beyondfantasy3 113M
2011 posts
4/10/2016 5:18 am
"sheng nu" or "leftover women"

from news:
As part of skin care company SK-II's Change Destiny campaign, the brand produced a video that challenges the Chinese notion of "sheng nu" or "leftover women" — a term used to describe unmarried women over the age of 25.
Since being posted to YouTube on Wednesday, the roughly four-minute long video, which features emotionally charged interviews with young, unmarried women, has been viewed almost half a million times.

China is a very OLD CIVILIZATION, the point that should be gathered is the value they place on family. These women are taking a stand to say, not rushing to marry just to marry does not mean disrespect for family, it means they are not interested in marrying for the sake of duty, they want to actually have an interactive love with whom they dedicate to live their lives with.

beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
4/11/2016 7:32 pm

I saw a woman and a man exit a dining facility today, they gave each other a slight kiss and parted to different vehicles.
The woman was parked next to me. I complimented her car, it was a 2016 Mercedes 550 Series.
She said: He gave it to me as an Anniversary Present, , then she showed me a ring which may have been 1 or 1.5 carat .She said with a heart felt smile, they had been together 29yrs
I have a friend who celebrated 38 yrs, and some I work with have been married more than 25 yrs. some even more.
They are settled minded, speak fondly of their mate and just great people to be around.

One young woman, her mate is messing around, and had no idea how much the woman loves him, and he's chasing nothing, about to destroy what he has.

I have very good regard for my friends who've maintained long term marriages,

I remember a guy who lived near me in Ca, said one day, by the age of 32 if one has not done all the single stuff they wanted to do, then what are they waiting for. He said, by 32, one should be ready to build a relation with someone while they still have years to make a family.
I think he had a good point.

I've written things about, why it is good to marry young, I even think often times if people knew what they could make possible in their early 20's by being married and sticking with it, I think more would marry in their early 20's. But society today does not have that understanding or maybe not that wisdom or something.

I think for me it would have been better in many ways If I'd married when I was young.

It's like life, one has to sacrifice the frivolous to build and have something meaningful.

It seems today, everyone is expecting some Mr. or Mrs perfect which is merely 'FICTION", it does not exist. what does exist is the bond and beauty of a developed Love.

It may not last forever, because things happen, people die and many other things, but those who don't "throw it away" gain the blessing of a long loving relationship, if they stay positive within it about themselves and their mate. I did not say, its smooth and a summer sail on smooth waters, but it is certainly a journey.

from my experience, I think we make too many presumptuous criteria and then we hold too many reservations about too many expectations. ultimately we rob ourselves of what we could otherwise build at to a relationship. I know this in myself, because I never married, and now I may never get the 25-30 or so years of what a developed relation can make. I look at my son's mother and she has been married now more than 40+ yrs, I think back, it could have been me with such longevity.
I am happy to know women I've been with went on to have long lasting relationships. It tells me they were the good women I chose them for being, I just did not commit what maybe I could or should have. I accept where I am in life, and what of life I have is still open to love.

Some people seek out money, material things, status and all such stuff. it becomes a life goal which is never fulfill-able, because the want for more is a consistent viewing of things and stuff.
the Internet is good and bad, the bad is people get hung up on the volume of options. Some get hung up on the volume of images and then build many fantasies about many images until nothing is satisfactory, because they are holding a reservation for the next best thing to come along.

When my son went through a rough spot with his wife, I told him, stop listening to a lot of people !!!, do you want the woman?? if so, pay attention to what she is saying and express yourself, deal with your heart and mind your soul and honor the feelings of love, make the adjustments and get on with it. She is an Attorney and he is in Real Estate, he won top honors in the region, and she is a well respected Attorney in the region. They made it through the challenge and bonded back together. I am proud of both of them.

beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
4/11/2016 7:39 pm

I believe within myself, if I'd married young, not only would I have a long relationship, I would be very wealthy as well monetarily. I've always known that.

No matter how it is thought of in life. "Two" is better than one being alone. !!!!

beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
4/12/2016 3:24 pm

I just want to share that the words "two" is better than one being alone, is not always right.

Certainly not, if they can't and don't get along. It is better to be by ones self than to remain in a continually contentious relation.

but, when people "work together" - that's what "Two" is better than one being along, actually means.

I've had friend try to match me with people they considered was their idea, some even listed some things they say they think would be good for me, but what they did not consider is, "what are my choices and wants in the matter".

No we can't determine the future, but what I mean by "I'd be wealthy", is that within a relationship, if mates work together, its' likely that I would have made some choices different with regards to finances when it required that I consider my mate and their thoughts before I engage investment or expenditures.

In my concept, if one is married, they don't go out and spend or make investments without discussing it with the mate, because their choices can and often do have an impact or sometimes benefit or loss factor for the other, and the other should have some say in the matters that have potential to affect them.

When I do something, I would do my best to get the best results. from reading your post, I'd say that is a good statement about yourself based on things you've written. I like the idea that you like being a helpful person to community and friends.

beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
4/16/2016 7:04 am

I think people should be free to choose a mate of their choice- it does not matter if its across ethnicity options, economic or education and such. It matters that people WANT to be together and are DETERMINED to invest themselves in their relationship.

It may not fit with the ideals of others, but it does matter about the ethic's of whom they choose, for themselves and in general for any offspring's they may produce if that is a variable in their relation.

I do have some areas of concern, because I can't see why people commit themselves to a killer who has been given a life sentence in prison, or a killer who just has not been caught, or a thief who is committed to being a thief and such socially negative characteristics.

I'm more so talking about the average person who is trying to be a good person, who is willing to work for a living in honest and honorable occupation. Whether its high title or no title, as long as its honest work.

I can't digest the idea of some "arranged marriage", it just has no logic when it comes to the individuals involved in the marriage.