and Relationship
|
Posted:May 30, 2012 9:43 am
Last Updated:Jun 4, 2012 1:34 pm 9612 Views
|
I used to think "A is a man's best friend" and that you wouldn't be placed in a situation in which you have to choose.
I met a guy off of Chinese FriendFinder awhile back and during when we dated, he indicated that he liked dogs and that they're a man's best friend. Well as the relationship progressed, I invited him over to meet my family. My parents and I both have dogs. One is a corgi around 40 lbs and the other a terrier that is less than 15 lbs. He now tells me he was actually afraid of dogs. Hmm...I am sort of wondering why he tells me this now instead of when I first asked him. Furthermore my mind is thinking what else could he be untruthful about. Of course he wanted me not to ponder too much about this but about the current situation. Well I never had any problems with either dogs before when I had friends over or contractors that come and fix things so I didn't think too much about it. I told him don't look a in the eyes, pay no attention to them, and move into the house slowly. Normally the dogs just come and sniff you and leave. Needless to say, he didn't do that. On the opposite, he turned and ran. For those people who have dogs knows what would happen. He didn't get hurt but he wasn't very happy about the whole situation. It wasn't that bad a situation. I told him I will try to get someone to help him get over his fear. I would have gotten the whisperer, if I needed to. The fact that he has to do something is something he can't comprehend. He turns the table on me and said I was a very cold woman for taking a animal's welfare over a human's welfare. I can't leave a outdoor long and I certainly ain't going to put the in a shelter. A man is not worth it. That has more loyalty to me than a man ever will be. I may come out as being cold and uncaring person but I did try to work with him. He lied to keep a relationship going so he come across as a better catch. Is it worth it? This whole event would have been avoided if he simply told me in the beginning. Even if it meant to be a deal breaker.
On my profile now, I indicated my ideal person "Must Love Dogs" and there is a reason for this. Any guy who can't handle dogs turns out to be dbags. My can sense when the guy isn't good. I have dated other guys who I was compatible with but they can't pass the test. The ones who can hold up their own turns out to be fairly decent guy. I think the has a keen sense for fear, insecurity, weakness, and someone suspicious and much more.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Time to Heal
|
Posted:May 28, 2012 9:19 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2012 5:51 pm 9139 Views
|
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. - Oprah
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
The grass is greener on the other side?
|
Posted:May 28, 2012 8:06 pm
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2012 4:09 pm 8753 Views
|
Well, is it grass that you want really, or a perfectly happy life with what you have already? Grass looks greener on the other side, because it's the grass that you don't have.
Grass is not something you can eat, all you can do is lie down and roll, until you get wet and dirty and roll on to the next pasture. So stay where you are and realize that if there was ever a green pasture, this is the greenest it can get.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Be Who You Are
|
Posted:May 26, 2012 7:04 pm
Last Updated:May 30, 2012 10:46 pm 9058 Views
|
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
- Dr. Seuss
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Ninja Online
|
Posted:May 25, 2012 10:14 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2012 5:49 pm 9105 Views
|
"It is so easy to be a 10 foot tall all powerful and conquering ninja warrior when you are online" - Unknown
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
What constitute a healthy relationship?
|
Posted:May 24, 2012 11:29 am
Last Updated:Jun 19, 2012 9:29 pm 9802 Views
|
I think the it is important to find someone with whom you are compatible with first.
A truly healthy relationship will consist of both partners who are interested in learning and expanding a relationship so that it continues to improve.
Most people argue to be "right" about something. Having a healthy relationship means that you have your experience, and your partner has his or her experience, and you learn to love and share and learn from those experiences. If you can't reach any mutual agreement, that doesn't mean either of you is wrong or bad, it only means you don't suit each other. When both are compatible, the mutual agreement are reachable.
The things you do for your partner must always be done because you chose to do them and you wanted to do them.
Do not hold your "good deeds" over their head at a later time. Keeping score in a relationship will never work. A person is less likely to notice and value all the contributions of their partner as much as their own.
Many people are taught to lie to protect someone's feelings, either their own or those of their partner. Lies create disconnection between you and your relationship, even if your partner never finds out about it. Tell your true feelings;
your partner can argue about anything that happens outside of you, but he or she cannot deny your feelings.
Do not expect anyone to be responsible for your happiness. You are responsible for your own happiness. Take good care of yourself first before entering in any relationship. Some people are unhappy with themselves or their lives. If they can't make themselves happy, they shouldn't expect others to.
