| Blogs > SugiDancer > Woman Warrior! |
|
Dating Again Thank you for reading my Blogs! I want your support to blog more and want feedback from my readers. If you want personal advice, please ask. If I'm interested, I'll write back. I am in a few women's groups already, where we get together and talk about men and men in their lives. That's right, Men, when your wife is with her ladies friends, the No. 1 topic is not about cooking or sewing. It's going to be talking about their spouses, boyfriends or about dating. Men don't share too much information to other men. But women do. I do too. I also try to share realtionship information with my potential dates too. I always ask about their previous relationships or they are willing to talk to me about it too, without me asking. But other relationship experts always say not to talk about your former spouse or boyfriend on your first date. Because you are not focusing on finding on whether you are a match or not. For me, if a guy wants to talk about it, it's information that I've gotten before I decide to give him a second chance. I'm talking about since I want to become a successful Dating Coach. I would need to become more gusty to flirt be able to work the room at an event, go talk to people and flirt or be friendly to get . Unless I know them personally, it's really difficult for me to go and talk to strangers or people I don't know. It's also intimidating to go up to a cliche of friends. So a lot of times I just sit there and wait for men to approach me. Men like to hunt because of their egos of going on the hunt. I like to hunt too occasionally, but will need a green light signal from the guy, in order to approach them. There is a whole science to flirting across the crowded room and can be difficult if most people are already seated in their groups already and not mingling. But if I become the Host of a party or event, then it's a different ballgame. It would be my job to talk and flirt with everyone to make sure they are having a good time. I'm newly divorced, after 22 years of being in a marriage and relationships. So I need to develop the talent of flirting with men agian. Then as a Dating Coach, I can teach others and have workshops. I normally not used to flirting even when I go to Singles events like last Friday. I was at this singles event at a bar and there was dancing. I noticed that a few couples on the dance floor were making out or at least getting closer by dirty dancing. I was there to dance and make some friends. Also to see some acquaintances, both men and women. But I personally feel for myself, I would not be caught making out with a total stranger in public. A younger guy who I didn't talk to before and I believe he was really drunk, did come to me and stroked my hair and face. He pulled back walking backwards into the dance floor. I liked the attention for just one minute only. But he was so drunk, I bet he didn't know what he was doing or would remember it the next day. He was going around flirting with several women like that so I knew he wasn't necessarily interested in me. I also try to avoid drunk people. I myself don't drink when I go out. My first boyfriend when I was 19, was an alcoholic. I had that experience already dealing with an alcoholic and I will never get into a serious relationship with an alcoholic again. I really analyze men's profiles first since it's the only thing to go by beside their photo before I start talking to them. I look for if they drink on a regular basis or a non-drinker. I will accept social drinkers since a majority of my guy friends do drink, but in moderation. I have read many many profiles of men after I myself just started with the Online Dating scene. Half of the men want to get remarried. They can't survive without a wife and be lonely. But I'm meeting more women who have become Old Maids, who never gotten married or women who have not dated after being divorced or widowed. Last Friday, I met other conservative women who don't usually go out to bars to socialize. Anyways, if you like to comment on my blog, but be nice, so I can approve your comment to Post. Thank you again for coming and reading my blogs. I'm trying to inspire people to think for themselves and also take some risks in dating. But be safe out there.  SugiDancer The Dating Coach  Sugi Dancer, Dating Coach |
|||
|
There is a lot to the concept of dating in the traditional format of what people consider dating. I personally don't like the word 'Dating', it sounds like a "game to me".. I am very simple in the sense, that If I see a woman and we want to go do stuff, then we just go do stuff, if we do it frequently, then we just do it frequently.. I don't see where I need to label it to the confines of the word "Dating",.. Dating to me is a long list of IMPLIED, subjugation of many sorts, that have no basis to anything. No one owes anything anything, nor is there any demands anyone can nor should place on the other. Now, if they choose to proclaim, they are "mates', then that is a verbalized agreement, which comes along with the elements they agree upon. Today's dating, is designed as a benefit term for women, where they can expect a lot of stuff and having things paid for, but they are taking no obligation nor responsibility to do the same in regard to paying and doing stuff for the guy. Maybe the world "DATING" needs to have a clearn definition, in both parties mind, because they proclaim they are "Dating"... because it is in its current format nothing more than a testing period, with broad boundaries, which can rarely be defined by either party, beyond.. their assumption, that sex is exclusive, as an assumptive premise. Watch out....for there are many women, who want to be a dating coach to other women, when it come to them 'exchanging tricks and traps"  they like to try on men, and it always backfires. Because, one simple fact is often overlooked. ,,, "relating and making and claiming a mate, is and will always be based on the willing desire of the parties and the actual want to be with each other"... No tricks and traps and gambit games needed. Good Luck in your endeavor, you may well be able to help some of these young women....
