| Blogs > SugiDancer > Woman Warrior! |
|
Dating and Building Relationships Dating can be fun and challenging if you aren't willing to think out of the box or take some risks to go out to bars, dancing or network a bit at business, fundraisers or political settings. I've networked so much for my past job in sales. I've met local politicians, VIPs, corporate business people and community organizers. It was great to meet all these people and get to know some of them on a personal level. Building relationships for business and personal reasons are both important. Dating to find that special someone is equally important. So that's why we are here on this site. I'm very opinionated and can speak my mind when I feel bold enough. It's important that we all try to speak our minds and communicate what we want in a relationship before things get too involved. I made a lot of mistakes in my marriage for not communicating well enough with my Ex-husband. But it was a learning experience being married. I'm recently divorced after a 17 year relationship and marriage to my ex-husband. I'm Japanese American. He was Chinese -American and grew up with traditional Chinese values from his parents who came from Mainland China. I know all you guys who grew up traditionally Chinese or Asian can relate to that! In some ways, it was good that he was thifty, so he knew how to save money. Other ways, it wasn't so fun since he was stubborn and didn't want to spend money to go on vacation or go back to school when he needed to get retrained, in order to compete for better jobs and with younger graduates. At first, I thought I was a good match for him. In a lot of ways we were. He was more talkative to strangers on the Street, whereas I wasn't. (I'm changing now since I need to learn how to flirt or talk with strangers that I might meet at the bookstore or grocery store.) It's hard for me to flirt with strangers, off the street, especially if they aren't friendly. Flirting is a special skill in itself. I've read books on flirting. It's useful in sales. I was good in navigating while driving in other states when we traveled since I do like to research maps and where all the tourist attractions are. He was terrible in nagivating and this was before GPS hit the market. I really wanted him to stand on his two feet in building his own career and make wise decisions on the job. I've learned a lot from being married before, so I can take my experiences to the next serious relationship. It's been good therapy in talking about my experiences here and we can share our opinion on relationships between men and women. Now, I can move forward in this journey of life and try to find my next mate. Men have a "Nothing Box," what I've heard from another relationship expert. A nothing box is so they can think of nothing and relax really well, while watching T.V., and go fishing for hours while waiting for the fish to hook, without getting bored or watch golf on TV (Super boring for me!). Women's brains are wired differently where we can multi-task and think about what to do next for our loved ones or other people. Often, some women don't take care of themselves first or aren't willing to say 'No,' to volunteer work or extra tasks. We are programmed to nurture in order to birth and raise , take care of our spouses, our parents, sometimes neighbors and other people for our jobs. So that's why women make great nurses, doctors, life coaches, therapists, customer service reps/ mgrs., hotel or restaurant managers. Please add on more of your opinions on this page. It's why I started it. I really like to hear from you from around the world. Each culture might be different in handling marriages, and relationships, compared to people in the U.S. We can build a great community by sharing. So I'm training to become a Dating Coach too. I hope to inspire some people..  Sugi Dancer, Dating Coach |
|||
8/1/2011 12:36 am |
u right
| ||
8/25/2011 1:08 pm |
Hi again! I see communications as important and escential, no matter what I do, I find that keeping track of people or situations saves me time, and gives me space to do more...the more I do, the happy and self rewarded I become, and by consecuence, whoever is around me may sense the positive "fluence". Personally I am hyper, but I've learned to mellow since I have driven people crazy in my past  anyway, I had studied other cultures and one thing is common women are becoming more vocal of their happenings vs. "keeping it inside" and that had forced a widening in communications altoghether. Cheers! by the way I grew up in hispanic cultures but my mixed race of native-italian-french has made me experience the world in many ways...never a dole moment
| ||
|
Communication is the key to be successful in any longterm relationship. If you don't ask or let the other person know how you feel, they wouldn't know unless your partner is ultra sensitive. My Ex-husband wasn't that sensitive. He made me do things like pump my own gas when he's sitting in the car. So he didn't spoil me except when I asked him to fix the Thanksgiving meal with the Turkey, dressing, gravy since he was a much better cook than I was. I never baked a turkey in my life. So it was much easier for him to do. I'm not much of a cook, nowadays, except when I go to friends houses for Potluck. Then I'll cook a dish. In mixed race relationships, there's going to be cultural misunderstandings. I'm American born, but somehow have cultural misunderstandings with others, especially when I had Caucasian bosses. They sometimes stereotyped me, so I wouldn't last being their employee. But now I'm self employed and Love being my own boss. The economy is getting better, I hope to get a regular job too. Sugi Dancer, Dating Coach
|
