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The Long Engagement Wow! The last time I blogged was in 2006, three years ago. Where have I been? My best friend tells me that my love life is full of excitment. I fell in love too fast and when it ends, I fell hard. I give fully to each new relationship and it always ends up chipping away at my inner being. Well, I meet someone here on asianfriendfinder again. It was around mid-December 2005. It was a long distant relationship. I didn't think it would have worked, but I wanted to give it a try. He proposed to me in June 2006. When we met face to face, we felt a connection and I accepted his proposal. We were on cloud 9 from 2006 to early 2007. We couldn't wait to be together. The engagement lasted for close to 3 years. I dragged my feet. A big part of this was my fault because I had him wait. I had a lot of things happening in my life at the time. The software that I worked on was to be released soon, my basement flooded due to heavy rain, and I had a family of raccoons living in my attic. Yes, raccoons. My dad had prostate cancer late 2007. I waited until each issues passed before he and I thought about coming together. We finally got together in 2009 but he had to leave because his mom was in the emergency room. Funny how things worked out. I don't want to talk about when he was here because it hurts a lot. His mom was diagnosed with stomach cancer and he received a new job offer. He and I are no longer engaged. I waited too long. If I truely shared my life with him and let him become involved, we probably would be married by now. I would have him with me during the holidays. It is always easy to say "I want someone to share my life". When you really do it, is another thing. It tears me up inside each time when I think back and thought of what I could have done differently at the time which could have changed things. I can't. I can't go back in time and change things so I just have to aceept it as is amd move on. I wish him luck at his new job and hope his mom is better. |
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11/20/2009 4:29 pm |
life is a series of events, there is no pause in life's events, to make room for what we want, we have to blend what we want into what is our lives. the trip that is pushed in life of marriage being some fairy land things, is just that, an illusion of fairy tale. Marriage is two people choosing to share their lives, and what is within it. trying to wait thinking things will stop happening is not logical nor realism.. because as long as we are alive things, happen and will happen. and each situation is what it is, and can accommodate two people who share their lives to deal with it. We continue to live and learn.. now you have the opportunity to act on your gained wisdom.. and that is simply when you find love, stop putting criteria around it and simply embrace it and make it what you want it to be, right in the middle of life being life... there is no perfect time, its simply the time we make actions to choose to do what is desired..
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