| ||
|
Goannaoil - At least I'm gusty enough to reveal my face to all my blogs, as oppose to you and Beyond Fantasy who have hidden your faces! Why don't you post your photo of yourself? I haven't read your Blogs yet, but I will. You like to criticize, but I have to see how knowledgeable you are too about dating. How many women have your dated this summer or this year? I approved your comments, so I'm going to be open minded to accept most comments that will be useful to others around the world who do need help. At least, I'm writing about my own personal experiences about my Dating adventures or hanging out to go dancing. I've admitted that sometimes I can be shy, but lots of other people are too! I'm a confident person,when I walk into a room when I know people there. So I do go to singles dinners or events almost every week or I'm out there to socialize at Bars, and restaurants. I read over and over again that certain people are very uncomfortable about putting themselves out there to meet other Singles, by going to bars or restaurants. I may be fairly new to dating after my divorce, but you don't know how much experience I've achieved prior to my marriage. I got married in my early 30's. So I dated a lot of men while in my 20's, before I got married. I also read a lot of relationship articles and books when I was married. Psychology and relationship issues between men and women were my favorite subject, besides investing. I might of been out of the Dating game while married, but at least I was working at my Relationship. I don't have a Masters in Psychology, but I will be working on getting certification on coaching, once I can afford the classes. I have taken dozens of Coaching Workshops and talked with many personal coaches. Right now, I'm giving advice for Free to Friends and new people that I meet at these singles events. So I'm working on that experience. I've also met other matchmakers locally and watch the program, "The Millionaire Matchmaker," on Cable. I've also decided to sign up for 6 Dating Sites to be the Online Games and also do some research on my own. I am in the Dating Game, so for anyone that itself it getting the new experiences that I've be doing just by talking to singles on a weekly basis. So what have you been doing to advise others or even talk to people on a one to one basis? I'm out there talking to people. I will need to read your blogs. Sugi Dancer, Dating Coach
| ||
|
I've been writing about relationships for more than 35 yrs.... I've also worked closely with friends who are in the professional counseling business, as well as past friends who were in the expansive fields of psychological services. I've written many items, over many years, a vast amount utilized by these same individuals whom I've had long association with. As to the dating scenario, so much of that gambit entails who thinks they have the power. some of the illusionary power circles around who feels they can influence and even control when and if sex is a part of the equation. In the concept of women, there are many... who think their concept of regulating when sex takes places give them an illusionary power. There are those who feel, if a man does not accept their premise then there is no sex, therefore many women live with a concept that if he wants to get some, eventually he will submit. This has been and continues to be the break factor to more relationships than any other single spectrum factor. Some women even go to the extent, to assume their concept of power to judge and rate the man based on what he gives, how frequently he gives and what offers and concession he is willing to give, as a basis of assessing the man. but they never stop to think, of their utter selfishness within the premise of that Modus operandi . Women gather frequently to assess what men give, and what men offer, and what they can coddle him to give and offer, as there then becomes many women who assess themselves by what they can extract within this process, while giving forth as little as possible. some women use, yes, "use" the spectrum of , showing acceptance and showing disapproval, as a manipulation and controlling mechanism. there are many such ploys and gambit functions within how people operate. but the fact always comes down to the simplicity of "want'. when the man no longer wants the woman, nor no longer wants to be manipulated, and tires of the sex being tied to these manipulative and coercive factions within the function of interchange. Then, absolutely none of these gambit functions have any impact nor effect upon the man, nor does he any longer concern himself with that woman. Paying attention, is the factor that brings forth truth, and any relation that does not function with a balance of honesty within inclination, and and with as too, within, the act of being motivated by "want", then; they will resort to ploys of a variety of sorts. cultural premise has much to do about much, and culture is distinctively different from one home to the next. People like to proclaim that this or that ethic group functions by this cultural edict or that, but the morphed nature of those edicts become equally so, changed from household to household. therefore, we come to the nature of what is realism... which is the individual. Sex, as a symbolic reference, when the word is broken down by symbols,... S = as a symbol, denotes to "hook", "strap", "trap" or "brace"... E= as a symbol, denotes, the foundation of the natural ( man) /(woman) X= as a symbol, denotes, unknown quantity. Now how do people pursue sex ? (S). they engage tactical functions, to "hook", "strap", "trap" or "brace" . ! (E). be it a man pursuing a woman, or a woman pursuing a man (X). they seek unknown quantity, be it in the function, or to control the function and or engage the function . such as, to: "hook", "strap", "trap" or "brace" I have volumes of materials on the matters, of 'human relations".
