Lily20145 60F
109 posts
9/4/2016 3:41 am
I need to be in love

This post is only viewable by Chinese FriendFinder members.
Join Chinese FriendFinder now!

.


beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
9/5/2016 10:45 am

I respect my friends who's marriage are long term, I really like that their women was dedicated to the relations during their time of financial challenges, and many other challenges, including some men who have overseas duties that took them from home for extended periods of time. I see many of these men, they work, their wives work and they have been patient to work through their problems, rather than always worried about "trading up".
I listen to these guys talk about how much they love their wives and how much pride they have in their wives and how much they trust their wives.

Today, these things don't seem to last in people too long, and far too often the relationship is in a shambles. I've read reports that say women are the primacy initators of divorce in well more than 60+% of the relationships. I personally think women are too quick to buy into the crap of someone telling them they deserve more or better based on her facial looks or her body shape. and far too many women fall that silliness.
I see too guys who get hung up on "young pretty faces" and "young pretty shapely bodies", and the seemingly passive nature of such women, "as long as they get what they want", and I've seen some of those women bleed the guy dry, and talk more crap than than a chattering cricket, the minute they don't get what they want. I've seen men who throw away long term relations behind young women who fist start off being all considerate, but as I tell guys, why trade your woman in, because as soon as that young one gets comfortable, she is likly going to change the manner and retract that considerations she seem to show when it is all new, or she is in the process of trying to catch and secure the relations, but once it seems secure, you are not going to have anything more than what you already have.

I don't give some ready made blind trust to women, if she wants it she has to earn it by being whom she say she is !!!! One thing I've found, after surgery it changes things, and instead of sex being a primary focus, it pushed character even more up front, when I always had character up front, it is even more so the matter.
I know married people who have less sex than a lot of single people, and I've seen relationships where the woman wants to come across as 'miss let's get busy" while they are trying to catch the man, but soon as that ring is on her finger, it seems to have a leg locking effect.
I've seen women throw away relationships, chasing every kind of fancy, and when they get older and find out they only chased their won illusion, then for some decades pass and they can't find anyone, and some know but won't say, they threw away the relationship that mattered and now they can't find one of such value, so they get bitter, and some simply start chasing other women.

Young pretty women, have this thing where they don't think they will get old, and they don't think that 'sexual allure won't loose its youthful lustrer" and some who can't digest that they can't compete with the young firm bodies and their playfulness carefree disposition of the young girls, who simply have not learned that it takes more than allure to make a relationship work.

Some young women can be crap talkers and hell on wheels the minute 2-3 or more guys hit on them, and they loose all sight of the value of a relationship, because they get the delusion, they can have anyone they want. But, what they don't realize, catching is easy, "keeping" is where the truth meets the fantasy and fictions and many have a problem with the "keeping aspect".

I've seen women whom soon as they get money and feel independent, they become even less likely to be able to choose a mater, because for some reason the idea of having money, makes them more obstinate and they self defeat the potential of having and building a good relationship. Some even get hung up on the fact they have money and get the attitude they don't need anyone.

Time brings people to face many things they did not believe and time also brings many people to come to terms with what is fantasy and what it truth, and what is the value point of 'working to make relationships work". Some, as with all things in life, never learn such things.

We will all get old if we live, hopefully health hold out and we are good in that respects, some find time and situations cause them to loose their money, or many of the things that can happen in life, does happen, and no one gets a rubber stamp which exempts them from reality.

Likely no one will respond to this,because people in this site often don't like indulging in truths, and prefer to invest in "fluff and puff" and Cinderella Fairy Tales and such stuff.

Time is something one can't turn back, therefore, the sooner one is aware of such, it may man all the difference in the world as to how they appreciate and respect the "work" it takes to make relationships flourish and endure.


Lily20145 replies on 9/9/2016 2:05 am:
Beyond, I fully understand what you said. We are all aware relationship is not easy to maintain. Not one solution could fit into all different situation. Some people stay in relationship doesn't mean they are happy. Perhaps it's for kids, it's for money or it's for their faith. If it couldn't be resolved, why not letting two people looking for their happiness somewhere. Relationship is not mainly rely on one partner to stay in and it's mutual as you will agree.