Finally, letting go the past and focusing on the present, forgive each other.
These are just some I can think of. I am sure there are more. What are your thoughts?
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Man Poem
|
Posted:May 18, 2012 11:19 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2012 9:40 pm 8484 Views
|
Here is a poem that has a unique way of expressing how man, woman, and romance intertwined. It's by Louie Levy. Very nice.
There is he, in sHE
and HEr, need he
Then what would woMAN do with just a wo...?
Slim chance for a make and roMANce
However, when mere words are expressed
It will be sHE who is un-addressed
Having HEr to impress for roMANce
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Love is largely misrepresented in our society
|
Posted:May 16, 2012 9:35 am
Last Updated:May 20, 2012 9:41 pm 9052 Views
|
We equate Love with Excitement. When we're little, mom and dad give us toys and say "Be happy!" So we are.
We equate their love with getting something shiny and new.
Guess what, that doesn't work in a relationship or marriage. In fact, shiny and new are two of the very first things to go.
In our consumption, consumer, "me-first" society, we want love to be all about ourselves, our happiness, our self satisfaction.
That's not Love at all! That's called childishness!
Rather, Love is defined by the lengths you will go for OTHERS. This often means self sacrifice.
So parents who try to keep their happy with "stuff" are amazed when they have a string of broken relationships later on. The misrepresent Love with having a new partner. Excitement = Love, right?
Nope. Not even close.
And we unfortunately have given every emotion connected with others some amount of the definition of Love. For instance, Infatuation is not Love. But many people regard it as a herald of Love. Then the infatuation wears off and they feel like they've fallen "out of Love", which they never were in to begin with.
How about Ho?niness? The want to have s3x is not Love. It's hormones. Remember, the human race doesn't need Love to multiply. And boys and girls are often swayed into thinking they're in Love, when it's really s3x chemicals in the bloodstream.
So how do you know that you are in Love? Basically, it comes from an instant concern for the other person with little or no regard for yourself.
Most mothers love their little babies. Their concern is strictly for the baby. Not any of it for themselves. It's this kind of emotion that accurately reflects Love.
That's why Love is one of the most precious things on the planet.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Love is Fickle
|
Posted:May 16, 2012 9:22 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2012 9:07 pm 9954 Views
|
Love is a byproduct of sacrifice, pain, selflessness, discipline, and trust.
It takes great character to be in Love. And Love always goes on vacation in a marriage or relationship. There are simply times where you can't stand the other person. But these feeling fade because the solid reasons why you loved that person to come back.
And if they don't...that should tell you something.
But don't expect to have that fluttery feeling for the rest of your life. Don't be disappointed when love changes or flees your relationship. Work hard, be patient, it'll come back!
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
The Long Engagement
|
Posted:Nov 20, 2009 10:17 am
Last Updated:May 26, 2012 7:13 pm 9179 Views
|
Wow! The last time I blogged was in 2006, three years ago. Where have I been? My best friend tells me that my love life is full of excitment. I fell in love too fast and when it ends, I fell hard. I give fully to each new relationship and it always ends up chipping away at my inner being. Well, I meet someone here on asianfriendfinder again. It was around mid-December 2005. It was a long distant relationship. I didn't think it would have worked, but I wanted to give it a try. He proposed to me in June 2006. When we met face to face, we felt a connection and I accepted his proposal. We were on cloud 9 from 2006 to early 2007. We couldn't wait to be together. The engagement lasted for close to 3 years. I dragged my feet. A big part of this was my fault because I had him wait. I had a lot of things happening in my life at the time. The software that I worked on was to be released soon, my basement flooded due to heavy rain, and I had a family of raccoons living in my attic. Yes, raccoons. My dad had prostate cancer late 2007. I waited until each issues passed before he and I thought about coming together. We finally got together in 2009 but he had to leave because his mom was in the emergency room. Funny how things worked out. I don't want to talk about when he was here because it hurts a lot. His mom was diagnosed with stomach cancer and he received a new job offer. He and I are no longer engaged. I waited too long. If I truely shared my life with him and let him become involved, we probably would be married by now. I would have him with me during the holidays. It is always easy to say "I want someone to share my life". When you really do it, is another thing. It tears me up inside each time when I think back and thought of what I could have done differently at the time which could have changed things. I can't. I can't go back in time and change things so I just have to aceept it as is amd move on. I wish him luck at his new job and hope his mom is better.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
