chloe66 57F
82 posts
9/29/2011 6:56 am
What is your wish list for a spouse?

A good communicative person because without that I can't think of growing old together. But not one who is too talkative
a good looker
a good communicative person
with 'enormous' wallet / purse
a great cook
all of the above
none of the above


tml1963 60M

9/30/2011 4:25 am

I'll have 1 of evereything! communication is most important the rest are just and added bonus if they happen to exist in one person.


beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
10/1/2011 6:26 am

some of what EZ said, except I put my own socks and shoes on.. I can do my own cooking, and lots of other things for myself...
but, she certainly needs to be a person who has 'self motivation" when it comes to the bed things.
Neat, clean, and maintain her body mass in a slim and well maintained condition. she needs to care to groom her hair and take care of her skin.

As to communication, It really in some ways comes down to what EZ wrote in the magazine.. women in (general) and in many areas are not every motivated to engage intellectual discussions about world matters, not even local matters of policy and politics and such things. their nature of concerns are by life process somewhat in general different from men. So when people talk about communication, I think first we as people must be aware of the differences in what women communicate about, and what men communicate about. If we don't grasp that, then we will result to claim the other does not communicate well.. which is not always the case, it is more a matter of different aspects of focus about what a topic concerns.
God made woman to be different from man, and God made man to be different from woman.. they see and acknowledge the same things in life, but they view it from varying perspectives.
men may think logic which may direct his emotional, women may think emotional which directs her logic. Often times, as people, man nor woman has the patience to let conversation evolve to be inclusive of both, therefore they often times do not find that they stand on common ground when the whole picture is encompassed. Our problems is, we as people can't manage our emotions to the degree we think we can. and that can lead to not just arguments but disconnects on a wide variety of points, because we simply don't have the patience. Likewise so, we don't have the skills to manage not only our logic, but equally so the emotional placement within our percepts of logic.

everyone likes what they term as beauty, but equally so, beauty is many things to many people, but equally so, many things about many people can present levels of beauty when maybe the features don't fit the Televised dictation about what is claimed as beauty based on media propaganda and promotional pageantry.

therefore it is important for a woman to be her individual self, and not be controlled solely by media and promotional infections of media pushed vanity. the nature of vanity to insure one puts their best efforts to present themselves well and maintained, is a good thing. But they may first have to come to terms with, what is her own style of being so.

If she has a problem and issue with sex, then there is a problem in the relationship - Period !!!

I don't care for women or man as a individual who thinks their world is all about money.. so it matters that a woman treat people as individual, not based on the material trapping, but on the quality of character that one has.

and Yes, it is highly important that a woman is and maintains a sense of awareness and management of "tact". in how utterance comes forth.


beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
10/1/2011 6:13 pm

life is an interesting thing between men and women... some make a relationships last a lifetime.. and some do not.. some men, after the loss of a relationship have challenges in ways and some may not get into a new relationships... the same for some women. It's not a good scenario for either in the big picture of life.

I think it is somewhat of a different kind of challenge for women, and it is equally so a different challenge for men... in what they face when they get older.
I see so many people when I visit the senior complex, the women are alone and the men are alone.. they relate as friends, but for some reason they don't seem to be making couple relationship with each other in high volume.

I see many older women in the grocery store, and some who may have lost a husband to death and maybe some who lost their husband through a break up. But what I see sometimes, is a more fragile nature of some women, and some I see who are in a somewhat anguished demeanor.
many of them will speak and many speak shyly, but some are energetically engaging.
I think its important that as men, we be certain to be as kind to older women as we are to younger women. they can't control their aging, just like men can't control his.. but in a social situation we have to be wise and human enough to have the depth in our dignity to treat both young and old women with an engaging appreciation as persons and individual. \

when I go to visit at the senior complex, the older women have the best sense of humor one can imagine and some have the funniest stories and some have the best jokes that will have you laughing all day. Many older women are very well dressed, and they are very well groomed in the time they take to put their attire on for the day. but what is truly interesting is many of them have the most generous personalities,

I often time make sure that I think about what it means to age and change in life, because none of us know what might become to exist within our lives. But what is important and what will always make a big difference is the effort to be mindful to be kind and pleasant to others.

