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If there is no pure friendship between men and women Why there is a type of person called "penpal" in this world? Honestly speaking, I have to admit that it's really hard to believe there can be pure friendship between men and women. Who believes it? It's totally kidding. I havn't received any messages from someone who insisted on declaring that he just wanted to be a friend of mine and kept in touch for a week, after I told him I couldn't offer him anything for if I told him how much I like him it stil looked fake and I didn't want to do that, because I repect him, and repect myself. I am not upset but still a bit disappointed. I know the result would be like this. Sometimes I wonder if I should not stay here because I am not single, that makes me look like a game player. But in fact, in real life there are many people who just want to communicate more, especially those who are not good at talking. And sometimes it's unembarrassed for us to tell our story to a stranger because we are world apart. I leave no trace of wings in the air, but I am glad I have had my flight. ---- Rabindranath Tagore |
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12/17/2012 6:46 am |
I do not think man and woman can be friends in my definition of friends. I value it very highly, sometimes I wonder if it's not higher than a kind of love. Irwin Shaw said it in a short story he wrote. "Friendship is limitless communication." Not sure a man and woman can share everything and still be friends. Of course, that may be true with men too. But I think sex is the problem. One or the other is always going to want to go the next step. And then there is the fear of losing that friendship if you try. 
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Hi, beyondfantasy3 and goannaoil, Yes, I’m Roland. Nice to meet you here. Long time no see. beyondfantasy3, I don’t know your name. I suppose it’s a new one… Six years flew away since I came here. One million things happened. I have now enough stories to write books. Unfortunately, I am now at the end of a cycle… However, I am fortunately starting a new one. Just hope that it will be long enough so that it is the last one… Coming back to the topic. MrHeart40: “why is it that you live in China and still do not have a woman?” Right! It’s a bit unusual. Now each one has his own reasons. “If you did not understand the simple phrase "I would like to be friends" then you could have just ask, but you chose not too”. Have you ever been in China watching series at the TV (Not because you like them but because you are invited and can’t do otherwise), you know, the ones that made the women cry? Here is the type of stories with lot of contradictory feelings that Chinese women like so much. This is typical of the Chinese women. In life, they are often searching the same contradictory feelings… Some would even say that they like playing with fire… Imenio is a good girl. Hi Imenio 
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What's the problem.. be friends or don't be friends.. but maybe if there is something personal it should be handled via e-mail... because it is not looking good as a public display of contentions. what can be gained from it for either party. this is still the internet... until people can find a medium within their interactions much can get twisted... but the simple thing is... do you two want to be friends or not. the answer within yourselves should bring a halt to the bickering ...
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11/24/2012 9:14 am |
@jmenyo I will not buy into the "I did not understand you" (due to you're language ability) because you seem to have NO problem communicating with anyone else here. If you did not understand the simple phrase "I would like to be friends" then you could have just ask, but you chose not too. ~ I am glad I only paid for 3 months! ~ 
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11/24/2012 8:59 am |
@CanadaManInChina I am not here to "play", that is the obvious difference between us. Before you start you're childish name calling of others, maybe take a hard look at you're self and ask a simple question like, why is it that you live in China and still do not have a woman? THAT, speaks volumes. ~ I am glad I only paid for 3 months! ~
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lavenderman13 -- is this Roland?
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I don't like women who have an 'objective based relationship'. by that I mean they are only friends because they want some avenue of access to something material. friends should be because you have a honest consideration of the other person as an individual.
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If men and women want to be friends its as easy as being friends. If one or the other 'wants to hook the other up", the easiest thing is to be honest about it. and not 'covertly pursue it' and then deny that is within the interest. If one or the other has that driving motivation to 'hookup the other"... then, it will come to the surface... Now it does not have to destroy the friendship, but sometimes it will add a level of reserve in how they communicate and probably what they do and what they share as friends. Most of my daily interactions are with women - more than with men. Women and men think about different things during the course of a day. the women I work with, they talk about kids, family things and such, or they talk about a variety of things which are somewhat different than what men talk about in general... As adults, when it comes to sex, man nor woman is blind or unaware of knowing if the other wants sex.. but they sometimes each pretend not to know. this is probably where the conflicts come into play. As adults it does not benefit either to pretend they don't know.. but if one is interested and the other is not.. then they each have to respect the other as an individual and they can maintain a friendship without their interest in sex being a dividing line that destroys friendship.. Each person is responsible for their own self management of what they do and what acts they take and make. some times, in some situations .. as long as the women knows the man wants sex, but she does not, they can be friends... but if the woman wants sex and the man does not, sometimes that friends may not work, because the woman may take it as rejections and spend too much time wondering why he does not want it. But we are adults, we should be able to control our own self.. so friendship should be possible with two self responsible individuals. I've had good friendship with women that I'd like to hook up, but I also have had good friendship with women who want to hook me up.. and no sex has taken place.. because from my standpoint.. I care more about the friendship than I care about whether or not I hook them up. I've met women who don't understand that , and continue to challenge the situations as to why, and even telling them that the friendship is more important than sex, because within I know that is not the person I want to have that type of relation with, because I enjoy the friendship and would not risk the friendship for sex. again, people have to be self responsible and honest with themselves first and foremost. Sex is a natural motivation within people.. but it does not always have to be acted upon, nor does it need to be denied or lied about, but that still does not mean it has to be acted upon. Its many things within the mix, some people we pursue for sex and relationships and some we pursue initially for friendship... a lot may be involved in our method of pursuit and what we pursue. I already know, I like women with slim legs, flat stomach and slender butts and a happy face. more than likely I'm going to think about her sexually as well as I may like her, but that won't stop us from being friends from my stand point.. because I am not going to force my interest on her, because she is does not have the same motivations for sex. then I don't want it, because it is not flowing from a self motivation on her part. For me, I don't know about others, but if a woman is not appreciating what is shared, then it does not make sense to do it. I don't need a sexual favor.. Even If I was paying a woman, if she is not acting with self motivation, then I would rather give her the money and tell her to go about her way. A woman in general, already know if a man considers her sexually. "Period" !!!!!!
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11/20/2012 10:22 pm |
jmenyo "I havn't received any messages from someone who insisted on declaring that he just wanted to be a friend of mine" Actually jmenyo, I have no choice but to call you a liar.  I did exactly that on Oct 25, 2012 2:13 AM EST. I sent you a nice email Telling you that you seemed like a nice lady, and then I ask if you would like to be friends with me. You replied with some gibberish about Beauty, and ignored anything I said in the email. I replied, and again you replied with more gibberish about Beauty, and again ignored what i wrote and said I was the one who misunderstood you.  (I still have these emails in my in box, and out box)Now you have just proven that you, like many of the women on this site are not interested in any friendships, and more then likely not interested in any relationships either. This place is nothing more then a women's playground. ~ I am glad I only paid for 3 months! ~
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