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Unhappy Couples Staying Together With I'm responding to a Poll whether a Couple should stay together or not if they have , even though they have many problems that can't be resolved. Since my divorce, I've been meeting other parents with young , teenagers at home. I have one friend who did get a divorce and she Has a special Needs . She's struggling and without the financial support from your Ex-husband, she probably would be on Welfare. adds joy into people's lives, but they are a big commitment and Financial Burden. My Ex-husband thought so, so he refused to have . I stayed with him for years regardless and stuck it out, feeling miserable. I stuck in out even though we didn't have . So the burden adds to the couple's stressors, if they don't make much income at times. However, poor people are happy with many running around, but struggle financially. They are the working Poor, who have two jobs to support their . Sometimes the dad doesn't see the at all like in the case of my Ex-boyfriend's dad and my Ex-husband's dad. Both had big families, grew up low income and didn't see much of their dads who were working all the time. People do stay together and maybe live separated for years because they have . I met one women at a house party, who's was just two. She was lucky to get out of the house and have her Ex babysit. I can't imagine trying to date again, while having a small to take care of at home. Unless you are rich enough to have a nanny or get free help from relatives you won't have much free time to go out. Unless you take your with you on the Date. But it separation creates more problems when they go out and meet other Singles to Date. I have a couple of friends who have been separated for 7 years, but living in separate states. It's their choice because of the , not to get an Official Divorce and they are also insecure about making that decision. Where as, a lot of people rush into marriage without knowing the other person. There should be a waiting period of getting married like 2 years of getting to know the other person's annoying habits. I don't want to get remarried again right away and deal with annoying habits of my new partner. I have new found freedom now as a Single person again. After 5 - 10 years if I find the right person, I might get remarried. But I'm too independent now. I may have to be more dominate to speak out though. I didn't while I was married before, which was my problem in communicating and staying in harmony with my spouse. It's a Japanese custom or Japanese American cultural value, to stay in Harmony and not make too much waves or sweep things under the carpet. I don't sweep things under the carpet while employed at work though. So I've had difficulties with White supervisors. That would be another Blog to talk about. What do you think?  Sugi Dancer, Dating Coach |
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9/5/2011 12:05 pm |
a nice thoughtful piece. its good to see some people are still thinking....
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9/6/2011 9:23 am |
In my experience I would rather see my parents happy; along the years as I grew up, one of my parents wanted out of the marriage, but stayed for the kids instead, them two agreed on staying for that reason. I saw sadness of being encaged, in a love cage, but a cage at the least, one of them has past since that family life, the survivor has now a new relationship with an "old flame" and has declared that marriage is a big NO, since the new found freedom is so precious and as you well put it, having to learn to share each others habits, which for me would be hard and one of othe reasons to not seek a long lasting relationship in paper, beside the economic burden that other carry (some people with horrible credit history and debt agresively seek relationships on paper to get them relieved from debt, just another modality of "baggage") which might be for other blog discussion if you will. Marriage to me is espiritual secuestration of two happy people, happy to be exclusive and happy to share each other's burdens, otherwise, single life is more desirable, IMHO. **and as special note: if people have kids, they should be responsible to the kids, not so much for the lack of commitment to a partner, but simply by the basics that if we are good enough to reproduce, then be good enough to no fail to that innocent soul.** Cheers to all.
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