c'est la vie
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Posted:Apr 27, 2014 8:42 am
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 5:15 pm 18656 Views
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I think it is time to make a comment about this site since I plan on being here for a while,, first I see some enjoy my thoughts for the day, but they are there to make one think and spark conversation and interest, that being said next activity.
While in chat room, I find that age is not always true,, but with that being said it is alright if a woman does not put right age down women on most part do not want to admit age, but like myself when I put mind down that is how I felt at the time,, but most women ask me why and for real age,,
does it really matter in a conversation,,
why do I go to chat,  ,,, it is a social gathering like going to a club with the exception one gets to hear all conversation but not the person,, people go to clubs to see people but miss out on the talk,
Again I see wonder on your face,, I am here to try and make friends, talk and go from there, yes most live far away,, so what,,
I have no expectations, just wishful thinking, looking for chemistry after all we are all looking for the one,, or so they say,,,
ok with that being said, have a good day ,,,
comments are welcome good/bad or what ever is on your mind,,,
to all
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sunshine
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Posted:Apr 26, 2014 7:27 am
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 5:15 pm 18488 Views
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"Each morning we go to contemplate the sun, but we can only truly
know what it is with a great deal of effort and patience. Even
though it is there, shining, bright and dazzling, it does not
reveal itself to us so easily, and our everyday preoccupations do
not prepare us for seeing the subtle life our soul and spirit
long for. But we have to persevere; we have to work for a long
time on our spiritual senses before we understand that the Divine
manifests through the sun and then commune with it.
You think you know the sun… No, you will begin to know it when
you feel a vibration in your solar plexus of such intensity that
your whole being is nourished and quenched by it. Then like the
sun you will be ready to pour out your warmth, light and life to
the whole world. This is how the Holy Trinity – the Father, the
and the Holy Spirit – will become alive in you."
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thoughts
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Posted:Apr 26, 2014 5:12 am
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 5:15 pm 16901 Views
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"To make light of something they have said, people will often say
it was just ‘hot air’. Speech is only air anyway, hot or not,
but it has a terrible power for destruction. Materially, on the
level of manifestation, human beings are limited: there are so
many things they would like to achieve that are beyond their
grasp! Whereas, with speech they achieve results it is impossible
to get any other way.
It is not so easy to ruin someone, wreck their career or get rid
of them and their family, and even supposing it was possible, you
would be bound to be tracked down and convicted. But it is easy
to bandy words about and make innuendoes and insinuations! And
usually people feel safe doing so. This is why it has been said
that the spoken word is the weapon of the weak. How many
tragedies have been caused by someone tossing a few words out,
fully aware of the enormous damage their words would create as
they spread by word of mouth! But you must never forget that
speech was given to humans as a divine energy, and you must make
every effort to use this energy for divine ends only."
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sun and nature,
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Posted:Apr 25, 2014 6:43 am
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 5:15 pm 16318 Views
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"Each morning we go to contemplate the sun, but we can only truly
know what it is with a great deal of effort and patience. Even
though it is there, shining, bright and dazzling, it does not
reveal itself to us so easily, and our everyday preoccupations do
not prepare us for seeing the subtle life our soul and spirit
long for. But we have to persevere; we have to work for a long
time on our spiritual senses before we understand that the Divine
manifests through the sun and then commune with it.
You think you know the sun… No, you will begin to know it when
you feel a vibration in your solar plexus of such intensity that
your whole being is nourished and quenched by it. Then like the
sun you will be ready to pour out your warmth, light and life to
the whole world. This is how the Holy Trinity – the Father, the
and the Holy Spirit – will become alive in you."
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when
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Posted:Apr 22, 2014 11:21 am
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 5:15 pm 15387 Views
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"Two people may never have touched each other even with their
fingertips, and yet they feel a powerful, indestructible link
between them. Nothing and no one can separate them. Despite
walls, mountains and oceans, they are together, because their
love goes beyond the limitations of the physical plane.
