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should you stay in bad marriage for sake of your ? |
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Since my divorce, I've been meeting other parents with young kids, teenagers at home. I have one friend who did get a divorce and she Has a special Needs kid. She's struggling and without the financial support from your Ex-husband, she probably would be on Welfare. Kids adds joy into people's lives, but they are a big commitment and Financial Burden. My Ex-husband thought so, so he refused to have kids. I stayed with him for years regardless and stuck it out, feeling miserable. I stuck in out even though we didn't have kids. So the burden adds to the couple's stressors, if they don't make much income at times. However, poor people are happy with many kids running around, but struggle financially. They are the working Poor, who have two jobs to support their kids. Sometimes the dad doesn't see the kids at all like in the case of my Ex-boyfriend's dad and my Ex-husband's dad. Both had big families, grew up low income and didn't see much of their dads who were working all the time. People do stay together and maybe live separated for years because they have kids. I met one women at a house party, who's kid was just two. She was lucky to get out of the house and have her Ex babysit. I can't imagine trying to date again, while having a small kid to take care of at home. Unless you are rich enough to have a nanny or get free help from relatives you won't have much free time to go out. Unless you take your kids with you on the Date. But it separation creates more problems when they go out and meet other Singles to Date. I have a couple of friends who have been separated for 7 years, but living in separate states. It's their choice because of the kids, not to get an Official Divorce and they are also insecure about making that decision. Where as, a lot of people rush into marriage without knowing the other person. There should be a waiting period of getting married like 2 years of getting to know the other person's annoying habits. I don't want to get remarried again right away and deal with annoying habits of my new partner. I have new found freedom now as a Single person again. After 5 - 10 years if I find the right person, I might get remarried. But I'm too independent now. I may have to be more dominate to speak out though. I didn't while I was married before, which was my problem in communicating and staying in harmony with my spouse. It's a Japanese custom or Japanese American cultural value, to stay in Harmony and not make too much waves or sweep things under the carpet. I don't sweep things under the carpet while employed at work though. So I've had difficulties with White supervisors. Sugi Dancer, Dating Coach
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