| Blogs > jmenyo > My Blog |
|
The world's biggest family: The man with 39 wives, 94 and 33 grandchildren News in 2011 from Daily Mail. How many people are there in this family now? Anyway managing such a big family is not easy, as well as feeding them. For those who dream of polygyny, is this your dream life? If yes, the dream seems can come true as long as you immigrate to India! ------------------------------------------------------------- He is head of the world's biggest family - and says he is 'blessed' to have his 39 wives. Ziona Chana also has 94 , 14-daughters-in-law and 33 grandchildren. They live in a 100-room, four storey house set amidst the hills of Baktwang village in the Indian state of Mizoram, where the wives sleep in giant communal dormitories. He even married ten women in one year, when he was at his most prolific, and enjoys his own double bed while his wives have to make do with communal dormitories. He keeps the youngest women near to his bedroom with the older members of the family sleeping further away - and there is a rotation system for who visits Mr Chana's bedroom. Rinkmini, one of Mr Chana's wives who is 35 years old, said: 'We stay around him as he is the most important person in the house. He is the most handsome person in the village. Another of his wives, Huntharnghanki, said the entire family gets along well. The family system is reportedly based on 'mutual love and respect' And Mr Chana, whose religious sect has 4,00 members, says he has not stopped looking for new wives. 'To expand my sect, I am willing to go even to the U.S. to marry,' he said. One of his sons insisted that Mr Chana, whose grandfather also had many wives, marries the poor women from the village so he can look after them.  I leave no trace of wings in the air, but I am glad I have had my flight. ---- Rabindranath Tagore |
|||
|
I think its a good model to improve the world, and it may even diminish some of the arrogance which exist in the monogamous relationships I've always liked the concept and model of multiple wives. !!!!!!!!!!!
| ||
|
TO SOME MEN, ONE WIFE, if she is dominating, dictatorial, selfishly temperamental, and bickering if he does not submit and does not accept the task she seeks to assign to him. and thinks that sex gives her the option and right to manipulate him and the relationship, then yes, it is going to be a problem. Some women make it a mission in their lives to so call 'tame the man" to her whims and wants, Some women think its her task to shape and mold him to fit her fantasy image of how he acts and what he does. some women compete with any hobby he has, and try and diminish it by making little of the hobby or time investment he puts into certain interest, as if she should be able at any given time, to put a halt or simply extract him from any and all other humanly and personal things of interest. But some of these same women would go off the deep end, if he asked her to give up or neglect any hobby or interest she may have that she invest time and energy as a person interest area of choice. A man who is a creative tinkerer, needs to be careful in the woman he chooses, because if she nags and develop manipulative intent attitudes every time he invest time in tinkering, eventually that relationship will have problem that become more challenging over time. Men need to be very careful with women, who always say stuff like " IF YOU LOVED ME, YOU'D ........ " that is certainly a beacon which implies very overt and subtle forms that manipulations is a high use tactic, that will eventually put a divide line between them.
| ||
|
Look at the women in the picture, there is a broad mixture of styles, but what is not within the picture is women who are heavily in make up, or covered with Jewelry and none of the women seem to be driven to present themselves in overly erotically provocative attire. Oddly enough, this is often seen as being some of the same factors in the show they have of the multi wive family on the TV show. In general society, look at the many single wive situations, and "note" there becomes in many cases a big contrast from the ways of these women in a multi wife relationship. Along with this variation, we see many times, the women who have longevity in their relationships which includes a higher level of harmony, equally so, women who are not consumed by the dictates of the fashion industry,or the media marketing, which promotes overly provocative attire or costly material accessories. When we look at men in general within the public middle class segment; these men may find some level of delight in looking at costumed women in over costly fashion items, but these are many times not the woman, these men chooses for building a family unit. Yes, men like their women to be neat and clean, but it is not such a requirement that she is covered in over costly attire and many men become less content with his choice of woman, wearing overly provocative attire, especially when he is with her. Sadly too, some of the women who are driven by being the provocative attraction, often times can become the woman who is less trusted by the man, because her presentation is far too often designed to be an allure costume, and it then becomes certain that temptations will be a higher ratio in her daily scenarios. Looking good and being over provocative has two very distinct interpretations in the minds of men. As to contrast, yes, men like the characteristic of the woman who is 'home building responsible", as well as he may like the option of a woman who is also energetically active in doing certain things outside the home. In some cases, if you look at men and the choice of wife and then look at the choice of mistress some men take, and note the contrast in the two. Now there are women who are very good at making a home environment, but equally so enjoy doing things outside the home become many times relationships that have enough