I may not seek out older women as a mate for a relationship, but I certainly have met many who are wonderful individuals and fun people. the funny thing is, many people do not see themselves as old, even if they say they are old.. their days are days, just like young peoples days are days, and they come one at a time.
but it is something to be gained, learned and appreciated for the women and men who have become old... because it is evident they have learned something, to keep living and maintaining themselves over such a span of time. Most always acknowledge how blessed they are to be alive, and they always take time to acknowledge and thank God for their living.

It's such an unfortunate thing, that being young makes us as people such of foolishness when it comes to learning to appreciate others, and sometimes even our selves. I'm not so young at this stage, but in the big picture, I'm not so old either.. because I see so many people who are in their 80's and 90's... which means, I've in some ways not only reached half their age.. which means there is a lot of living and many changes within doing so ... I can only hope that health, sanity and well being is a continual blessing in living... We learn much with living, if we take heed to appreciate not just ourselves, but each other as individuals.


beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
10/1/2011 6:22 pm

I do think if some of the younger women would take time to actually read and not take a denial mindset about what is talked about in these post by the men, they will learn better how to not only find a man, but how to keep one when they find him. but unfortunately many woman avoid these magazines, because there are things they don't want to hear and some times don't want to face. because they think they can out wit the man, or some of the younger ones think their looks and body and the game of sex can control something,. Ultimately they miss the learning they could gain. Each man that has posted here, has the same theme .. and that is, when women don't try to manipulate, play and make games, use or abuse, and chase money, that the man is open to relate. men are not interested in bickering women, nor women who have drama about everything, and argumentative demeanor when they don't get their way. Why that is so hard for many young women to digest is the oddest thing in life.

But maybe there is something to the old saying " that a good man, makes a woman into an honest woman... if she is willing to appreciate and respect the good the man is seeking to share of himself.

Women already know they are conniving when they become conniving, but for some reason they will continue it until they defeat themselves. Its the oddest thing in the world... but it happens.


beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
10/2/2011 9:47 am

    Quoting chloe66:
    I guess each individual has a choice to choose the path they paved for themselves. It's a road which they have chosen for themselves, be it good or bad it is up to the individual to find out by oneself. It always take two hands to clap in any relationship.
That is of much truth, but it is also a very beneficial thing, to learn from the mistake of others, as well as the wisdom of others, than to make the mistake which may be more detrimental because one did not heed anything from anyone, and may well could have avoided some mistake.

There is no mistake proof living, but people read, and pay attention to learn, and it is by utilizing what is available to be learned that benefits individual in living.


SugiDancer 62F
127 posts
10/10/2011 1:47 am

When I was married, I chose a spouse that was a good cook, friendly to my relatives and his. He also was good in fixing things at home with his hands. He lacked good communication skills though and threw temper tantrums.
Any good wife would try to train their husbands to also do whatever they wanted for them to do. He wasn't good at navigation, so I need to choose more wisely next time around if I get remarried. He would need to be able to be sensitive to my needs without asking me too.

Sugi Dancer, Dating Coach


beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
10/10/2011 4:47 am

    Quoting SugiDancer:
    When I was married, I chose a spouse that was a good cook, friendly to my relatives and his. He also was good in fixing things at home with his hands. He lacked good communication skills though and threw temper tantrums.
    Any good wife would try to train their husbands to also do whatever they wanted for them to do. He wasn't good at navigation, so I need to choose more wisely next time around if I get remarried. He would need to be able to be sensitive to my needs without asking me too.
you said;
"Any good wife would try to train their husbands to also do whatever they wanted for them to do"

"He would need to be able to be sensitive to my needs without asking me too".


what does that mean ?

from the way it reads, it would indicate a great degree of selfishness on your part. ???


just1realguy 65M

10/23/2011 6:32 pm

You need to start with communication. If you have communication, all the others will follow in their importance in the relationship. "Talkative" does not mean communication. Communicating means sometimes keeping your mouth shut and your mind open.


just1realguy 65M

10/24/2011 6:40 pm

Amen, Chloe! Simply "being" with someone you love is communication enough.


Miss_Hope 45F

7/28/2012 4:24 am

I wish if a have a boyfriend i can have with him a good communication.
Talking about everything what is important in life.