| Blogs > beyondfantasy3 > Many Perspectives of Attitude |
|
Why is it so hard for this generation? Why is it so hard for women to choose a mate in this generation? Is it because they are focused on options? _______________________________________________________ Decades ago, women seem to have had far less issues with choosing a mate and far less demanding criteria of particulars that practically void out any potential suitor? It's today almost like "perpetual" shopping !!!!, Decades ago, when there were few stores and the selections in the store were not with the confusions of today, they could shop and make choices. This generation today, where there is store next to store and more stores down the block, women seem to shop all day and claim they can't find anything they like. It's as if when presented with options, making a choice and even sticking with the choice made is so much more difficult for women in the society of today. I do see somewhat of a difference in smaller towns/cities, the women don't have such difficult finding a mate, choosing a mate and even staying with the mate they have chosen. Here in the South, the women don't seem to have such a problem making a choice and building a relationship with someone. When I lived in California, the women who were within the communities they grew up in, they seem to find a mate more easily than women who lived in the city who tried to canvass the whole of the Los Angeles region. Again, it just might be when faced with too many options, people find a greater difficulty choosing. This conditions in some ways seem to impact women who have money, women who have university experience, and women who have careers. Then compound that with the current day media - the rapid change of fashion and what is so called claimed to be fashionable to do, where to go and what to entertain, it appears the choice is even more difficult. It's almost like taking a in to the candy section, they get so excited looking at the options, even when they choose a piece of candy, they are concerned about all the pieces they did not get to sample or choose. This is a problem both guys and girls seem have in segments of society today, especially in certain age groups. Now with the Internet, it may even confound the matter more than help the matter of mate selection. I notice too here in the South, something I wrote about long ago before they wiped out my blog. The couples seem to be comfortable with the simple things of life, the make family build friendships and a network of family and friends and their mate and they seem to understand, they can't have everything and certainly not even try to have everything all at once. I think its horrible in some situations where people have money and come through the university system and play in the circle of alumni pursuits, everything seems to be wrapped in an incessant pursuit type of framework, more than a settled build a relationship and make a life and put in the work to try and keep it together. It's almost like nothing is ever enough !!!! Look at the guys who come to these sites, in some ways when I first came, some of the guys wanted the seemingly country girl who liked simplicity, but now it seems they encounter city girls who are caught up in looking at all the options and simply window shopping on a multiple variety of websites not to mention what they may be shopping in their physical environment. One member here when he talks about women, he seems to say he likes looking for the Chinese women who are likely new arrivals with a limited circle and who has not got yet caught up in being overwhelmed looking at options. It's rather interesting??? |
|||
|
But option is on both sides, isn't it? Not only females have the options but males too.  .... I addressed the matter of both. "It's almost like taking a kid in to the candy section, they get so excited looking at the options, even when they choose a piece of candy, they are concerned about all the pieces they did not get to sample or choose. This is a problem both guys and girls seem have in segments of society today, especially in certain age groups. "
| ||
|
one of the greatest thing of shopping nowadays is not only choices, it provides 30 days money back guarantee too. We can try and return if it didn't fit for purpose.   this post was written to get people talking, so maybe we can find out together as a group, what is the impediments to finding mates. 
| ||
|
I know am not that strong when it comes to relationships. Am quite easy to cry or sad when I get hurt. That's why I try to be careful. I do not want to hurt anyone, that's another reason. Once I decide to stay with someone, usually takes forever to leave. That's why I have good relationships with most of my x. Not only the person, but families too.
| ||
|
great ideas  First of all, give all male members hearing aids and female members mask with no mouth openings.
| ||
|
there are 'shopping cart '' too and you can return if you do not like the man you ordered as well. thing of shopping nowadays is not only choices, it provides 30 days money back guarantee too (these are funny)  ___________ I do not want to hurt anyone, that's another reason. Once I decide to stay with someone, usually takes forever to leave I certainly understand this
| ||
|
There is nothing wrong with being careful and as a matter of fact, any lady who relocates to a foreign country and decides to date a stranger, had better be careful. You state that men who prey on new girls who just came to America are just players, if they don't want to marry them, is a true statement in some cases. There are many Chinese women who are here who are content to date and are not interested in getting married to the first man who takes them to dinner. If a man dates her and decides they are not compatible or he is a confirmed bachelor, if questioned about their future, most will not lie and state they wish to get married if they do not. After all, the lady always has the right to refuse anything that makes her uncomfortable. Most Americans do not kill their dates as I have heard of men being killed as well but everyone, as you said, needs to be cautious. A lifetime with the wrong partner is a slow form of death. Until you meet the person and spend time with them, you won't know them. Even after being cautious, in most countries, 35% to 50%+ of all marriages fail. It s wrong for men to prey on the innocent but understand that we men are deceived too. You would be surprised at how many married Chinese ladies are here dating American men. A lady who leaves the country of her birth, travels 8,000 miles to a foreign country where she does not speak the language, is not gainfully employed and knows she has to work twelve hours a day in a restaurant or massage parlor, has little money and has to live in one room in an apartment and a substandard one at that, is a very courageous woman and I don't think any woman with that kind of courage would be easily preyed upon unless she would be vulnerable in her own country as well. Men in America, for example, are much more attentive to women than their counterparts in some Asian countries and some ladies become emotionally attached very quickly. I have had ladies from China bring up the subject of marriage in an amazingly short period of time. There are certain areas of this country where dating customs are more traditional as they were years ago, Big city environment is entirely different. The pace is fast and so are the ladies. Everything is relative. If I were a lady I think marriage would be way down on my list of future goals because everyone, such as yourself, knows of many failures and few successes. The cost is high for both partners if you make a mistake.
| ||
|
Internet meeting and dating people should be very careful - Some idiot killed and hacked up a woman recently. There are people who set other up to be robbed and many things. I don't know what the recipe is for success, but it is wise of anyone man or woman to be careful. This does not only go for internet, but even meeting people in bars, or many places. People need to be with care in their choices. Keep your financial information private, and keep your money in your pocket, and with all the people doing all kind of things, people need to be careful whom they sleep with, because there is not only a lot of diseases, there are lots of fanatical people who show a whole different side of silliness when sex is involved. This goes for men and women, as well as women who chase women, and men who chase men. A friend who is a therapist once told me, that sometimes women who chase women, can and some are very brutal to the women they catch, some will kick the other woman's butt in a flash of a moment. and if she thinks the woman even looks at a man, she will go ballistic, and some do the same if the woman looks at another woman. She said, some of those relationship are more brutal than that of brutish men who abuse women. People have to be careful regardless if its in the physical world or the internet world. I simply can't understand anyone who gets ripped off sending money to people they met on the internet, whom they have never seen. I can see a reasonable birthday gift or such as long as you have DEVELOPED and honest relation, but people who send many hundreds and thousands to internet met people, should just as well "burn their money and watch the ashes fly away".
|