diversity in formation that often times, become situations where the man does not take on a mistress. For some men, when he has a wife who is good at making a home life comfortable and enjoyable, equally so, these men will not trade it away for a 'provocatively enticing image of women he may encounter in the public sphere". But one thing is a fact... women who abuse sex, by the aims to try and manipulate the man with it, or tries to ration it based on some selfish undermining criteria, or has a disposition as if she controls everything because she has the organ of sex that he enjoy... will likely find that he man may well seek out a woman, who actually knows how to share it appreciatively both in giving, receiving and sharing. Men can feel it instantly when women are using sex for manipulative or coercive aims. and over time he will grow to resent the thought of wanting to engage that woman. Because he knows to do so, ultimately he will result to feel diminished and ill respected and not sincerely desired. if women learn these things, they will be far ahead of the curve in understanding how to have and keep a man... None of the women in the picture appear to position themselves as if they want to be the man or compete with the man, they appear more interested in being women, and not trying to be a man like woman. I'm sure he has to be the type of man, who listens and work with the wisdom's of the women as person and as individuals. thus rendering their relationships to be individuals working and functioning relationships. They each surely have their moments of sexual interaction but they are not basing their relationships solely on the sexual aspect, but more on the over-all interactions as person to person, individual to individual and a none combative social circle. So, there is far more dynamic's at work, that the simple fact that one man is with many women... each of these relationships is of its own individual nature within the social structure. "It's existence is evidence that it is working", and it is building a family unit of many components. I'd think, that each one would without hesitation be there to helps and assist the other and certainly if one is sick or troubled, they will pull together to be a support circle. It appears evident that the high potential and /or threats of divorce does not plague this family like it does so many of the single wife relationships . Sadly, some women think the word "love" Means someone is suppose to give her stuff and pay her way in life. These women often jump from one relationship to the next and always has the same song in doing so. " he did not give me this, he did not do this for me, he did not......." CONVERSELY, the women who understand that "Love" means they both contribute to making relationships, taking care of home and self and sharing with each other... generally have a daily building of a stronger relationship. In the picture above, it is highly unlikely that the women as individuals are driven to play the manipulative aim game in their interactions with the men or with each other. This is not to say that the human element of jealously and competitiveness does not exist, because people by the manners of life will become jealous and will compete. how they deal with this has a great impact on how the unions perform. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE, SHOULD ANY WOMAN BE FORCED OR WRONGLY COERCED TO BECOME PART OF THIS ARRANGEMENT, IT SHOULD BE BY HER OWN FREE WILL, INTEREST AND MOTIVATION TO BE WITHIN THIS RELATIONSHIP. SHE SHOULD BE EQUALLY FREE TO LEAVE THIS ARRANGEMENT AT HER CHOICE AND DECISION TO DO SO. Note that the older women, are not alone, as if the case in so many situation across the globe, they have an expanded social network, and probably gain a great deal of positive connectivity by having an unbroken circle of social connectivity. They probably become good council to the younger wives in the family circle. It's quite an interesting situation. Today, there are so many older women, and for that matter older men, who result to live solitary lives, and some who have gone through divorce are disconnected from the core family in ways that result to many many sad and lonely situations. What is more interesting in the natural element of life, is the fact that more female are born than there are males, this might even indicate that the natural order may include multiple wives. but within this scenario it is quite likely, because women commune and listen to other women, that each woman would help the other woman not to become driven by selfishness to be or become over bearing upon and against the man. women are far more connected as women, to listen to each other in such matters, as the naturally see out each other for counsel about how they deal with their relationships with a man. So, I'd say, beyond thinking about this in terms of 'taboo mentality", look into the situation and seek to connect the variables that make it functional for the social sphere that it has created to exist. this does not mean everyone will aim for this conjunction of relations, but it does mean that people may become less condemning of what they may not have given the time to try and interpret the logic and understanding that exist for those who choose this method of relationship and family unit building process. To achieve 94 children and 33 grand children.. is certainly evidence this is not some whimsical low value family structure
| ||
|
