities to help my daughter to finish her post-graduate medical school. I still have obligation to pay the mortgage payments, house and auto insurance, property tax, .... and whole lots of bills.

I am NOT rich as my banker's friend but I am content what I have accomplished.

We only have one lifespan to live. There are so many places to see, so much things to learn, so go travel !!

Honesty is the best policy.

beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
2/21/2016 9:34 am

I think we all like having monies, and we certainly have self maintenance responsibilities.
The more money we get, in many ways it comes with responsibilities. Its a responsibility to care for it and protect it, as well as its a responsibility as to utilizing it for positive functions.
There is no "free money" !!!!!!

If we look back over the life and times, money has been and continues to be something that drive people in many ways to do many things, good, bad and otherwise.
Each person has to come to know what their individual thoughts about money is.