SugiDancer 62F
100 posts
10/2/2011 3:38 pm
Dating Younger as a Cougar

Thank you for reading my blogs! Please read more of them in the future and come chat in this Site's Chatroom on AsiaFriendFinder, with me sometime to discuss them. I know this site or my blogs are being cross posted on other sister websites. I like talk about being an official Cougar today. I like to date younger men, as well as men my age.
For myself, I've become a Cougar because the main reasons to feel younger when younger men are attracted to me. I'm 50, but I don't have and like young people's music, including . I have great flexibiltiy in my life now in who I want to date. Recently, I did have lunch with a 23 year old who insisted in meeting me.
I didn't want to start a serious relationship from that, but thought this is an opportunity to talk with a young person to get his story. I like talking to all ages, if there's a good story behind the mask.
If it's casual dating, I find no problem in dating younger men, as long they are mature enough, have goals, and intelligent enough to be able to have a deep conversations with. My Ex-husband acted immaturely at times and never changed when he became Middle aged. He was 4 years older than me. We had a long term relationship. So now, I just want to have fun and go out dancing and live awhile if I'm 21 again!
The guy also would have to be able to understand me culturally since I'm Asian American and liberal Democrat.
If they don't act their age when they are with an older woman (meaning 10 -20 years older). So in my opinion, a Cougar is someone who dates a guy who's over 10 years younger than herself. It can be a compliment since a woman is able to look 10 years younger by keeping up her appearance. Lately, I've spent more time, effort and money to look great emotionally, spiritually, and physically than when I was married.
If the woman or person is just 5 years older it's similiar in age range if you are over 28. But I rather get into a serious relationship with a Middle aged man who's been divorced or married before (His wife would of trained him at home how to act, hopefully).
Yesterday, I met a 37 year old guy who just moved to town 3 weeks ago. He was searching a new girlfriend, I think since he just moved here and became obviously interested in me very quickly. I felt he was desperate because of his current living condition, and doesn't have a job yet. He flirted with me big time, but I blocked him since I didn't have chemistry with him and he's in big transition and probably wanted my financial help.
The writing was on the wall and there were many red flags. He was very intelligent but down on his luck at the moment. Because I've experience with a similiar situation like this with my first boyfriend/ lover, I don't want to get deeply involved with this person. He needs a Social Worker. I've been a Rescurer before and I shouldn't repeat that mistake again.
I'm a lot wiser now being 50 and it will show when you talk to me. I will mentor the younger guys that I go out with. So far there has only been 3 younger guys that I went out with month.
I've only started actively dating this month after waiting awhile after my divorce last year to get over Rebound.
Rebound is totally different subject for another blog.
But you can refer to it on other relationship articles in magazines.
For all the Cougars out there, I'm glad you are going out and try something different. It's a total new experience for me since I was 19, and early 20's, I've dated all older men. Now, I'm switching to date younger, since I can attract them!


Sugi Dancer, Dating Coach


beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
10/2/2011 4:51 pm

the main thing is that you are aware of what you are doing and you are taking time to enjoy it without being driven by a desperation.. as long as spirit and mindset of appreciations and being appreciative drives you.... you should be fine.


SugiDancer 62F
127 posts
10/4/2011 1:36 am

Beyond Fantasy
I think most Middle aged women know what they are doing because of experience compared to younger teens or women in their 20's who might date older men.

Dating Coach

Sugi Dancer, Dating Coach


beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
10/8/2011 6:17 am

most times when people get overwhelmed by their emotional infatuations of attachment , age is less a factor... because; people function from emotions driving reason's... often-time more than reason managing emotion.


gangama 54M

10/9/2011 9:35 pm

Why is a lady referred to as a "cougar" if she dates younger guys,but if a guy dates a younger lady he is some old so and so?? Talk about double standards......the younger the lady, the younger i feel.

so enchanting she delights the soul


SugiDancer 62F
127 posts
10/10/2011 9:41 pm

    Quoting gangama:
    Why is a lady referred to as a "cougar" if she dates younger guys,but if a guy dates a younger lady he is some old so and so?? Talk about double standards......the younger the lady, the younger i feel.
I'm meeting more and more guys who appreciates Middle aged women since they have it more together, than their younger counterparts. Last Friday night, I was Co-hosting a Mixer for a 40 Something Group. Then the 20-30 somethings were also invited and of course more young professionals showed up. I find it more fun sometimes to chat with and mentor young people.
I was giving some dating advice to some of the young people and a few of the middle aged ones. But I noticed a lot of the Middle aged people left really early since the younger people outnumbered them. For me, I like young people's music. But I found it hard to be supervised by a younger person when I was in my early 40's.

Sugi Dancer, Dating Coach


masada125 62M

10/24/2011 1:42 pm

Ah, I see. I was so much older than, I'm younger than that now.
Interesting to look at the opposite situation, i.e. older men and younger women. I have been close to a woman in her early 30's and in some senses, it is easier to relate to a woman a bit closer to my age.
It's less complicated and more rewarding. But, that jolt of youth is powerful.
I could see a woman in her emotional/ existential prime being interested in and attracted to younger men. So I encourage you to do so. After all, I am three years younger than you.
Nice blog.


olderandcute 68F

1/17/2012 3:51 pm

I dated a much older man , ended up married to a man 11 years younger that lasted 8 years. Now I would like to find a man close to my age. In the end I hope we all find our mates , real , true lasting.