You will no doubt have noticed that when you feel the subtle
presence of a loved one, you do not necessarily need their
physical presence to feel you are with them. If you strongly feel
that you need their physical presence, it means you are moving
out of your inner world, and then you are likely to meet with
great suffering. For who is to say circumstances will not some
day deprive you of the person you love? But if you feel their
presence inside, outer circumstances will have less hold over
you. This is a criterion: if you feel as much joy thinking of the
person as when you see them, you are free, and this joy will
never leave you."
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earth day
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Posted:Apr 22, 2014 10:47 am
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 5:15 pm 14881 Views
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"Even if sometimes there is plenty for which to criticize and mock
a country’s leaders, this will in no way make them better or
more competent. On the contrary, by harassing them with negative
thoughts and feelings, not only do you not change anything, you
also create conditions on an invisible level that cause them to
make even more mistakes and to take decisions that are less and
less enlightened for the country.
If you want to really help your country, instead of forever
cursing or ridiculing those who are at the head of it, send them
light. You cannot help your whole country, as it is huge, but all
you need to do is to help just one person – it’s easier. And
because this one person is responsible for a great deal, he or
she will in turn do good for everyone. When one person has been
inspired, everyone benefits. A country’s citizens must
eventually become aware of the links that exist between them and
their leaders. It is not enough to demand this, complain about
that and rebel if you don’t get your way. You have to learn the
most effective methods for getting
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soul-mates
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Posted:Apr 21, 2014 5:53 am
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2014 10:47 am 14757 Views
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"Many men and women, even after repeated failures and
disappointments, continue to stubbornly believe that it’s not
that their understanding of love is at fault, only that they have
still not met the person they are meant to meet,… the ideal
being,… their soul mate. As if happiness depended on a
miraculous meeting or coincidence! That really is not how things
happen. You should know that a soul mate is not a man or woman
you meet out of the blue and fall head over heels in love with.
The meeting with your soul mate is first and foremost a psychic
process, in which the higher part of your being attracts its
complementary half. You need to have worked on yourself for a
long time to be worthy of attracting your divine half, but when
you have finally established the connection, you feel its
presence, for it lives within you.
Do you really want to meet your soul mate? Do not go looking for
it, but concentrate on the light; it will come by itself, drawn
by the glowing light it sees shining in you. You do not know
where your soul mate is, but it knows where you are. Simply wait
for it inside: it will come."
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yes
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Posted:Apr 21, 2014 5:15 am
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 5:15 pm 14690 Views
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"Occasionally, without knowing why, you suddenly feel joyful or
sad. There are several possible explanations, but I will give you
one you will certainly never have considered. You have no doubt
passed a man or woman in the street whose face attracted your
attention, and you spontaneously sent them a thought, a ray of
love… This person did not even realize you had been watching
them, but they received the good you sent them through your eyes
and felt the effects. When you suddenly feel joy, it may be that
an entity in the invisible world has looked at you as it passed
by and sent you its love, and your heart has been touched.
Wherever we go, we find ourselves surrounded by visible and
invisible beings, and sometimes we receive good things, sometimes
bad, which explains many of our different states.
The sun, which watches us every day, also sends us its
life-giving rays. And because it is an image of God, our
spiritual sun, we must become aware that through the sun God is
watching us. To love God is to stand before him each day and
receive his gaze."
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comments
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Posted:Apr 20, 2014 3:08 pm
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2016 5:59 am 15555 Views
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~~~
The majority of all U.S. marriages today involve cohabitation before the wedding. In one national sample, almost 60 percent of high school seniors in agreed with the statement, "It is usually a good idea for a couple to live together before getting married in order to find out whether they really get along."
Despite these commonly held beliefs, the idea that cohabitation will somehow improve the quality of a subsequent marriage is wrong. Research over the last thirty years shows that cohabitation does not lead to increased satisfaction or stability in marriage. Compared to marriage, cohabitation creates disadvantages for individuals, couples, and .
Before describing these disadvantages, let's first examine why couples choose to cohabit - either as a prelude to marriage or as an expected "permanent" lifestyle.
