papaya1972 52F
469 posts
2/13/2016 7:13 pm
attitude towards life

How do you feel about this world, a nice place or a miserable one?
How do you feel people around you, are they friendly ? How is weather today, it's raining, but is it still a pleasant day?......

This is your life, your life turns out the way how you view at it!

I met a German man a few years back on a dating website, He was 6 years older than me,healthy and fit, well educated, have a decent job, living in a big house in a village about one hour from Munich. and divorced.

We started contact each other, all was well, only I felt something was a bit ...... I did not know how to tell

1. I was planning my solo backpacker trip to Europe: Netherlands, France, Italy, and Germany. He told me: France and Italy are dangerous, people will cheat you, especially you look Asian.
Do not talk to people on your way travelling, they could harm you....

I thought he gave me such suggestions might because he was cared about my safety.

2. After I arrived Germany, met him, we went for an outing together in Bavaria forest. it was beautiful there, but then a sudden rain welcomed us, had to hide under trees to wait for the rain to stop. Then a little ran by us and followed by an old couple in rain coats. I could not help smiling as the little was all wet but still so joyfully running, it looked really funny. The old lady also smiled at me, I could feel she understood why I was smiling and it was one of those monuments that people do not need language to share their happiness. Then she looked the German man who was standing beside me and smiled at him too. but immediately her smile disappeared and turned her head ahead and carried on with their journey.

nothing was strange, but i did feel the change on her face and how she felt. I turned to the German, he looked very seriously, no smile at all, as if he was trying to keep a distance from others.

3. We went for a walk near a small lake, and saw two men fishing. I wanted to talk to the fishing men, but the German man said : "they might be angry at you, you could disturbing them. and probably they cant speak English."
On the way back, the fishing men were still there. So I called to them: how is today, have you caught any fish?
"not yet!" they replied, and started talking with me and of coz in English. They seemed happy that I had talked to them..... and happy that I wished them good luck to catch some fish.


A few similar situations happened.
When I saw and felt something funny, warm about people, when I tried to talk to people, he would always be serious and defensive. I could tell he never felt what I felt when communicating with others. and seemed he was trying to protect himself from people......

And we did not work out at last.......

May be there is a reason why he looks at people and looks at life differently from my way.
But I do wish he would gain the ability to also feel the friendliness, kindness and warmness of people around. and also wish him could find what he is looking for.

beyondfantasy3 113M
4740 posts
2/14/2016 12:08 pm

Good that you have an open mind and self individualization to be yourself.... keep the spirit!!!!! Beyond all things the world is truly a uniquely magnificent reality. We have only our times of life to appreciate it while we maintain our cautions without cautions becoming paranoia - Then the beauty of it all is and will continue to be a joy to behold.

tgough 44M
51 posts
2/21/2016 4:54 am

Hello Papaya i believe there are miserable people in all racers stay happy and positive and move on