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You. Are. Hired. It happened. A job offer came through. “So we have kind of a unique situation here,” Loni, the HR woman I’d met on my first interview, said over the phone. “Both Megan and William thought you were the most qualified candidate they’ve met with so far. I thought so too.” “Thank you,” I said, tentatively. I had stepped outside of Bill’s apartment to take the call, and even though it was a balmy 79 degrees in New York yesterday, the words “unique situation” made the hair on my legs stand up. Which also reminded me that I desperately needed to shave my legs. Gross, Josie. “So the position we’re offering you is as an assistant to both of them.” “Both of them?” I repeated. “Yes, though only temporarily. Until we find a second assistant.” “And what happens then? Do I exclusively become Megan’s assistant? Or William’s?” “That hasn’t been decided yet. It will depend on the other assistant we hire. Maybe that person will just click better with William or vice versa.” “Do you have a sense of how long it will take to hire someone else?” “I wish I did, ” Loni said. “But it could be one month, it could be one year. I’m not just saying this to sway you, but Megan and William are at the top of this industry. They have extremely high standards, and it’s a testament to you that they reacted to you the way they did.” I was so glad I sent two thank you notes, that I’d mentioned my book deal even though I was worried it would sound brag-y, and that I’d taken the time to research both Megan and William and allude to some of the highlights of their career during the interview. I suddenly had this panicky feeling thinking about how close I was to not doing some of those things, and how it could have cost me the job offer. It’s this Jedi mind trick I play on myself whenever I accomplish something. Instead of feeling proud of myself, I focus on things like how I really didn’t feel like writing two thank you notes, and I beat myself up for “almost” being lazy, and think how lucky I am that I resisted the urge to phone it in. Then I have to remind myself that luck had nothing to do with it, I pushed myself to go the extra mile, and I deserve the windfall. “Thank you for telling me that,” I said. “You’re welcome.” I could hear in her voice that Loni was smiling. “So, in terms of compensation, Literatti offers a $35,000 base plus overtime, which will easily be another $20,000 to $30,000 a year with this job. Also, you get ten vacation days, three personal days, four sick days, and three summer Fridays. We also need you to agree to sign a confidentiality agreement, which is something I will send to you and feel free to maybe have your parents or a lawyer friend take a look at it. ” I barely heard the last part. I was busy doing the math in my head: base plus over time could net me $65,000 a year. I felt like Tom Hanks in Big, when he freaks out over his first, measly paycheck. To most people, especially those living in New York, $65,000 isn’t much, but compared to what Bill was paying me, I was rich, bitch! I suddenly realized Loni was still talking and I snapped to attention. “You don’t have to give me an answer right now, I just ask that you get back to me within the next 48”— “Loni.” I cut her off. “I accept.” “How wonderful!” she said. “In that case, when can you start?” “Well, I’d like to say this Monday, but I feel like I need to be courteous and give my boss at least a week’s notice. Maybe even two.” “Completely understandable.” “Can I get back to you and let you know?” “Of course! In the meantime, I will let Megan and William know you’ve accepted. I’m sure they’d like to reach out to you personally.” “That sounds good. Thanks, Loni.” As soon as I hung up, I broke out into a victory dance right there in the middle of the street. A frightened walked by with his mom and pointed in my direction, yelping, “Mommy!” I realized I looked like a crazy person and pulled myself together. I called Justin on his work line to share the good news. “Hello?” he said. “Guess what, guess what, guess what!” “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is back for another season?” “No! That just ended any way.” Justin laughed. “Okay, what?” “I got the job!” “Well, the million dollar question then—with Megan or Bill?” I thought I detected a tinge of nervousness in his voice, but maybe I just imagined it. “It’s a ‘unique situation.’” I explained what I meant by that. “So there’s a chance you won’t be working with William,” Justin said, once I finished. This time there was no mistaking it—the relief in his voice was palpable. “Yes, there is a chance,” I said. “But the more I think about it, the more I’m realizing what an ideal situation this is. It’s like a trial job. I’ll get better sense of what William and Megan are really like, and whether or not the William rumors hold any weight.” “What an optimist my girlfriend is.” “Correction, what a rich optimist your girlfriend is.” “Well, since you’re Miss money-bags now, want to try and get away at the end of this month? Mexico or Florida or something? Just for a long weekend?” “Like a job-moon?” “A what?” “You know, people do honeymoons, and now babymoons. This would be a celebration of my new job.” “Sure, Josie,” Justin laughed. “A job-moon.” I pulled my phone away from my ear and glanced at the time. “Crap. I’ve been out for a while. I have to get back.” “How are you going to break the news to Bill?” “Ugh. That’s the only thing killing my buzz right now.” “You’ve been there for a while now. People move on. He’ll understand.” We said goodbye and I made my way back to Bill’s apartment. Even though quitting was going to be hard, it was time. I was ready for a real office, more challenging work, co-workers I could grab lunch with, and a position with an opportunity for growth. More and more, I’m thinking the William rumors are just talk. Literatti is under the umbrella of a massive, respectable publishing house, and they’re not going to hire some lowlife sleazeball to run their flashy new imprint. And if the rumors turn out to be true, then I’ll sue for billions and billions of dollars and never have to work again! Just kidding. But in all seriousness, I have a good feeling about this, and I have to just trust my gut. 
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