Living together / cohabitation actually increases a couple's chances of being divorced someday.
Most adults cohabit for one or more of the following reasons :
(1) for emotional and sexual intimacy without the obligations of marriage;
(2) to test their compatibility; e.g. financially, personality.
(3) to prepare for marriage by practicing living with someone "24/7"
(4) to better know each other's habits, character, and fidelity.
Some people perceive cohabitation as a way to have a more intimate relationship without the risks of divorce or being trapped in an unhappy marriage. But cohabitation does not lead to marriage in the majority of cases.
Reasons why cohabitation increases the chance of divorce:
(1). People willing to live together are more unconventional than others and tend to be less committed to marriage as an institution. These two factors make it easier for them to leave a marriage later if it becomes unsatisfying. Marriage, after all, is a unique relationship that assumes a vow of permanence. Most cohabitors fear, or are not ready for, such a permanent relationship. For them, according to The Case for Marriage, an important new book by Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, cohabitation's biggest attraction is the relatively easy exit with few responsibilities. Unfortunately, for many young adults, their parents' failed marriages may contribute to the expectation that marriages are fragile and divorce is common.
Those who are afraid of commitment and permanence, or who fear that these qualities can no longer be found in marriage, may settle for cohabitation. They are likely to discover they have settled for much less. Cohabiting relationships are relatively shortlived. The chances of commitment and permanence are better with marriage. Marriage is more likely to last than cohabitation even in the early years of the relationship.
(2). Cohabitors value independence more than non cohabitors; marriage involves less independence than living together. For example, cohabitors are less likely than marrieds to support or be financially responsible for their partners. They more often have separate bank accounts. Male cohabitors are more likely to value personal leisure and individual freedom. But this individual freedom may come with a price: they do not reap the benefits of a deeper and more intimate relationship.
(3). A pattern of "serial cohabitation" actually becomes a roadblock, rather than a prelude, to marriage. If one or both members of a couple has previously lived with someone else and the couple marries, the relationship between previous cohabitation(s) and later divorce is especially strong. The experience of dissolving cohabiting relationships probably generates a greater willingness to dissolve later relationships, including marriages. Such individuals may also have a relatively low tolerance for unhappiness in a relationship and choose to "bail out" rather than learn to work through differences.
Reasons why marriage is better than cohabitation :
In a comparison of relationship benefits and costs, marriage wins over cohabitation. Here are the reasons,
(1). Cohabitation lowers one's chances of marital satisfaction. Cohabitors also have a different perspective on time than marrieds have. Marriage, by definition, means, "I will always be here for you." Marrieds' longterm contract encourages emotional investment in the relationship. In contrast, cohabitation for most seems to mean, "I will be here only as long as the relationship meets my needs."
Thus, cohabitors feel less secure in their relationships. In addition, cohabitors are less likely than marrieds to view their sexual relationships as permanently exclusive they are less faithful to their partners than spouses are. Even when they are faithful, they are less committed to sexual fidelity, which creates more insecurity.
(2). Cohabitation also affects the cohabitors' . In general, 's emotional development is poorer if a parent is cohabiting than if a parent is married. This poor development is partly due to the high risk that the couple will break up. If the couple does separate, the pay an economic price, since they have no right to support from a partner who is not their biological parent. They also pay an emotional price when they lose a caring adult who may have taken a parental role but will do so no longer.
(3). Living without both parents also increases the chance that a will be abused. Boyfriends are disproportionately likely to sexually or physically abuse their girlfriend's . In fact, the most unsafe family environment for is that in which the mother is living with someone other than the 's biological father. These may also have more behavioral problems and lower academic performance than in married families.
Similarly, cohabiting women are more likely than married women to suffer physical and sexual abuse. Some estimate that aggression is at least twice as common among cohabitors as it is among marrieds.
(4). Although cohabitors try to protect their economic futures (with separate bank accounts, for example), married couples are better off financially. Married couples monitor each other's spendingan example of lower independence as compared to cohabitors-but marrieds usually monitor each other in a way that emphasizes "our spending plan" or budget. For most marrieds, "Your money is my money."