| ||
|
Goan and I have both had pictures posted in earlier times of participating within this site. For me, it is simply an option that i chose not to re-post mine. As to the aspiration, I certainly wish you well, because the young women today, certainly need not only guidance, but they need perspective in learning how to regard as well as value the nature of what is a relation. I hope you do find the means and resources to fulfil your goals... I just read about a man, who counsels and coach teen, which involves their self view, esteem and many other factors. I write much about things, many women certain can learn much, but their utter contempt and instantaneous defensive cause many to shut down, rather than expand, think and learn, thus grow. Unfortunately, many don't awaken till they are old, and they can no longer use sex as a barter and gambit tool... as they realize the pursuits have diminished, and the result is in some cases, they have failed to develop congenial relationship skills. So, certainly, your aspiration is a much needed element. Equally so, there are many young men, who equally need some of the same. You may care to consider what you will "Anchor" your premise upon. I personally, "Anchor" my principles in these matters on the God essence nature of Good, which aspires to embrace , The Golden Rule... "Do unto other as you would have others do unto you".... it is in the nature of its basis a life long learning process of which, our human frailties and emotion content, has a ever functioning impact on the principle aim unto the rules adherence. We have within our living as human beings, the 7 vices and the 7 virtues, and they are of a intertwine , which serves to insist, that we use our ability, capability within our want and will, as well as our will and want. to pursue, knowledge, understanding and learn better to act with wisdom(s) guidance.
| ||
9/4/2011 1:38 am |
Hello SugiDancer, I understand your present posting; I am dating again as well, meeting people has been hard, as you mentioned, people have outdated pics of themselves, shave a few 100 pounds from reality, and the list is long accounting the "bots" and cam-girlies, though I have met nice people too, that by simply telling it as it is we become friends, no more, but just good friends. Your incident with the drunk guy, I know I would not need to be drunk, you are a refined lady that calls my attention, too bad I don't see you at parties, I would be flirting w/you. have for sure that many guys are wanting to call your attention, they probably forgot how LOL
| ||
|
Woaini I didn't like the fact you called all women, Sluts who want to go dancing and the only places to see Live Bands that aren't Christian Bands are at Clubs, lounges or restaurants. I like to go dancing, and I'm not Christian, so other than at Festivals, where else am I suppose to hang out at? It's going have to be at Clubs. Nowadays, I go with groups that I know that will be there. Basically your comments were generalizing women by calling them Slut who go to bars and they aren't marriage Material. So I didn't allow your comments, to Upstage Me. You have your own Blog to state all your opinions. The event I mentioned on this blog started out as a Singles event, where I knew a few people. It was Booked at a bar since it's Free to use that faciility and that Irish bar wanted the business from our large group. Nowadays it's expensive to have live bands or a DJ at a private banquet room, which I would be booking if I had to cash flow for my events. I'm an event planner for different Non-Profits talking to different hotels for galas and it's not a Free Facility since you will need to order Catering with the room. Sugi Dancer, Dating Coach
| ||
|
if one expects to counsel anyone, if they are not open to the engagement of different view points, then they are not going to be the best of counsel to anyone. " this is an oddity of comment, for one who is interested in counseling others" "So I didn't allow your comments, to Upstage Me. You have your own Blog to state all your opinions Are you sure you want to counsel, indoctrinate or dictate ? Life does not fit in any neat boxes... it is what it is, and it exist in a broad spectrum of what makes up reality.
| ||
|
Dear Woaini By the way, the event I described in this blog, also had high quality people and singles attending. Most of them are working professionals, in fact with college degrees. I had no control where the venue was booked at this Irish Bar in downtown since I wasn't the event planner. But one of my acquaintances who did attend this event, is Single and she's a music professor at a university and concert pianist. Again, since I love going dancing, the only venues that offer live bands are place that serve alcohol. I did meet one guy who's planning on opening a non-alcoholic venue once he gets approval from the City. Most of these clubs are under-aged clubs where I used to go dancing, before I turned 21. I, myself don't drink and never have gotten drunk at a bar before. Sugi Dancer, Dating Coach
| ||
|
 Thank You all for your comments! I look forward in doing future blogs! Sugi Dancer, Dating Coach
|
