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Starting a new job and a new chapter of life I am starting a new job from this month forward, which is with a pay enough to support my 's and my living in China. As an ever full time mom staying at home for about 8 years. I used to be a full time career woman as well before my was born. 8 years later, while dedicated all my time to my however I found I lost a lot. I wanted to be back into the society but I was not a social being anymore. I was not skillful and almost fogot all my English. During these two years, while making a lot of efforts on self-improving I worked as part time teacher, translator at the same time. And now I made it, finally being financially independent once again. I am proud of myself. When life betrays you, someone may choose to rely on another again as her shelter. My choice is to rely on myself. I leave no trace of wings in the air, but I am glad I have had my flight. ---- Rabindranath Tagore |
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I've often heard the jobs go to the 'young pretty faced girls" before they are given to others who apply. That's such a trip. But, its not much different here. You will rarely see a young and pretty faced girl without a 'comfortable low labor requirement job", they will get placed at a 'receptions desk in a heartbeat", and many of them get various other positions, as management assistant and such jobs without skills or the ever present claim of "degrees". I think this phenomenon is present in every country in the nation. It's almost the same with men... If one is a white male, 6 ft tall, blond hair, square chin and stiff upper lip, he will likely have a job. If one is black and 6 feet tall, he has to be exceptionally well groomed, and soft spoken but with a bit of depth of bass in his voice, but not too much, because many white male dominated establishments will be intimidated if he is outspoken and has a deep resonance in his voice. Young white males who meet with the media presented image will likely have a job, because the media imagery familiarity of " looks" plays a big part in the perceptions people have, and to think that people who do interviews are not influenced by this, would be a very wrong assumption. Many jobs, will hire "overweight black women', far quicker than they will hire "a pretty faced shapely black woman", because the white women and the white men do not feel challenged by the over-weight black woman. Men who want a personal secretary if he is married, will be reluctant to hire a "pretty faced woman", unless he has back of the mind attractions. Because he knows his wife will have a problem with it, as well as he will likely be assumed to be having some relations with the woman. Asians in America will hire white people who meet the media image if they have a big enough company, but and they are highly likely to hire Asian people for their Admin and Other positions and for their labor needs they will hire mexican or Central American Latin people, but they are very reluctant to hire black people. Many black business, hire black people, I often write locally complaining about this, because it does not support diversity to do so, but also Business would do far better to not label themselves as a Black Business, because in society views, it is still with a bias which in a way self alienates that business from being seen and engaged as just a business, without the ethnic labeling. Job hunting in many areas is not about skill or any of the criteria that is claimed. It is about, "do they like you, and do they think you will fit socially with the work group". Most things are done in business to a 8th or 10th grade level. Because their public offering is designed to meet the 'general public consumption standard', which means it must be designed and presented where a reasonable person with a 8th or 10th grade reading and comprehension level can deal with it. When it comes to high tech, if you are going for programming and such, these things may not matter so much, because you have to know how to read and write the code and how to trouble shoot with specifics to know which script testing tools to utilize. Other Vocation and Technical jobs, are far less likely to be driven by looks, because they can't afford to play that game in the production sectors. But that does not mean they don't play that game in the Administrative, Sales and Marketing Areas of their business. Last year, our Intern was not a media image attractive clone like look, she was very much over weight, she had a nice personality, but she was very well organized, had good computer skills and was willing to learn any new applications and she had the understanding in how to address customer calls and issues. I recommended her to our Workforce people, based on her skills and performance, and she now will be able to work this job for 2 yrs while she continues her educations. The program allows for 2 yr placement. So far everyone in the area she works if full respectful and impressed by her work. I talked to her before she went there, I said, don't get hung up with the complainer, don't refuse or balk at doing the work, and don't have problems with menial task when they are given, just do the job, do it well and give your best. Now, she has income which helps her with her educational aims, and she is learning the ins and outs of working in a Organizations which has excellent credibility anywhere in any system. Most of these things you see on the Internet when it talks about Resume and Jobs, NEVER discuss these things. Currently the structure I'm trying to create to re-start my business aims, is to seek out diverse people with good skills, I don't care what they look like, "except be well groomed and have a business like manner" and be capable to perform and willing to learn and willing to be a contributor. one can be pretty to look at or not pretty in media terms, I don't care. It is far more important they have a passion to embrace the skills in and for what they do. Gender has nothing to do with anything in the business I aim to create. None of this other crazy "media image" stuff needs to be involved.
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I am continually amazed at what my sisters dealt with to raise their kids, one sister passed away, but the other has grown kids too. It is certainly filled with many challenges, many of which I'm still learning to respect more and more. I am not a big fan of the women who use the term "Single Parent" as a status phrase, because we have many who use it in a self glory search, because some of these women will not only reject men who want to bond with them, some get high on the thought of being a single parent, and the hand claps they get, until they purposely push away potential mates, because they don't want to give up that labeling of "single parent". It may be different in China, because the men are not so open to marry women with children. But in America, men don't have much problem with marrying women with Children.. the biggest problem is many of these women, want to 'cling to that 'single parent" label more than they want to provide those children a balanced family with a male and female parent structure. I know this to be true!!!! I see it everyday, I've seen it where women get with men, but do not want to share the full roles of parenting, they have too much of that " these are my kids", but when it comes time to pay expense, then she will say, "our kids". It's crazy. I once spoke with guys who have talked about this. and some of them even talked to the women about her ways of placing that divide between him and the kids. But some women don't change. There are women, who are determined to insure the new man in her family is an integral and equal part in the family and will insure the kids treat and respect him as being such. And if he has kids, he insures that the kids respect the new woman as a integral and equal part in the family. ( these are the smart types), but no everyone fits into the smart category.
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Congratulations, you have always presented yourself as being very self reliant and stable and very conscientious about life and its realisms. Congratulation also on being able to manage the expense of 8 yrs. I saw an interesting article, where people had 6 of their kids in college courses by age 12. 1 is an engineer, at 22, the other a doctor and etc... The article is titled: Meet the family who sent six kids to college by age 12
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