(5). Married men earn more than single men (nearly twice as much) and married women have access to more of men's earnings than if they are single or cohabiting. This may be explained by the increased financial responsibility men feel when they marry. Men have been heard to say, "Marriage made me get more serious about my career and making a good living."
Financially, cohabitors live more like single parents than like married couples. Cohabitors are more likely to control their own finances than to work as a close team, helping each other meet their financial and career goals. Married women also benefit in some aspects of their careers. Many women get a slight earnings boost from marriage.
(6). Cohabitors generally do not reap the physical health benefits enjoyed by married couples. Non-married people feel less healthy and have higher rates of mortality than the married. In addition, cohabiting, especially with serial partners, greatly increases the possibility of acquiring one or more sexually transmitted diseases.
Whereas cohabitors live in non committed relationships that value independence, marrieds promise to care for each other "in sickness and in health." There are many mental and physical health benefits of knowing there is another person who will take care of you when you cannot take care of yourself.
Compared to singles, married people as a group are also emotionally happier. Married couples are better connected to the larger community, including in laws and church members who provide social and emotional support and material benefits.
(7). Some people would be surprised to learn that marrieds have better sex lives than cohabitors. Although cohabitors have sex at least as often as marrieds, they are less likely to say they enjoy it. Marriage adds the essential ingredients of commitment and security to one's sex life, making it more satisfying. In addition, marrieds are more likely than cohabitors to perceive love and sex as intrinsically connected.
(. Finally, cohabitation may affect relationships with parents. In some families, cohabitation is no longer associated with sin, pathology, or parental disapproval. But in many families cohabitation is still considered morally wrong and embarrassing to extended family members. Cohabitors from those families risk damaging their relationships with their parents and experiencing the withdrawal of parental and extended family support for the relationship. Moreover, the transitory nature of cohabiting relationships may limit access to grandparents for of cohabiting unions.
Conclusion
Marriage is superior to cohabitation. Cohabitation cannot provide or compete with the rewards and benefits of a strong, committed marriage. Cohabitation is not an effective "trial marriage," if such a thing exists. It does not provide divorce insurance. Couples will be better off on life's measures of success and happiness (e.g., emotional health, physical health, and personal wealth) if they are married rather than living together. Cohabitation has more costs than rewards but, unfortunately, continues to be popular, especially among young adults, even though cohabitors fail to receive the benefits or avoid the risks they think they will. People need to know that cohabitation fails to bring couples the happiness and stability they desire in a close personal relationship.
Given the benefits of marriage to adults and and the discouraging data about cohabitation, young people should be warned that the relationships they wish for and think they can achieve through cohabitation are more likely to be found in marriage. According to the best research available, cohabitation, like a mirage, holds out empty promises that disappear and even lead away from fulfillment of the hopes most people have for their lives. Even though people who marry do not always live "happily ever after," people who choose marriage instead of cohabitation choose the best beginning for their and the best opportunity for lasting happiness.
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thought for the day
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Posted:Apr 20, 2014 4:16 am
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2014 9:18 am 16593 Views
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"Suffering is unpleasant, and it is natural to want to put an end
to it immediately in whatever way you can. However, there are
circumstances where it would be better not to always run away
from suffering but instead to try to draw strength from it for a
new life. For one of the properties of suffering is that it
awakens qualities in human beings that would never appear in
other conditions. This is why, when you are suffering physically
or psychologically, tell yourself you have been given an
opportunity to work intensely on yourself.
Obviously, I am speaking here not of the unbearable pain that
requires medication but of the general feeling of discomfort that
so frequently occurs in daily life. Instead of trying to relieve
it or forget it by using pills or other substances, it is better
to take advantage of these obstacles to get down to work and
become inwardly stronger. You will achieve this by not remaining
focused on your suffering but using your mind to try to harmonize
everything in your physical, astral and mental bodies. When this
work is complete, you will often notice that your suffering has
disappeared, precisely because the mental work you have done has
succeeded in bringing harmony into your whole being."
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