It's really hard for me to understand a wise man like you being so interested in polygyny. If I remember right it's not the first time you talked about it and expressed a great deal of interest in it. Well, maybe you are just honest. Maybe all men have a secret dream of having 2 or more wives but just dare not to admit. From women's perspective, I have to say I can't understand what type of woman enjoy sharing a man with others as well. If she loves him how can she bear it? Even imagination makes me sad and disgusting. I think what hurts this websites blog script from truly being a in-depth dialog platform; is people are accustom to slap stick comments and cliche paraphrasing, some come and read and never say a word about anything. Probably some come and read with a 'shock and awe" mindset and pass it off without a second thought. ( wiki) In Hong Kong, polygamy was banned in October 1971. Kevin Murphy of The International Herald Tribune reports the cross-border polygyny phenomenon between China and Hong Kong in 1995. Polygyny, permitted under Islamic law, is present amongst some Muslims in South Asia. Polygamy is illegal in India for Hindus and other religious groups under the Hindu Marriage Act. It remains legal for Muslims under the terms of The Muslim Personal Law (Shariat) Application Act of 1937, as interpreted by the All India Muslim Personal Law Board. Polygamy is generally quite rare in urban areas, and among the cosmopolitan middle classes. Regardless of the historical acceptance, male polygamy or plural marriage is no longer legally or socially acceptable in the contemporary Thai society. However, the practice of having "minor wives" (Mia-Noi: เมียน้อย) continues in modern days in secrecy from the "primary wife" (Mia-Luang: เมียหลวง) United States: David Friedman and Steve Sailer have argued that polygamy tends to benefit most women and disadvantage most men, under the assumption that most men and women do not practice it. The idea is firstly that many women would prefer half or one third of someone especially appealing to being the single spouse of someone that does not provide as much economic utility to them. Secondly, that the remaining women have a better market for finding a spouse themselves. Say that 20% of women are married to 10% of men, that leaves 90% of men to compete over the remaining 80% of women. Friedman uses this viewpoint to argue in favor of legalizing polygamy, while Sailer uses it to argue against legalizing it.[citation needed] In the US, the Libertarian Party supports complete decriminalization of polygamy as part of a general belief that the government should not regulate marriages. Polygamy existed all over Africa as an aspect of culture or/and religion. Plural marriages have been more common than not in the history of Africa. Many African societies saw children as a form of wealth thus the more children a family had the more powerful it was. Thus polygamy was part of empire building. It was only during the colonial era that plural marriage was perceived as taboo. Esther Stanford, an African-focused lawyer, states that this decline was encouraged because the issues of property ownership conflicted with European colonial interest. Polygynous families are families with husbands who have multiple wives. All of the wives interact with the husband at different times individually and as a whole. The wives also have relationships with one another as individuals and as a group. There is obviously jealousy involved no matter how long ones culture has been polygynous. For example, the first wives are known to be angry at first when their husbands take on a second wife. Polygynous families also will have children from multiple mother and the same father. The connection between the children and the true mother and same mother siblings is always different and usually stronger than with the other children. This large family of mothers and children again leads to jealousy and competition for the husband or father. The competition between co-wives usually focused on how many children each wife had and what these children are given in materials and education. The wives are usually ranked higher depending on who married first, and with the addition of the status of the families they came from. The husbands are supposed to avoid showing favoritism, especially when it is out of ranking or anger and jealousy can break out in the family. The rivalries between wives can lead to bitter feuds and divorces. The wives depend on their children to support them after the husband dies, so educated and the passing down of land or cash is crucial. Most husbands can only afford to send one or two children to school, which is why there can be such fierce competition.
| ||
|
It's really hard for me to understand a wise man like you being so interested in polygyny. If I remember right it's not the first time you talked about it and expressed a great deal of interest in it. Well, maybe you are just honest. Maybe all men have a secret dream of having 2 or more wives but just dare not to admit. From women's perspective, I have to say I can't understand what type of woman enjoy sharing a man with others as well. If she loves him how can she bear it? Even imagination makes me sad and disgusting. Unfortunately, some men pursue that aim, by having a wife and a mistress.. I don't think I'd like that kind of situations. If I was going to be with two, then I want them to be in agreement about the existence of things.
| ||
|
If he would post his recipe, maybe he can get a trend started. I think it would be very interesting to have at least two wives. I think the plus factor is if the women like each other. Maybe the scenario may even work well if the women are bi- and a good strategy is that everyone has a job. their living cost would be cut into 1/3 each. There are women who would equally so, like the arrangement. the key is to find the women who like the arrangement. In many places in the ancient history it was a common practice. how and why people got away from it, is interesting. The TV show with the guy who has multiple wives, the women say they like the arrangements. I think the key is to be a man who does not want to control women, and to find women like men and want to have a relationship where it is understanding of each other as individuals.
| ||
|
It's interesting, might be worth a try - 
|
